According To Wes
Finding the humor in everyday life and trying to understand what that means to me Join me on this never ending journey of self improvement and reflection with the help of friends.
According To Wes
Sleeping With The Maid
You hate to hear it but one of you in the relationship is the cook, house keeper, chauffeur....you know who you are
My own is like the washcloths and towels and shit, because there'd be times when we would run through a whole bunch of you know wash garments and shit like that. I'm like, oh shit, it's the last towel.
Speaker 2:I want to fuck all the time.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be downstairs in the basement so I got to throw a little over in that bitch and I'm like you know, that's just me. Oh, you got to swap them out every day. Oh yeah, y'all swap them out every day. Yeah, why not live like that? You say we rich.
Speaker 2:Y'all rich.
Speaker 1:No, we're not rich. We got a bunch of tiles. The same situation with your undergarments and shit like that. We just got like a bunch of tiles and washcloths so we can kind of do that. So it's kind of like all right, there's usually a separate load for tiles and washcloths and shit.
Speaker 2:I mean that's not a bad idea if we had enough. We ain't got enough tiles and washcloths for that, like literally, I would have to go out and buy a tile every paycheck just to have enough. That all right, here's 14 tiles, yeah. That's every week.
Speaker 1:Hey, welcome to another episode of the According to Wes podcast. As always, we got D-Law here.
Speaker 2:You have the reigning defending undisputed fighting fantasy football champion of the world.
Speaker 1:You have D-Law, the sober son-in-law in the building and are you sober because you showed your ass off last Sunday when your wife told you not to no?
Speaker 2:I'm just sober because I haven't started drinking, because you went to church and then, once I start drinking, then I'll be the law the devil's son-in-law.
Speaker 1:At least you got your priorities straight. You go to church, you don't drink or eat pork before you go to church, but as soon as you got out of church you're already eating pork and you can't wait to make that drink. That's how I suppose to go.
Speaker 2:Exactly Because I'm Jesus, strong Hallelujah, praise the Lord, thank you, jesus.
Speaker 1:Yeah sure, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 2:I don't know what that means. That's what he kept saying today. He said you keep making it through because you're Jesus. Strong, jesus, strong Jesus strong.
Speaker 1:Hey, why not Shout out to him? Shout out to Jesus, Jesus, the man above, and his mother Mary. Shout out to her and his stepdaddy Joseph. Shout out to him because he could have turned Mary away, because having a kid and your wife say she a virgin, but she pregnant.
Speaker 2:You know, that's faith, right there yeah and it ain't yours it ain't yours, but he saying you about to have this baby you about to have this baby shout out to all the biblical figures out there?
Speaker 1:yo you, it's water. I'm gonna ask a question, like you, know biblical figures out there, yo, you no. No, this water's really good. I'm going to ask a question. Like you know the answer to I'm like yo. So what do you think Joseph's doing right now up in heaven? Like, what are Mary and Joseph doing right now up in heaven?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I wish I would know so, because more than likely they're as the old folks say. More than likely they're as the old folks say they're praising and worshiping the Lord and enjoying their many crowns, they got.
Speaker 1:True, true, true, True, true true.
Speaker 2:Have you tried that? Slap your Mama seasoning.
Speaker 1:That's a. Is that with a lady on the front? Is it black and white?
Speaker 2:It's in multiple colors, but not black and white. If I'm not mistaken, it's Creole seasoning.
Speaker 1:Nah, it sounds like it. Nah, I haven't tried that. What's the?
Speaker 2:It's. It tastes like Creole, honestly. It tastes like Creole honestly. It tastes like Creole seasoning, really, and it's quite delightful.
Speaker 1:Nah, I'm just thinking what you know, the traditional Sazón and shit called farm dust from Farm dust. Yeah, it's damn, I forgot the brand Old Dutch something, something, something I got from one of the, um, one of these farms. I know that sound crazy. I probably got it from miller's farm, but they, it's not their thing, it's uh, I don't know where I get it from. I just go on amazon and reorder it each and every time we run out. So farm dust, farm dust, sazon, butter, herb, lemon, something, something. You know the traditional. That's what I do when it comes to dry shit. Okay, so yeah, nah, I'm not bad at it, hey man it happens, yo yo.
