According To Wes
Finding the humor in everyday life and trying to understand what that means to me.
Join me on this never ending journey of self improvement and reflection with the help of friends.
According To Wes
2 Men 1 Seat
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For the record we are not Doctors, Psychiatrist, or play them on TV. There were a bunch of theories discussed this episode..... don't take the advise
NBA 2K and Social Issues
Speaker 1And this is just outside looking in . I'm not showing it to the other B , which I are . I think all that's fine and dandy , but what happens is y'all go overboard . This is it . Y'all go overboard . No , no , no , no turn . You don't know when to turn that off . So it's kind of like yes , definitely have something for yourself , but you should also be having something for yourself and also put yourself in position to be a partner , not to be a breeder , and then be mad when you can't find anyone that's on your level or above your level and , like you , literally worked harder when you weren't supposed to Like . You're on the street , Everybody . Welcome . Back to another episode . Or in the West's podcast , as always , we got Delaware and Sifton P Law .
Speaker 2You can be law in one word really . I mean I am in my own .
Speaker 1So I'm not the one , I'm not the one , I'm not the . Bleep that out . And as always , you got me Wes striving to be a 99 and 2 kid .
Speaker 2We're at now with that 90 . 90 . Yeah , you know , I started playing that game after you .
Speaker 1I'm not even more than me . You play more than me .
Speaker 2I play an hour a day .
Speaker 1Okay , I play an hour a week . Damn , there are our week Like when I'm sitting down like they've been the part time of 95 , I can get like a couple games into , you know , through career to kind of do what I need to do . But playing online is what gets you the most points easier . I mean you know the most , you know quicker , not easier , but it gets you the most .
Speaker 2I haven't played a one line game yet You're paying an hour a day .
Speaker 1I'm envious . I wish I could do that . I've been playing a lot of street fighters too , so that's a little different too .
Speaker 2I mean , I get an hour randomly .
Speaker 1You got a 94? .
Speaker 2Mm-hmm .
Speaker 1Fuck you 94 . Yo , isn't it so easy to level up with them badges Be clean and light . How to get these badges , man you ?
Speaker 2know , I don't mind how they do the badge system now , because it makes it so that what your style of play is is your style of play Exactly .
Speaker 1That's the thing , that you won't worry about it . I appreciate that too . Like I appreciate that too , I got a lot of my open look my masher , because I couldn't get a masher last time . Masher , fearless , finisher , like all the end and the paint , type shit , and I was in and out type shit . You know only at bronze I ain't going no midshot shit . That's how I've been playing .
Speaker 2Is there already at bronze for you , as soon as you get to be able to get them .
Speaker 1I don't know . Well , the first thing was just to get it to bronze .
Speaker 2And that's the one thing I do like about it , because it's like all right , cool , whatever Like . Oh no , make it bad , it's based on your game style . Now , you don't know what , I haven't even think about it , it's just like what's your game style is your game style .
Speaker 1I'm going to get them up because eventually because this is how I play Yonest is destroying though . Oh wow , he's just got a lot of it , A lot of the shit . Okay , Free throw line I'm like God damn . And defensive breakdown . What the fuck am I supposed to do with that ?
Speaker 2Right Fuck .
Speaker 1Every time I play the bucks man Right , you think the bucks in the game and you think that's going to be a good little situation .
Speaker 2No .
Speaker 1Me either . I really wanted him to go to Miami and I think Jimmy Bullock going to make that motherfucker pay .
Speaker 2Yeah , and the only reason I think it won't work is mostly because who they got rid of to get them . You're on .
Speaker 1I guess we got them and it's not the Pacers .
Speaker 2I wish it was , though With the faces of you and the drill I see the faces to the use . Fucking could use day , but you know they may come in Indiana . You try and watch .
Speaker 1I mean , do you do that ? I mean shit , you want to someplace is just why you want to fuck a little walkie . But that was because of the artist . I mean shit . He came from Portland , Like I mean , come on now .
Speaker 2Right , but yeah , I mean , I mean , mind you , drew would have came to Indiana . And , mind you , if Drew came to Indiana , drew would have been there just for the money . It wouldn't have even been for like really playing , playing , it's like it's .
Speaker 2But , I made . What I made wasn't a bad trade , not a one to go to Miami , because a lot of people I know love Miami . So they're like , oh yeah , I hope he was going there with no , because I don't want to hear you for another , another year . So I'm also like , yeah , we the champs like nah nah beyond .
Speaker 1I don't mean like Miami or the team . I like Jimmy Butler . I want to see him when the champion . I want to see young Michael Jordan on the chaff , except so bad . No Kevin Gates Spitting in Girls Miles at a concert .
Speaker 2Hey look , you know a vision like that shit .
Speaker 1He was a writer of the story he was telling me .
Speaker 2he told me not to love you about it , but about about a coworker who her home girl was like the dude , pulled her hair back and spitted him off and now she won't mess with any nigga that was spitting him up because they don't nasty enough . I said Nick , I said she does realize she can get . I mean I was fucking around . I was like she can get salmonella and all that stuff . I was like yo , but that doesn't even make any sense . Like that's what you want . Like come on . Like get your life . Like I get it .
Speaker 1I don't want it , but like you're gonna stay with a trash dude just because he doing that .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 1And the good is like you know what ? This is what I like , but saying that clip , that image of him doing that and the girl just leaning back , I don't know , I'm gonna shit like that .
Speaker 2I'm like well , you know what he's famous ? He's famous Bitches . Bitches will do anything for him . That's the issue . Like he got money , so they're like all right . Well , look , if I can get him to spit in my mouth and he , taking back to the room , he fucked me , give me pregnant . I'm set for life and that's the glorification and normalization of a woman , at this point where it's okay . And you know , me and my wife just had an argument about this and I was like . I was like argument or discussion .
Speaker 2We had a argue discussion .
Speaker 1Whatever that is .
Speaker 2And there's an argument and discussion that Everyone of all the things that happens in this world , especially for black men , the normalization of all this independence for women is , to me is completely pointless , because it's like you're glorified being a single mother . You're glorified just fucking niggas for money . You glorify putting niggas through the ring . You're glorified being on a session and you glorify all these things that you're putting your pussy , your mouth , your ass at a horrible value .