Speaker 2:I feel like you got a story for us um, I got a lot of stories yeah, I feel like you got a recent story for us do? I got a story for us. I might have a story there's a lot that's been going on. It's a lot.
Speaker 1:Listen when it comes to work. We got to work off your work stories because I could get sued or fired.
Speaker 2:It's hard to get fired from the state. Oh man, we did bring in this new chick, so, mind you, she's a Gen Z. What is that? She's after us, she's after the millennials, oh, okay, so you know, I'm learning, so I'm assuming she should be tech savvy. Nah, nah, this bitch ain't Nope, she ain't.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing I used to think that the tech savviness was like an age thing, just like you thinking right. And then I got into the profession. I'm like, nah, it's just people that just comprehend it and don't comprehend it. Like they know how to do certain things, like on a phone and stuff like that. But when you start talking all this other stuff and how to solve problems basic problems that I would think is basic. It's not what I remember. It's like when I was working for, when I was working for Amazon, doing IT or like that part-time job, I can say that shit now, cause I ain't working there no more. I used to think software developers were smart when it came to that. Not at all they. They would frustrate me to no end when it came to certain things, cause I'm like in my head I'm like yo, you're smart, you should be able to get what I'm, what I'm saying and what you need to do and the answer is just no.
Speaker 2:They just know how to code.
Speaker 1:Yeah, code is a bitch, but nah, man, they know how to do what they know how to do. That's what I revised.
Speaker 2:They know how to do what they know how to do, yeah, so she comes around to my cubicle, yeah, and she's like okay, I'm getting really frustrated, can you help me with something like uh, okay, what you need. How'd you put a drop down menu in excel? I'm just looking at her like are you serious?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I do that. I don't use Excel either.
Speaker 2:I'm like would you be a drop down menu in Excel? I'm like did you go to data? No, did you go to data validation? No, did you. Well, is that how you do it? I was like well, technically, yeah, this is how you do it. I said well, why are you doing an Excel? You do know the state uses Google.
Speaker 1:Google Sheets.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm like if you had Google Sheets, it would be a whole lot easier. They did a whole thing where they wanted you to use and they said hey, do you want to try this new form using Dropdown? It was like, well, I want to do it in Excel.
Speaker 1:Learn what your job is telling you to do, because if you learn how to do it in Excel, what are you really doing at your job? When they say use Google? Here's the thing, even when it comes to stuff like that, like I just said, I don't know. You know what I do. I Google it, google it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, same thing I thought that you know normal people would do. You walk around to three cubicles to find out. Does anyone know how to do it? You know what we all did when she kept asking questions Pull out our phones and Google it. I'm like you can't make this shit up today. You a whole 20, 21 years old and you asking about.
Speaker 1:Excel. I'll tell you like this it's getting to the point where I don't even Google. I will go on, uh, because bing got co-pilot, and I'll just ask a chat gtp and be like yo, how do you blah, blah, blah, blah? It will summarize, it will give me links to point me in the direction where they got the share from boom, boom, boom. So I don't even google anymore. To be honest, I kind of just like I asked the ask the ai like yo, how do you blah, blah, blah, rather than Google, you typing in blah, blah, blah. You looking at the links, you looking at pictures. Maybe one might have a video. I got time for all that shit. Summarize this shit for me. Let me get to the point and let me get back to work. So she ain't that smart.
Speaker 2:And that wasn't even the worst part. So when we were like, come on, you supposed to know this? You know you, you, gen z, you, you guys are, y'all were born with technology, so you know we, we started going through all this shit we had to do real.
Speaker 1:We the real. Nah, millennials are the real. Uh, generation that was born with technology. Think about it. We seen the beginning and up until what it is right now. From the beginning, our parents were just starting to see computers. We were born with computers so we had to go through all the processes of, yeah, what a computer is, what the internet is to what it is right now. Yeah, we are the last of a dime re. We we're always going to understand A to Z. They understand Z.
Speaker 2:So you know us Most of us millennials in there, except for one of the other guys and we're like, well, what was your first cell phone you had? So now we're going into. You're proving my point already what kind of phone did you?
Speaker 1:get iPhone. Well, my first phone was an iPhone 5. You want to know what mine was? I don't even know. It was a Motorola, something, something.