Please Communicate Your Preferences
Speaker 2You know what I'm saying . Like what's the best that'd be ? Like if you buy me one margaritas something , you buy me two , I'll suck your dick . You buy me three out of four , you take me a Pound Town shit like that , so you sell me your pussy's work be margaritas . Like if I was in a dating game right now , I'd go like this oh , do you listen to whoever that bitch that does Pound Town shit ? Like oh , yeah , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1So at the same time , that should be a line , so like it really happens , because for the most part , nine times out of 10 , they like don't treat me like no hell , I'm like dog , you're .
Speaker 2They say that you don't know . They say that , but guess who treats them like hoes , scumbag , ass niggas .
Speaker 1And other woman Look to me .
Speaker 2I find it the weirdest thing that a good guy comes across all of a sudden . Now you got morals and standards for how you should be treated , but let some nigga who you're like well , you know he ain't got no parents at home , he'd be out in the streets all day and you know that's how you grew up All of a sudden , that nigga ain't got no standards . You got no standards , no sort of anything for the nigga . All of a sudden , anything he do , well , he don't know no better . Like you're justifying , you're justifying toxicity , just so that you can say huh .
Speaker 1Toxicity .
Speaker 2Toxidity . Look , you knew the fuck out of work .
Speaker 1Yeah , we were all in that .
Speaker 2Well , you're justifying that to make it seem like to justify your choice of guys . I'm still a firm believer that women will always say what they want , but what ? The complete opposite , Because once they get what they want , they still cheat on a nigga with the same shit that with the same shit they said they don't want All the time .
Speaker 1I'm gonna tell you , like this , the cheating is the extreme right . So when it comes to that , my new theory and this could be a bad theory my new theory is that usually women choose those type of guys because they know that that person can't call them out because their life is just as fucked as theirs , like , oh , you ain't got it together , you ain't this , this , this and that , and I ain't got to start . Stop , you know , doing all the stupid shit that I'm doing . I ain't got to stop . Like not thinking about my future and my finances and stuff like that . It's like you can't call me out on it and I want to be with someone that can't call me out on it and make me think I'm reflecting this shit . Just a theory .
Speaker 2I mean I had a different perspective on it , because my perspective on it was I felt like women picked . I felt like women picked guys that , oh , this is what I want , and cheating on , because a lot of times what I hear from women and then this is from my investigations , my informal investigation or shit they're like oh well , you know , I don't want to teach them how to fuck me . Versus , if you find a guy who you really like , who treats you good like , if he says , hey , I want my dick sucked this way , and you just be like man , fuck that , I ain't doing it this way . If your job tells you to do some shit , why the fuck are you winging ? What should niggas tell you to do ?
Speaker 1Yeah , that's the shit I don't understand either . It's like the instant gratification thing , like nobody wants to work hard , not even work hard . I don't even want to work at anything . I mean because even if you want to yeah that doesn't have to be a hard work thing , especially if he's saying this way and you're like you know what , I know how to do that . Not really that hard .
Speaker 2It's like you don't go into a job and wing this shit . Why the fuck do you want to see a relationship ? I mean , I mean sometimes , but you don't , you don't , you don't . You go , even if you're winging it because you knew you weren't qualified for the job , you still listen to it , you're still listening in the beginning of your winging it , but you're still listening and just like any guy who goes into a relationship with a woman and they're like , oh yeah , blah , blah , blah , blah , they talk this big game and they say , okay , this is how I like my pussy . Do you still going winging ? No , you don't . Like I don't , I don't get the process of oh , I don't want to teach the one how to fuck me , how to do this , how to do this , but you're willing to cheat on somebody who can be good for you just because you don't feel like teaching someone like just because you're you know what I'm talking about this young lady at PC .
Speaker 2I'm talking about in general , just in general , because I've come across many where you know I come across many women that I've dated that are like you know I don't want to feel like I got to teach and not that I dated just many women who I've encountered that they're like they don't want to . They're like they don't mind a man that has a lot of bodies because they know how to fuck , but they don't want to deal with a guy who they have to teach how to fuck them . But in my opinion I'm like that's completely backwards .
Speaker 1Well , it's not even backwards , it's more of us like those are two different things , right ? So if he is the one with a man , it shouldn't be one of those things where he's like , yo , what do I stick this at ? That's not knowing how to fuck , you know . Oh , no , no , no , no , right , what do I stick this at ? Now , when it comes to you , I'm going to have to learn that .
Speaker 1So , even if you don't verbally , I got to pay attention to body cues . I got to pay attention to what's on . Well , I got to pay attention to what's on . You know , I have to pay attention to the work that I'm doing . You know body , which , all that good stuff . So I was like , yeah , you might not be saying things verbally and stuff like that , but in a way still teaching . That's why I said that whole lot is stupid , because it's kind of like , even though he ain't going to say , we still teaching you , right , but see , but that's one of the things that you know , that kind of like , you know , you know keep a pressure , or you know like , nah , nothing Right now . You know that type of like . It's the same thing .
Speaker 2See , but that's not the same , like it's . Like , it's no reason for , it's no reason for you to get with somebody and when they tell you after you do what your initial time to say , okay , this is how I want it , and then still wing it as if , like , you know better than what they said , they like , like , it doesn't make any sense , Like , that's like , if I'm , like , I like , if you want to be just on the tip of it , just put your mouth on the tip of it and I'm good , then why do the whole thing ? I just told you what I want . Why are you winging this shit ? Or or if they said , well , I want your tongue , I want you to tell all the way in the hole and shit . So why am I just being on the clear , like , I see that all the way Always dead .
Relationships,Responsibility, and Financial Stability
Speaker 2In the grand scheme of it , once they tell you how , once they tell you how they want to be sucked or how they want their order done , why are you still winging it based on what other people like ? Because they just told you what they like You're you're based off of . Well , I never had no complaints .
Speaker 1Well , listen , if anybody's doing that tongue all in the whole shit , that should be it . You should by now . If you're 36 , 37 , 40 , you should by now be doing two actions .