Speaker 2:Mine was a flip phone. Yeah, flip phone. Mine was a Sprint flip phone. I think it was a Motorola. Oh no, Mine wasn't the first.
Speaker 1:Mine was a Sprint Metro PCS, something, something. That's what mine was.
Speaker 2:I was like you had a flip phone. She was like, oh, my sister's first phone was that one we slide up. We was like a sidekick. I said that came out when I was in college.
Speaker 1:So her sister's how old? 47? Nah, that couldn't have been. Oh, it must have been the Android version of the, because remember they did one last and it had Android built in, but that was still like in 2010 well, apparently they both got cell phones when they were like seven or eight or nine.
Speaker 2:I'm like rich seven, eight or nine, like jesus and it was an iphone yeah, I was like man.
Speaker 2:I said look, my parents finally got a cell phone that they use, that they shared. The thing looked like a giant cancer block. You had to pull out the antenna. You got to reach around trying to find a Good cell signal. Got a cell signal just to use it. Don't let you be somewhere where you're in a basement. You ain't getting no signal in there. She's like well, you know. I mean it's like yeah, nah. Then she's like well, how old are you guys? And when we told her how old we were, she's like well, how old are you guys? When we told her how old we were, she's like y'all like five years older than me. I was like what kind of math are you doing? You're 21. We're in our 30s, I'm in my late 30s. Well, that's only like five years. I said now, is this girl math or Gen Z math? Because I know y'all are dumb in math.
Speaker 1:She's way smarter.
Speaker 2:I was like there's no way. You're like five years older, so if I'm five years older than you, why don't you know this? That means you're a millennial, true?
Speaker 1:put it this way, that frustrated you. I get frustrated when we both a colleague and a colleague in the same profession. We both got trained the same type of way by the same person and it's a year and a half later and you still asking me how to do basic stuff. That's another reason, most likely how I got this position anyway, because it's kind of like he made me look good and I'm just like just by him being, you know, being dumb as shit. Listen, I ain't say that you said it. You said it but you didn't say it. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying I applied myself and he did not, and you know that's how that shit work in real life. Sometimes people do see you applying yourself.
Speaker 2:You ain't got a lot.
Speaker 1:Or maybe it's just that sometimes people that you work with do so much worse than you that you just outshine them by doing basic shit. I couldn't tell you which one it is. All I know is I'm thankful.
Speaker 2:He was just dumb as shit.
Speaker 1:I ain't say that I ain't say that. Come on, man. You just left church. Man, jesus, strong man, what are you doing? You're like all that's out the window as I pour me up another drink.
Speaker 2:Did you go to church today?
Speaker 1:No, I shouldn't laugh at that. I am not a model Christian. I did not go to church. Even though I had a chance to actually attend service virtually, I did not go to church. And even though I had a chance to actually attend service virtually, I did not do that either. So I was telling my wife I need to get back into only because I'm like yo, I know this all crazy. I was listening to the word one time, virtually like I was doing the church thing my mom's church and I was lifting weights and I was like man, this is getting me through my whole work, really.
Speaker 1:You're working out at church. I am not lying, I am not lying. Oh gosh, I was able to see my nephew in the choir singing and stuff like that. Yeah, I was like, oh, this is a bet, I love this virtual stuff and that's what technology should be improving upon people's lives. I'm still getting the word.
Speaker 2:Yeah, still getting the word, Still getting this workout in Shit that's what I would do.
Speaker 1:Look, I encourage you to, but you know, wifey might have other plans. Wifey might have other plans At one point.
Speaker 2:I was even uh, I'll be grocery shopping and um listening, listening one of my homies.
Speaker 1:What about we be playing video games with us and be listening to the word, but we play a call of duty and we'd be like saying stuff. He'd be like my bad, y'all listen to church. I'm like yo not get off what you? How do you tell your homie like, pay attention, somebody's coming through the back door and you just like, and he's listening to, you know the word. Like how do you even, how do you even fuss at him?