Speaker 2In your tongue .
Speaker 1There you go , oh man , in the human you might have tried that when you were young and like thinking that's what it was supposed to be or whatever . This is what this is really going to do , and I'm not saying not do it , but you should not be focusing on that , shouldn't be the only thing when you put all that on . That that's a message for West . If you're still doing that like that is that is crazy . You were , you were , you were speaking like when you were saying , like you're not going to go to your job and wing it right . Larry , I realized I'm like yo . All this preparing I was done like to become a upstanding adult and you know a man that I want to be in shit . I was , I might have been how could I put it ? The soft skills and stuff that I was developing and try to better myself . I might have been applying for a job that don't exist , no more .
Speaker 2Really .
Speaker 1Because it's kind of like when you do the right thing , like save money , be fiscally responsible , when you do shit like avoid debt and shit like that , all that shit seems to be unattractive to women Nowadays not saying you're a wife of my wife , but when I be looking at it , or like some of my homies are still out there like these women be living crazy man . Some of them can barely put gas in their car . No one has shit in their refrigerator . Right , they were sleeping on the air mattress on the floor . He's a woman with good jobs and I'm like dog . How are you ? How is this happening ? What type of woman are you dealing with ? Make a hard-to-care you .
Speaker 1I don't even know . How does that make sense ?
Speaker 2I don't even know this . I don't , I don't get it .
Speaker 1Well , yeah , man , I'm just like dog , I was just like I'm not saying this is all women and shit like that . We're just kind of . They say they want somebody , you know , got this stuff together and there's this and that , and blah , blah , blah . They ain't got shit together . I don't get it . And dog is not even worse . They think what you're doing , may responsible , is crazy . I , oh , you don't do this , you don't do that . I speak about me , speaking about one of my homies . You don't drink , you don't do this , don't do that , you don't do nothing . Fun I like , totally like . That's not fun for me anymore .
Speaker 2That's gonna be responsible . That's what I'm saying . It's like you , you , you , you , you , you go , you . You finally get to a point where you like , alright , cool , I got responsibilities , you go through it and they're like , oh well , I need someone that can travel , like me . It was like , alright , that's cool , but reason why it's your traveling .
Speaker 1The chances are your is not on your dime and if it is , when you die , she wanna . You want to know why I don't pay for her .
Speaker 2Like on out look the way I look at it , is it , even if it's , if it is on your dime ? You have someone that subsidizing the stuff that you need to do in your real life To be able to do it when you die . So it's like either you live with somebody that pays half where you live with your parents and you can be like I am about to go . I'm about to go to Columbia , niggas .
Speaker 1Or you got the free dates with the news then .
Speaker 2but but that's what I'm saying is , like , as much as they , as much as I Wonder , you know I won't die . Well , you know , we all do the same things . Some people just not responsible , like people are all well , you know . Oh yeah , I'm like when I used to work at warehouse case in Boston . Oh yeah , oh , I'm heading out to Vegas . Oh okay , cool , cool , cool . I mean , don't you got bills ? Yeah , man , make the , but they'll be here tomorrow . Oh okay , they're like , why don't you go out the baby one if you beat them ?
Speaker 1getting ? What do they go back every month ? They won't .
Speaker 2If you pay them , they'll be gone for a month right , but it was one of things where does it you know when , when you ask one , will you live with your parents ? Oh yeah , I live one person . I , you know I pay my parents right . Okay , so that means you pay like 33 to 400 . It is you know saying , could you stay in a little space ? But you still got the amenities versus I like when D was . When D moved out of his guys house , he was like he's paying 78 .
Speaker 1Yeah but what ?
Speaker 2Oh , you know , he's paid like 7800 a month .
Speaker 1Yo , that's you just like to his room .
Speaker 2Just just to a room , so wrong .
Speaker 1At that point I'm gonna try to get me a like a roommate and we gonna run it chicks in and out . There's no fucking way I'm paying my mom 800 fucking dollars they . I had a problem paying . How much was I paying when I , when I had moved back home , I forgot much I was paying . I , I was like 200 or something like that . And then it turned to like oh , now I have to pay my mom's mortgage and my more because I Wasn't living in this house at the time . I still had to house . I had to pay two mortgages because my mom lost a job . That was the most stressful shit ever . I couldn't do shit . I couldn't do shit .
Speaker 2Look the city that took me out . Sometimes that went 100 , though my baby , I'm 700 , you know and at that point he was just working secure . You know he's working like more security . So it was a like he was making bank . He was making enough to like survive . But you know what , once he got , would be ? It was like alright , like I remember when , hey , what they were like , oh yeah , we're moving it where they cuz they not , you know , they don't have this , this and this and then came around and was like , oh , they haven't paid the mortgage after . So guys , so knows how long that they had to finally start doing real life shit . I was like whoa , I told you it's not to move niggas like yo . But it was , it was one of the . I was like you , like you couldn't really have people stay over .
Struggling Adult Living
Speaker 2The person who was in the basement with them lived at the house . That was like his shower house . So he was some , he felt some type of way . It was , it was always a mess and so this , oh , what happened ? So when he moved ? So when ? So what ? So when he moved , he knew a guy Whose parents were like written out a role , okay , so he had access . So With his six to seven hundred dollars he was paying a month , he had access to like cook food upstairs , but he really was kind of confined to his space in the basement and so he was um . So he had . The space in the base is smaller when the basement access to the bathroom and shout at him and the person that was in the basement with some had to share um .
Speaker 1That's why I never had a roommate . You know I don't want shit . No shout with a grown man . I'll wash an old bathroom with a grown man and I'll sit my ass on the same toilet seat as another grown man . I it feels . It makes me feel weird . I don't do any of that crazy shit .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 2I can't see how anyone has done it so it got to a point where you know because you like , you know he's paying everything on time and so we will we will come over and and I will sleep in the room on the floor and Like when he had just come over . They sleep in the In the room , so sometimes I still sleep on the floor , but a lot of times you know you might leave in a room and just sleeping out on the sofa , I'll get your play cap , I bet . Whatever the um . I don't know if it was the , the person who was downstairs with them , who whose parents house it was , or If it was the parents , but it was like here , if you're gonna have , you know , we don't want you having any company spending the night , or if you leave the house , they need to be leaving with you .