Speaker 1:I don't know, those Sundays were some of the most aggravating Sundays. I, those Sundays were some of the most aggravating Sundays. I know it sounds bad, but some of the most aggravating Sundays ever. Because it's just kind of like, all right, man, all right. We would just not. How could I put it? He's muted anyway to a degree, so it's just more or less like we operating without him and he's backup, if he's actually you know what I mean Right, same thing, like if, like, one of our wives come into the room and wanted to start talking and stuff. This happens, it happens to all of us. Like I'm going to go on mute. We already know what that means. Somebody came in talking. They not going to be paying attention, they don't, you don't have them as backup. You might have to protect them.
Speaker 2:I used to do that during 2K Because they get fussed.
Speaker 1:At Call of Duty they get fussed but they're looking at a rock and you're like yo, people coming and they're just looking at a rock, like this. You're like fuck, gotta protect this dumbass. He coming in on the next lobby change or whatever like it is what it is shit, dorian 2k.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't even take a shot if I was tutoring or if I was my wife was talking to me, I wouldn't take a shot, I'd just be out there just playing defense. I wouldn't even come all the way up court yeah, it was too much concentration.
Speaker 1:Like yo, you get the. I find it even come all the way up court. Yeah, it was too much concentration. Like yo, you get the. I find it funny how you're like oh shit, I'm on mute, y'all I'm on mute, and this new Call of Duty and this new TK is supposed to be something spectacular. So we got both. I got both of those games competing with everything.
Speaker 2:That's what they were saying, that 2K was supposed to be good. I was listening to All City and he was like, if 2K does what they did in the beginning of last year, where defense mattered, you couldn't just hit any shot. You couldn't. You know, know, it was some bump stills. If you dribble too much, if you enhance that with the dribble and all the other stuff and don't touch the game, because people, because all the people who influence you to change it, because they can't score, and you don't touch it, you'll have a very competitive game where people got to learn how to play. And he was like all those people who, those dribble guys who like to do all that dribbling and everything else. He said, just like any other 2K they'll figure it out.
Speaker 1:Just like in real life, they have to figure it out. Like you know how it was when we were younger, going to the court. It was like pick this and one mixtape, motherfucker, like just doing everything. But could they really shoot? Could they really do anything outside of that? That's what they came to the court to do was just that Couldn't shoot, didn't know how to play defense, didn't know how to do anything. Same thing. So we shall see. You pre-ordered your shit, right. I pre-ordered it. Yeah, you get to play it Wednesday if you pre-order it right. You said September 4th.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's Wednesday. I think September 9th is when it, or September 6th.
Speaker 1:When it drop. Yeah, I'm probably pre-ordering today. I don't know what's that date, september 4th, right? Yeah, wednesday, I ain't gonna lie, I might call out. I might call out.
Speaker 2:Who's y'all going with man Yo, but know what?
Speaker 1:I mean, Knowing my old responsible ass, I'll probably play two hours of that shit. It probably started doing something else responsible and I'm like what's the fucking point of calling out?
Speaker 2:I got a question for you. I don't know. I don't know if I asked this question last time we talked, because I can't remember. I'm going to ask it again. I felt like I asked you, but I didn't ask you. Uh, so your mom yelled at you when you were a kid, right all the time. Do you think that affected how we respond to our wives or girlfriends that we accepted because our mom yelled at us, versus saying something back to them like no, you're not gonna speak to me this way, that we we just accept it because they're a woman that we look at them as like. Well, my mom always yelled at me that we were conditioned to just take the yelling and just man up and just deal with it.
Speaker 1:Nah, I see where you're going with that. I personally don't think it's because my mom yelled, because my stepdad yelled too. So I don't think it's because my mom yelled because my stepdad yelled too. So I don't. I don't think it's because of that.
Speaker 2:But you know what? I'm more likely to beat a nigga up because he raised his voice at you than another woman.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I wasn't also going to try to beat my mom up or my stepdad. I might have feelings towards it or whatever. That doesn't mean I don't have those feelings Like I'm not, like it's not okay, and some of the stuff that I was getting yelled at was rightfully so. I would honestly say I see what you're going with that, but I think it's, I think we're conditioned me personally, just from my experience. I think that I am conditioned for that because you always it was always pushed in front of you that, um, somehow a woman can do no wrong if she is yelling at you or something is bad. It's probably something that you did so from birth. I can almost say that it was.