Speaker 2So it started being to a point where I was being in the room and He'd be taking a jet out town and I'd be like I'd be knocked out on the floor and Knocked out . You know saying I'll . And if I woke up and I heard it , you know what I did . I rolled the fuck over and oh baby , oh , yeah , exactly like you know . Reason for me to even wonder about what the fuck going on . All right , so it's it was , and that's why I was like you know , I don't know if you know when I moved out , I Moved out and I moved . It was me and my wife that moved . Like I was like there's no reason for me to move and they all of a sudden have to deal with that sort of shit where it's like all right , what here , you're gonna pay us 800 , but you can't . It like it started being to a point where he couldn't even have company about .
Speaker 1There's a oh yeah , and that's because . That's because , wherever you would stand that you say you whether that was that right , wherever you were staying at point ?
Speaker 2No , is that a bad time to get out ? Is ? That was like you got be out by this point . And and it got to a point where I think I went to his house one day I want to his dad's house I Took a bottle liquor over there . We were talking one day and then the next , in like a week or so later , he was like I moved to this other place and I was like , oh , all right , and so then I would go over there , I go hang out with him , or like , hey , what you getting ? He's laughing , just chilling . I was like , all right , well , if he ain't doing shit , I'm out of road through and I'm gonna come chill over there .
Speaker 2That was like my getaway , like we weren't going nowhere . It was another . We were just I was , we were going literally buying a bottle and chilling at the basement apartment place or whatever . You know , whatever Easy money . And if we decided to go out , we went out . If we didn't , if we went out anywhere , it was always a jasper . As the time sort of was , it was always a jasper . You know what I'm ?
Speaker 2saying In the tiger wings and the tiger wings , look , look you taking me back . I was like , oh , that motherfucker was good , though I don't hold you , you know .
Speaker 1I was like I don't know , jass was in the middle . Yeah , but yeah , the reason , not the reason . But yeah , man , I'll . The reason why that shit was so restricted was because , you know , the basement was attached to the house , of course , so if anything was going on in there , it affected the house greatly , right ? That's why I'm running out of basement and ain't sitting on by that . I don't know there's going to be family Right To a degree , so that way if I got a whoop your ass , you ain't going to cover the police , right , because if you can violate me you know what I mean or something happens like I'm only accountable rather than like a law abiding rent paying citizen . Like you know , that's just me .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1No , I didn't the whole house or the detached from house . That's just what that is . That's how I handle that , if I , if and when , when I get the chance Right . But that's what it means to me now . Responsibilities , responsibilities . I'm just like I was always taught , like yo as a man , make sure this , this and this , blah , blah , blah . You can have your pick . They going to fall in line , they going this , this and that . And when I was dating like I married and shit , it was like , nah , that shit was cool on paper , but most of them ain't want that shit either . They wanted you to , they wanted their idea of what they wanted a man to be and it was none of the I said I was done . It was none of the responsibility that I , but that's what I was now . I mean the age , the point . So that is the weirdest thing to do . The weirdest thing to do .
Speaker 2Ain't should change . It's still the same way . They don't . They'll say they want . They say they want everything out the wazoo , but still go back to the same trash niggas . That's the complete opposite of what they wanted . It was like .
Speaker 1My whole thing is , when they went back to them , I ain't really give a fuck because it was kind of like all right , that's what you need to be . So that was never my issue . My issue was , like , motherfucker , act like you know who you with . That's just what it is Like . Act like I'm bringing something to the table . Act like you know I'm bringing something to the table , Not like I . Act like I am . Act like you know I'm bringing something to the table and follow accordingly .
Speaker 1Right cause that's what I want to do there . I'm not wanting to follow accordingly . I'm like no , that's not how this shit go , Like you can't even say shit that I do .
Speaker 2That's how I was . I was like you know , there's like , well , you know , yeah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah . And you know , like you're a creep person , like my thing was , I always hated you're a creep person and I'm just not ready for this type of relationship . Then , bitch , why act ? Why act ? Why say that this is what you want , when you know you ain't , you ain't mentally ready for it ? And then , and then turn around and be like you call me , like , oh , yeah , I just want to talk to you . I was like , all right , how's everything going ? And then you know me , I know what it really is .
Speaker 2So did you get back for this ? Yeah , we got back together and it's like , oh , okay , did it change ? I mean you know he's better than I said . Well , is he better now , or is he just doing enough to keep you around ? And it's like I mean , you know , but when you know I already know what it is and it's doing the same shit . It just so happens .
Exploring Gender Expectations in Relationships
Speaker 2It's something that's familiar for you , that you know , when things get like Like for every chick I've been relationship with , if these got too serious , where it's like , oh , this is a real relationship or things weren't going their way .
Speaker 2It's like you're breaking up with a lot of brats and little girls , yeah well , yeah , because it's like it's either if you get too far on one spectrum where , like you know what , you just not for me , all right , cool . The other spectrum is you just not for me . But you're too mature , you actually want a real relationship , you want me to be a wife , you want me to be this . And all of a sudden , now I'm like I done said all this shit , I done talked myself into this shit . Now I don't want it because I like what I had over here , even though the suit is .
Speaker 1Let's see . That goes back to my new theory of like they don't , they don't want to put in the work , they want somebody that has , that has just as many problems or that's a work in progress and stuff like that , so they can never really call them out on the bullshit or the fuckery or the mindset that they have . They still want to do the rest shit and ratchet that shit with their friends and body stuff and stuff like that . And if this motherfucker is doing the same thing , then we doing the same thing together . I don't have to get any better . I don't have to work on myself . I ain't got to be a better person . New theory I'm tested out . I want to talk to some people and see what's the other shit go .
Speaker 2No , I don't . I think it's just not both theories nowadays , because it is so it look they sit on the third margarita they won't let you take in the Pallet Town . Mrs Smith , her anxiety and her stress and her and her security ain't built that way . I buy a bitch one margarita . She ready to be the bitch ass . That's , that's period .
Speaker 1Well , you can be buying nobody , margarita . What else I am is you're going to talk to women and pass things , and then I got work and shit like that . Just those little questions .
Speaker 2If I'm just the things I didn't put , if I don't work with a family , she's a nigga . You know what it is and that's why I , like Mrs Mepid , mrs Smith is just as consistent as I am when it comes to certain , to come to what it is , because that is like hey , look my anxiety and built this way . So unless is this , this in this nigga , that's a dead issue . I don't need . I don't need no like I . Like one of the chicks was leaving for my job . She was like so you're going ? I was like um , I thought about she's like so are you going ? I said no , I'm not going . Like fuck , I want to go to be a bus . It's like yeah , not there .
Speaker 2What you need to be going there for is a bunch of women ain't like your boss going there , some other people of the mess . One is all chicks Not bring you as a fuck home . But I can respect because it is a consistent thing . My wife knows what she wants . She knows this is what it is . This is what it is . It whatever , it ain't like we the dating phase of back in the day where it was like I want a guy who will treat me good , listen to me be caring and all of a sudden you get all that and it's like like I need you to be like tougher , like take charge . This . That's not what you asked for . That's not what you asked for .
Speaker 1Then I said , fuck , I love ever so , but sometimes listen to him with all this . I'm tired of talking about it To someone's plan or somebody's plan it wasn't even that . Or just like this is what I want . I'll be like you said this to me a day . Why didn't you mean it like this ? I mean they're like this . I'll be like I'll just trust my judge , because you don't know what you want .
Speaker 2I come to the conclusion . It was . It was one of the . I was like you know all the melon and meltastic city . I was like you know what I said I don't believe in meltasticity . And she was like you know why not ? I said because I said meltasticity is a word that came from humanness , to downgrade men , to say , okay , now they want to take charge , they want to do this , they want to do this to get and it didn't , it didn't align with their feminist movement . So if , if , if there's a such thing as meltasticity , then that is a thing as feminine toxic .
Speaker 1I said you know well , you're thinking of it as an X , or now set as an S . Hey look , you know I do math for a living . Yeah , I see that . Yeah , it's the track .
Speaker 2Track the X , track the X , add the S . I got it . I'm not going to do all that , but with with them saying oh well , I always look at it from a standpoint of meltoxicity . That I've been wearing just now Still fucked it up , and what I'm going to do is females who are so used to being in charge of a guy , letting them be in charge of them , being bosses , and someone just saying no , no , no , no , this is not what's happening . I'm going to need you to follow me . I'm going to lead us to the promised land . I'm going to do this , this and this , and I understand I'm going to use you as my partner , but really I need you to just back me up on this , because I know the best way to do this , and that's what they consider meltoxicity , toxicity , toxicity out of the no , no Toxicment how put that is ? That is that ? Is that better ?
Speaker 1Easy on the ears . I agree with you in that , like I think that comes from a I want to lead to , or I want these these pretty quote unquote advantages too , but I don't want to do none of the work , or I don't want to do the other shit Like I can't toxic I'm just wanting you to be being misogynistic , being too aggressive , being rapey , because a lot of men are rapey and creeps .
Speaker 2A lot of men are rapey . I will say that . I will say a lot of men are rapey , but I won't say a male being aggressive isn't the important thing .
Speaker 1I'm in a place for aggressiveness , like don't scare the hoes , don't scare the hoes , motherfuckers . Like if we out and about and stuff like that , we're going around , please just tone that shit down . Like there's a , there's environments and times for that . That's what I'm getting at . But if that's you 100% , every day , all day , as soon as you wake up and brush your teeth , like that's crazy , yeah .
Speaker 2I'll tell . I'll tell from my answer . There was like do you believe in male toxicity ? I said no , I don't believe in it , because I don't believe in what you're saying . I'm not . There's toxic . There is , there is . There is toxic men , but there is not toxic masculinity , because every woman , even the ones who are the modern women , they want a masculine man . And when you deal with masculine modern , we're going to do Modern women is a female toxicity Is that ?
Speaker 1I don't know why . Because they want modern , make the money and stuff like that and still want to be treated traditional , exactly . And the other one that's not . Modern women in the middle .
Speaker 2You can't , can't claim to be modern . You can't claim to be modern and what traditional shit . And I felt like we , we , my wife had this conversation . I was like you know , we , we had to open . Guys Like , so do you think you're a modern woman , or do you more traditional shit ? Like I think I'm more modern , but I have traditional values . So you definitely have traditional values . I said so what do you think I am ? She's like well , I think you're more modern . I said I'm modern , some modern values , but I'm definitely very traditional . You know , she was like well , I don't see it that way . I said , all right , that's cool .
Speaker 2And you know , when we talk about certain things , you're like oh , that's that's , that's , that's toxic masculinity . And I said in my head , I'm like well , you can't have toxic masculinity If it ain't toss just because . So someone tells a woman like no , I'm not gonna deal with that and you need to follow me . That's not toxic masculinity , that is males being males and being doing what they're supposed to do . I feel like feminine toxicity is always gonna be of them want to be a male and being in charge . So if you want to be in charge , then what you need a man , for why are you begging for a man to come be , was she like ? But then that's also . I also think that's also feminine toxicity , where all of a sudden , now I don't need a man , I don't need this , I don't need this , I'll . I need you to give me the money , give me the bag , I just get you , get me pregnant , let me get you . That's also Female toxicity , because it's like , so no longer do you think you need a man now you .
Speaker 1PS Fuck I .
Speaker 2Honestly , I would just say I'm just getting it all off my chest this time . This , this is the one time I get all off my chest .
Speaker 1I'm gonna break . But one part of my theory with that is that , as far as like the harder woman , modern man type situation , that shit , how could I put it ? You know how they say , yeah , I don't pay bills like your granddaddy did , or some shit like that . Like , yeah , not traditional . Like , god , grandmother , yeah , I don't pay bills like your granddaddy did . Here's the thing . This is I don't know if this argument is out there , but I've been thinking the reason why that . So back in the day , you could your granddad or where granddad could afford what he could afford , that was it His wife or whoever . That that's what it was like . It was nothing more . So it's like , yeah , it's , he's want to be able to pay those bills because those are the bills that he made .