Speaker 1:That has been the atmosphere, because you're the woman, the black woman was a strong black woman and this, this, and that she deals with so much and this, this and that there's a lot of ain't shit, niggas and and, uh, they're not taking care of their kids and stuff like that. That was kind of like my environment. My mom never pushed any of that, that stuff that I'm saying, but outside of my mom's house or whatever I have you. That was just kind of like the sentiment, like you don't put your hands on women. Of course you should never do that. You talk to them with kindness and respect. You should always do that.
Speaker 1:So it's like when they come out of pocket, sometimes without the right male influence, you're thinking that yo, you did something wrong. Even the phrase of like yo, no matter what, if you're arguing, apologize. Even if you are right, apologize. That it reinforces that shit. All of us have heard that shit. So it's kind of like I don't think my mom yelling at me conditioned me for that. I think the society or the world was already like that and I'm going into that shit. It's up as only up, until you start talking to older guys that fight against that shit and it works for them and they show you how to work for them because they work for their grandfather or their great-grandfather or their great-uncle. Like this this is how it's supposed to go. Stick your chest out when you saying shit. You don't stick your chest out to your mom, because that is your parent. When you get older, you start saying stuff with your chest as an adult son and shit like that.
Speaker 2:I only ask because I seen this youngin' outside and he's sitting there talking to his girlfriend and she up there calling him. You know what you're being so soft, you're being a bitch.
Speaker 1:Yo da-da-da-da, I'm hung up with a girl for telling you that no story.
Speaker 2:I mean downgrading him, I'm just like he's just sitting there eating it. In my head I'm like I wonder why. Then it hit me. I think she called him stupid. Like mind you, this is in passing. And she I'm not saying your mom ever said that, I'm just saying like mind you, this is in passing. I'm like walking to my building, yeah, and she's loud so I'm hearing her before I even get across the street to walk. Called him stupid. She didn't call him this everything under the sun. Like are you stupid? Like like how dumb you have to be there. And in my head I'm like, and I'm walking, I'm walking, I'm like, and then I had like this epiphany like wait, what if his mom, every time he did something wrong, just degraded him so badly that he's just so numb to it that he just lets his girlfriend do it, because that's just what he thinks women do so.
Speaker 1:That's different from yelling. You didn't even explain that that was verbal abuse. I can understand that Yelling is not always like what you're describing.
Speaker 2:Well, yelling's not always that.
Speaker 1:That's why I was like look at me when I got yelled at it was literally because I did something wrong and I understood what the fuck I did wrong. That's totally different. My mom was not a yell at you just because it's a type of motherfucker.
Speaker 2:But my grandmother. That's what I saw, so that you could understand what I was saying. But in the grand scheme of it, no, that's what I was having, like, yeah, man, I wonder if his mother, every time he did something wrong, came home with a bad paper Like are you going to be that damn dumb nigga.
Speaker 1:I can challenge you that. I can challenge that with experience, though, just because this is my family. My grandmother God rest her soul she was like that to two of my uncles. Actually, she was kind of just like that to everybody. She could be that way, not to my mom, but because my mom wasn't raised by her to a degree, but she would. She was very demeaning and degrading whenever she was angry or you didn't do what she wanted you to do, right.
Speaker 1:So I can say for one uncle you don't take that shit from nobody because of that when she was alive he didn't even like being around her when it came to like family functions and shit, even though he was a grown ass man. And then another uncle, he, to a degree, he kind of takes that stuff from her or he took that stuff from her. But as far as his relationships with other women, maybe he did. But I know one of my other uncle, the oldest, he did not take that shit from her. But as far as his relationships with other women, maybe he did. But I know one, my other uncle, the oldest, he did not take that shit from nobody.
Speaker 1:So I'm gonna say probably so, yeah, probably so, but that's abuse. That's abuse at that point. That's just like. That's just like someone physically putting their hands on you. You think it's okay, right? So someone verbally saying this shit you think is okay, because you start to feel like yo, well, it must be true, and this is why they're talking to me this way. I deserve this shit, I would imagine. But just yelling at me. Nah, my mom yelled, it was for a reason I'm not going to say rightfully so it wasn't demeaning, yeah, it wasn't demeaning, right.