Speaker 1The issue is now is that People want more . You always want more . We turn to consumers and then and then stuff like that and sheeple . So the modern , the tradition , did not the traditional , but the other average Western woman , modern woman , you couldn't dare say , alright , you're gonna probably upgrade your phone every five years . You only get a certain . You get closed at the beginning of the year and at the end of the year you want to take care of the kids and the food I bring in here is what I could afford and make some bad with it . That's not gonna happen , but that might be what that man could afford . So Right , technically speaking , if she was cool with that , he is paying all the bills . He does have a house . For her to stay is like that Is just that that's not gonna fly for them . But you see what I , who does fly with the people that migrate to the states , the people that migrate to the states , the Latino , the Asians , the but because they all have traditional values , they were raised where the man led .
Speaker 1Exactly so . If he went out and got something , that's what he bought home . That's what you was appreciated for , like that's what you got until there was something better .
Speaker 2Especially in that one that's irresponsible for .
Speaker 1Exactly . He's providing everything . So my whole thing is let's just not . Let's just say the woman does want more and she doesn't mind Going out there to get it . That's fun . Under your agency of your man , your husband , y'all working things out , the kids have been taking care of , we bring in that extra money . But at what ? Why , at that point , do Didn't some feel like , alright , when I'm making the money , I get to make decisions too , and it's like not , the decision was for you to go To work with . You wanted more stuff in the house . That doesn't mean you dictate and and try to boss and control everything that goes around .
Speaker 1So you that happen because you know what that is , though you know what that is what , what's what , and that is my theory making sense , that that theory makes sense like that's what's .
Speaker 2The theory makes sense . The theory makes sense , but you know what it is . You know it has nothing to do with . Oh Well , it has everything to do with . Okay , I'm going to get this money and as soon as they're making just enough that they feel like they're your equals , is it's that I called the adam and Eve complex ? Okay , and this is why I called that . So I know , I'm not gonna get his castle , I promise , I promise . But thank you . So you know , adam was out here on this earth by himself , right , guys ? It not , as they could , shouldn't be by him , goddamn . So I'm gonna give him a cockybond , right ? So , adam , you know , adam tells Eve .
Speaker 2Hence , what most men do is like hey , you know , you know , this is why I expect of you and this is what I'm going to do . Is there anything else you expect from me as far as being your man ? Blah-blah-blah , the communication of you're the woman , I'm the man and I'm gonna go out here . I'm , you know , I'm gonna do what I have to do to make sure I take care of you and you do just to make sure you take care of me and the kids .
Speaker 2She Went out her way , her from another nigga . Hey look , if you eat this fruit right here , I Mean God says you won't die , but every outing is you gonna die . He just don't want you to be like him . So you know what she does he eat it . Don't shit happen . She gives us for a man . Her man eats it because God gave Her get , gave him the actual commandment that he was supposed to fit
Series Of Theories
Speaker 2the doubt . Once he did it , that's when everything kind of went to shit . And I take it and I reason . I call it the Adam E accomplices , because every woman wants they man to be better than God in my pain , like they want you to be better . They want you to take care of her .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , I want where you run , so I just like didn't go that way .
Speaker 2It's like you get with somebody like , okay , I like you where you are , like just like Adam and Eve , oh , I love you where you are . But as soon as it's like , huh , I Need you be better , I need you be better , I need to be better . It's almost like that . I need you to be better than my dad . I need to be better than God needs you to , I need you to make sure I don't want for nothing . And Then , as soon as it goes to shit and shit doesn't happen , it's like , well , nigga was your fault . And guess who's saying well , yeah , you the one that told me to do this shit . How the fuck you gonna be mad , as you told me to go and go get this and I felt it , and now you mad that I did . Like it's .
Speaker 2It's the Adam and Eve complex , where women want to be in control and tell you how you supposed to do your life . It goes all back , all the way back around , to , instead of them , listen to you about how you want to be loved . Now you won't be fucked . They want to tell you I'm gonna wing this shit and you're gonna be loved the way I want to love you , versus all it is it all Hands is so right back into . It's like , well , if If I'm gonna be with you , then be with me because we're gonna be together , not because you're going to try and dictate the shit to me Like , oh you know what , go eat this fruit dealer . Go go eat this fruit , you're gonna be better than guy , you're gonna know what God knows . And then I do it . We kicked out the garden eating you like , well , nigga , you know the fruit , but you just told me to eat the guy .
Speaker 1Yo , that is a that is out of a theory . There's a part is where I'm like alright , I see what you , I see what you cook it , where I see what you cook it with .
Speaker 2But it's another part , so I'm like oh , that's just , that's my , that's what I call . I call the admin either only because Is it's the fact , though you get you , you , you , you try to be , you try to leave your household , right , you try to leave your household and you say , okay , look , I've been talking to God and God said this isn't this . And the woman says , okay , uh-huh , uh-huh , and it's soon as they get the chances or something that inkling , like you know , if you do this , what's really gonna happen ? Like , do you really want to trust this nigga that he leaves , that he talking to God and you , and then , as a man , because you don't want to Disappoint your wife , you don't want to like have that argue , you don't want to have any of that stuff going on . You like I co-op , compromise and do whatever , and then it's not According to that will of God and they're all for certain .
Speaker 2Now shit's to shit and you're like , well , damn , like how do we get here ? And Next thing you know is like , well , damn , god told me , do this . I did this bitch , I did this , cuz of you . Well , I didn't tell you to do it , I just I just handed you this shit . You didn't have to bite , I put a gun in your head . It's just always it's . It's old . Men and women always want to lie . In my opinion . In my opinion , men and women always wants to lie so I think I'm Understanding this theory more so .