Speaker 2:It wasn't like oh, you know what, I'm just mad, and now I'm just going to just talk shit to you. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I mean, you know it's crazy that you can go deep into the rebel with that shit. You could be like you know, like how men choose certain women and vice versa. That might be the reason why men typically choose that type of stuff, because they think that shit is love. You know what I mean? They think that's how they're used to that shit. Even though it hurts their feelings from time to time, they're used to it. They don't know what it is not to be that I don't have that. It's not my experience, but sounds like it sucks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, real nasty one in relation. See, the thing in relationships like that, like when they, when you start to be vulnerable and shit with a woman and shit like that, and she finds a way to still demean you, or like easy as easy to easier to demean you and shit like that, because she knows how to hit the buttons. That's a motherfucker. You just need to just like go cold turkey and just roll out, even if y'all living together. Leave all all your shit, take your PlayStation, leave all that shit there. Just don't go back to the house. That's not the healthiest place for you at all.
Speaker 2:I get it, me and my wife. We're not. We're good in our relationship, but we're not that old in our relationship where she's like Nick, I don't give a shit, go down there and I'm trying to get this bed to myself, type she we, we aren't there yet. Listen me.
Speaker 1:I guess we are there. My wife would just come downstairs and just be there. It's not. It's not so much of like, uh, yo, you doing something and we need to be, I need you to entertain me, type shit. Or you know, she's uh, yeah, like we, we spend enough time of actual bonding and talking throughout the day, whether it's like sending each other memes and shit. Or you know, she, she getting home and we, you know, talking about our day and decompressing and shit. So when it comes time to that, she's like all right, yeah, do your thing. Like I'm gonna go do my nails. I'm like, all right, but she'll come downstairs like, can I come? I'm like, yeah, she's up, all asleep, I'm, you know, down you know we'll do.
Speaker 2:She'll do that. If I just came home from work and she knows it's my time that I'm decompressing because, like I was telling one guy, I said it's not, it's not that I don't mind my decompression time being around her but no, I personally will mind that.
Speaker 1:So, thank goodness we come home at separate times, so I know that time when I can you know personally, and then we'll kind of do it together, if that makes any sense. Like yo, I missed you. Blah, blah, blah. How was your day, blah blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, and like I was telling her, she's like oh well, you don't have time for me. You always play that stupid game. I'm like, well, all day I have to deal with someone telling me what to do. I come home, you want my decompression time to be with you, which means that now I'm also coming home to be told what to do home, to be told what to do. I play video games so that I can have that that hour, hour and a half of not being told. Mind, you still tells you what to do.
Speaker 2:I live now, but you could do it and if you fuck up, you just do it again. Yeah, or you know, like in um, the division two, even though they give me projects I have to do, I don't have to do them unless I want to. You know I do them, but I don't have to do them in an want to. You know I do them, but I don't have to do them in an order. It's just like you know what I feel like just killing a bunch of shit and free roaming and shit.
Speaker 1:You use video games with decompression. Yeah, I can't do that.
Speaker 2:I don't have. If I don't use video games, I'll be doing this all day. I got you as soon as I get in the house, like during.
Speaker 1:COVID, you need to find another thing. I don't say you need to, besides alcohol, of course, but when you're just different, I have to decompress, but it's just not. How could I put it? You know the things I have to decompress from. I can't play video games effectively the way I want to if those things are still there. You know what I mean, cause you're in a technology industry yeah, so tech, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, going into that, like I'm like yo, I can't play video games the way I want to. So my decompression is like we sit down, maybe, maybe, sometimes pull me a drink or whatever, or just like just silence for like 10, 15 minutes. Or, you know, you kick your shoes off, you just sit there and, you know, take a deep breath, more or less, uh, low-key, not meditating, but just like unwinding and shit. And it's only after that where I could be like all right, what's my next thing to do? And that's either, you know, fuck around and prepare for the next day and, if I want to be entertained, watch TV, or, video games.
Speaker 2:Well, the other part is let me get closer to Michael Shepstead. The other part is it's the only way I can get her to not to ask me to do shit if I'm doing something, unless she really needs to do it. Oh, you just need to be on top of all that shit. Like I am, I can be on top of all of it.