Speaker 1Here's what I'm getting from this Adam and Eve theory , right , instantly or typically . It started off with the story that we know , but right now you can insert the snake , the devil , with stuff like social media , society , society , reality , he , her little friends and shit like that , saying this you open this , the wolf , your portion of that theory , saying like , oh , he wants to be better than she , wants him to be better than God , she just wants him to be something that she can brag about , show all , betting the next man , this , this and that don't really care how she get it , don't really care how you get it , that's just the way it has to be right , though she would end up literally forcing that on him , so to the degree where she don't even recognize the motherfucking no more . Now she don't even like the person that she forced his motherfucker to be , and and there you have it .
Speaker 2Yeah , you have it . Look see , and this is why we were I didn't know about , because this is exactly what I just said in the most roundabout way .
Speaker 1Must off , goddamn . Yeah , I had to think about it . I had to think about it like and that should . Yeah , that's that's how that shit works
Normalization of Women's Independence and Struggles
Speaker 1. Sometimes , like people like that , they just be bored , like they don't have no substance in . They like they try to build something or whatever you or not even build something . We're just trying to , you know , feel something . I'm just saying trying to feel something . There's just kind of like maybe trying to live through other people . It's a crazy thing . If you have a , in a sense you should kind of be living through your wife , or your wife should be living through you in a way . When it causes certain things , like your success should be will be their success , like they're gonna benefit from that , just like you know other way around , her success should be my success too , because I'm definitely gonna benefit from that as well .
Speaker 2So , like Everything is always going to be subjective , like , no matter what , men ain't leaving no relationship because we done , chose you . We said , all right , look , we chose , we don't spend money , we , we don't put all this money there . Then you , it's cheaper to keep your ass . You know that it's cheaper to keep your ass . But for women is like , oh , I'm not happy , I'm not this . I'm like but well , why aren't you happy ? Well , because you don't do it this way . Well , did you tell me that ? Did you ? Do you commute ? Well , I shouldn't have to . Well , you want you kind of do a little dumb right .
Speaker 1It's a little time . Like yo . I'm not gonna admire read you like I don't one . I don't know how to do it to . If I did I wouldn't . So it's just kind of like .
Speaker 2Some right , and I feel like it , they , they , they've started normalizing . But you know , and I will say black women , black women , I have to you know , because you don't see this from the beef hey .
Speaker 2You just from why we were outside what they is , is it like if you look on TV , they they try to normalize Black women being alone , black women raising their kids together , black women being public system , black women having their own business , back when being bosses and not need a met . Everything is geared towards black women , not needed black men . But you see a . You'll see a movie when a black woman is in distress and who comes and saves them a white man on a horse . You know saying what you talking about . Talking about what I've been seeing on the telly .
Speaker 1Okay , when the only question is that why the�o something Absurd , what has been ? It's been hemos more . There are , oh , willie fields , only congress of 50 . I don't even know who's you when he wants to ? Never , she got a US citizenship so he can try outside of the country now .
Speaker 2I've been with Paul . Me and my wife were watching a movie earlier and the guy in the movie was like you know , I need you to choose . You want to be with me and be with me , or you know where . She's like well , you know , I like you , but I need something for myself . And she's like well , you know some , you know , as my wife explained . Well , you know , you know , sometimes women just want something for themselves . They won't have to depend on a man to do stuff . And I'm looking at her like that's the normalization of women struggling for themselves , like they are normalizing black women struggling for .
Speaker 1But the thing is right . But the thing is and I'm not going to I'm not a woman , of course , and this is just outside looking in , I'm not showing Telyada B , which I are . I think all that's fine and bandy , but what happens is y'all go overboard . This is it . Y'all go overboard and no one will turn . Y'all know when to turn at all . So it's kind of like yes , definitely have something for yourself , but you should also be having something for yourself and also put yourself in position to be a partner , not to be a bridge there and then be mad when you can't find anyone that's on your level or above your level . I'm like you literally work harder when you weren't supposed to .
Speaker 2But you don't necessarily have to . And even when you work harder and you so happen to make more than the person that you're with , doesn't mean they're less than you , doesn't mean they didn't work as hard as you .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's less If it might take another generation or two for that to get to . Because , my point is the thing I could make more . Now , men can make more . They don't treat that woman crazy , right . But when I'm not well treated , I'm like you need to be doing this . It's like , nah , we would never get no sex if that was the case , right , like if we had a whole saying that broke bitches , don't get no dick Like . A lot of felt it , but we know that's not true . We don't care .
Speaker 2We don't . But you know , because you know my wife makes a whole solid 20 plus grand and not do , probably like 30 plus grand and not do , and we work out fine because at the end of the day , like like we talked about in a whole different podcast , it's okay for you . We want to make more than you , as long as you can still take care of her life . She makes less and that's how I take .
Speaker 1So all that , you could take care of her . I mean , I do that . We're talking about the over in the step and thing right , well , way more money than uh , then step . But he also has a lifestyle and a life where he can pretty much do whatever he wants to do .
Speaker 2as far as we're first , why does I had to throw some sauce on that man ? I had to throw some sauce on that and we don't know souls like just took the sauce off of it man .
Speaker 1No , I didn't Did I .
Speaker 2Yeah , you did , but I got that . Look at that .
Speaker 1I'm not going to take it , I'm worried . No , because I want you to put , I want you to . Basically , I was trying to big you up because it was like yo don't don't , say because don't like . Say like , uh , treat her as good , as she's making less than you . It was like , nah , just she don't have to be making less than you , it's just that you're able to , whatever lifestyle she likes and she thinks she likes to do , you're able to accommodate , right ? Yeah , that's all I was trying to say and that's why I do the over at Steadman thing in here , because it's kind of like they both have more money than both of us . So it's kind of like , but they still make that work , even though she makes a whole lot of money , A whole lot more than he did . She's a billionaire , he's still somewhat of a millionaire . You know what I mean ? Yeah , that's all I was .
Speaker 2Well , that was always . That was always my thing . Like me , and we meet my wife talking about it . I was like you know , I don't get the normalization of women being single , alone and struggling on their own versus the whole A man who he doesn't want to come in and take care of you or change your life . He wants to be with you and enhance your life , but it's almost as if as soon as this guy comes into your life , you take it as if they're trying to take over your life versus just be a part of your life . And I said you're women .
Speaker 2Black women have normalized being single mothers struggling on their own , being on section eight , starting their own businesses , taking care of everything and doing their high girl summers and all these girls , whatever they normalize it to where , once they come out of guy who's like , oh my God , all of a sudden now they don't know how to unnormalize this thinking that they've been given because in my head , this is what the white man wants is they want you to not be with the black man . They know we're stronger together than we are apart and they want you to feel that you don't need us and they want us to be with their women to keep us apart and keep us not as strong . And she looked at me like , well , that's not how I feel . Well , that's just how I feel . I mean , mrs Mifes has radicalized me . I am now ultra black , as in a nice old raw hair , as in a nice old saying and so , but that's just my . That's my personal feel of it , my personal political feel of it , but my personal feel of it that I love black women .
Speaker 2If I'm going to be with anyone , I want to be with a black woman . I don't want to always feel like I'm fighting uphill battle with a black woman who has an ideology of that . They have to have their own , they have to do their own , they have to do this . They can't be with a man . If a man is with them is to enhance them , not to enhance each other , like that to me . I'm like how does that make any sense ? Along with , if the value of your vagina is $12 for three margaritas , you know , at Fridays , I mean shit , I still be single because , excuse me , man , did you listen to that ? That sexy red song ? Yes , is your vagina three margaritas ? I mean sure , yeah , definitely . You know what ? Excuse me , sir , can you give me three margaritas . I don't even know what . The sexy red . That's what I was like . The Pound Town .
Speaker 1I know who she is . I've never heard any of her songs . I know she has .
Speaker 2I never heard one of her songs . I heard her , I heard a little bit . I heard a little bit and I was like it was like if you give me one margaritas , something I like you two margaritas , I get your head three margaritas . I was like wait , and in my head now I don't know if they're going to expensive margarita places where it's like $36 is $12 margarita . But I know back around away and pressure was only at Fridays and boom , I was nigga on Wednesday . Or Margarita Wednesday . Nigga , that was $9 . That means your pussy is $9 , right ?
What Is It Really Worth ?
Speaker 2The value that they put on their bodies and what they can get from men is sometimes this babbles my mind Like do you ? Your vagina is worth you ? You make your vagina worth money and honestly , I don't believe a woman's powers in their vagina , I believe it's in their mouth . You know what I'm saying .
Speaker 1I believe it's in their service , god damn .
Speaker 2I will .
Speaker 1Look , I put the old nuts . Put it this way , listen . No , put it this way . I believe it's in their service because , at the end of the day , they're bartering with the raw thing , bartering with it . They're bartering that with people or men that don't really care about that , where they want something other than that substance , right ? However , if you can line up any man as yo , this woman's want to be everything that you need . She's want to be a good support system . She's want to raise your kids and be a mother . She's going to be all that in the bedroom . She's going to be a top class chef and this , this and that , this is how much you're going to have to earn to have that and keep her happy . And if that was just kind of laid out for us and we saw it , if that was achievable , a lot of us will go for that .
Speaker 2Of course .
Speaker 1Of course , bartering the wrong thing . They just bartering one thing and it's kind of like that already come out of that diamond , but I mean that's also the new bartering I'm not talking about , like when me and my wife still need to go win . That's always been bartering . Oh , maybe I'm not lucky I was open now , but undercover , oh yeah .
Speaker 2Because I mean , don't get it wrong , like it's ain't never like been like , oh , I'm not gonna get you to the pussy , like they will allow me to get you . Like , fuck you . It was very few , you know . You know , you know husband material Huh , what's husband material ? Like , like I mean I can't explain it . The funny thing that always got to me was , I mean I can't explain it , but it's just not what I'm looking for in the husband what . So you can't explain it , but I'm not looking . So how do you know it's not what you're looking for ? Like I would have been better off you just saying I really just want to go back to my ex because I'm used to that You're a little too nice . You know you ain't getting riled up when I do dumb shit the Mickey mask or that we have makeup sex . You just like , oh , you did dumb shit .
Speaker 1Once again , that's all based off of I want to be happy , I want to be entertained . Like a lot of people have that mentality , Like they just want to be entertained and you're there to entertain and make them happy . That's what a good relationship is . So Amen . I don't know .
Speaker 2On the side note , I'm looking at Independence Day and I'm looking at a young biblical father . He's a little bit of a stripper . Oh yeah , bad . Oh my God .
Speaker 1I'm pretty sure after the we start reporting is one have another conversation with his wife about a . So what's got a new theory . What do you think about this theory ?
Speaker 2Oh , the Adam Eve theory .
Speaker 1No , that's your . No . Don't say you use my real theory . You're not . I'm my first mind already .
Speaker 2So , man , I told you that that is just my theory that women want to be better because of based on what they see and everything else , and men are just like thank you , this is who I am . And we go , we go about it , trying to do it , and whether it compromises who we are not , we do it and then we still lose the woman anyways . I'm like they might want them , like why the hell am I , why am I ? And I'm guilty of it , I'm done , I'm a change , I'm a be this guy . And then it's not me . I got no shame in my game . I've done it .
Speaker 2It wasn't twice , I think no more than twice , whereas , like you know , I need you to be this , especially when I was with Hawaii that is a perfect example . When I was with what ? Well , you know , I need you to like you don't buy no clothes , you don't do this . So I started buying clothes and started doing this , taking her out for clothes . Guess what Me and that bitch ain't together now . So you wanted me to do all this . You said for me to look like someone who he would be with is to do this , and then I do all that and guess what ? You still is . He's still gone .
Speaker 1Like the fuck . You mean Right , because that goes back to what I said , exactly what you said . Yeah , she , it's the same as you need to be happy . She wants to see different , and then you end up not being the guy that she actually like and she's like . You know what things have changed . I was like bitch . I did this because , right , that we need to talk about that conversation At the end of the day .
Speaker 1At the end of the day , everybody stayed true to themselves You'd be a lot happier and what's for you will come to you because you are you Exactly so , like you know , like no bullshith .
Speaker 2They got to close you my whole life problems Now so that you , you west the life coach .
Speaker 1Has a nice ring . They got everybody for tuning in . See you next time .