Speaker 1:I should have never said that, because I know exactly what you're about to say, and it is very true it's always something to do. It's always something to do Even if you did 18 things. There's a 19 and a 20 that I need you to do.
Speaker 2:I could have taken out the trash, got the mail, unloaded the dishwasher. I could do all that.
Speaker 1:Do you mind doing this? I did my 19 for the day I'm done.
Speaker 2:It's one of those things where, because I do more physical stuff at some point, I just want to be like you know what, Even if it's 2k and I gotta do certain things in 2k, it's just I'm doing it because I want to play basketball that's the key.
Speaker 1:So I get what you're saying now, like the reason why I can't is because my shit is all mental and thinking and shit like that. I don't really want to jump right into. You know the mind games or video games or playing 2k and you know fucking with somebody or call of duty. I don't want to jump right into. You know the mind games or video games or playing 2k and you know fucking with somebody or call of duty. I don't want to jump right into that. You want the other hand. You like I've been doing physical shit, I just want to sit down. This is a good way for me to sit down and turn my fucking brain off.
Speaker 2:Right, this and this, but I need my brain to actually turn the fuck off because you know, even for for me to be in logistics and do inventory and take and do numbers all day and and count shit and lift shit, and then I come home and I do math tutoring to me, I've never once turned. I don't turn my brain on unless unless it's something very complicated. So let's say someone's like I got some calculus I I got to do, then I got to turn my brain on. Other than that, for a lot of this shit I don't turn my brain on when I'm at work. Simple volume formula what the hell am I turning my brain on for? I just need to make sure I ain't doing nothing dumb. So it's more of a. It's not that I had to turn my brain on, it's more of a now. I just want to relax, because now they got me doing shit that doesn't require me to turn my brain on. I got to turn my muscles on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I get that.
Speaker 2:And then you know, I played a video. You know, once when my wife sees me playing it, then she's like oh man, I'm not going to bother you because I know you're tutoring and it's your time to decompress. And then, once tutoring is done, as the agreement is I stopped playing video games and then, you know, the rest of my time is whatever we decide we're going to do. But I had to tell her. I was like, look you, as soon as I get home I tutor. Then you want my time that I'm done tutoring to be with you. At what point do I get time to myself? You keep telling me self-care, self-love, blah, blah, blah, but I can't do it, if you know. You know how that conversation always goes.
Speaker 1:It goes into uh well, get a better paying job, like well, yeah, my um, yeah, and I get that, and whatever, how it current. Well, however, it excuse me, however, it works is uh, as long as it works, you know what I mean as far as, like, getting your time and she getting her time and y'all getting your time together.
Speaker 2:Oh, I did go to see a SmackDown in DC, so I went to see Raw and I went to see SmackDown. So when I go to Raw right when it was my same boy he brings his home girl, right, yeah. And so I'm like, all right, you know whatever. And so I'm like, all right, you know whatever. And he's like, yeah, yeah, this is my homegirl. Yeah, she's married. That's cool. I'm not sure why you're telling me she's married, I'm married, whatever. So he explains to me why he told me it. Okay, go ahead. He explains to me why he told me it because it's his little joint. You know what I'm saying? It's his little joint.
Speaker 2:Now, mind you, he got his own situation going on. She got hers going on and she was asking me this crazy question and I call it crazy because she don't know, mrs Smith and I was like. She was like so you ain't got no evidence, or hell, no, I do. I said, man, my wife will kick my ass, her ass, and then come back with that girl and kick my ass again. Hell, no, I ain't fucking around with that woman like that. What the fuck do you think? I said that motherfucker can move a refrigerator. You think she won't put me over her head and throw me out the balcony Shit.
Speaker 1:Man, she probably put you through the wall.
Speaker 2:Hey, first she's sticking out the wall like a cartoon character or some shit I was like you know, she just she was looking at me like are you serious right now. I said in all fairness, I mean I got married to not do that. Like what, why get married to do the same?
Speaker 1:shit like it's not only that, definitely that that's number one, but number two. Like I was talking to my homeboy the other day, I was like who the fuck got time for all that shit? Exactly, people want time and energy and shit like that. You willing to try to do that for two Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I mean in my head.
Speaker 1:Where's your two-day time at?
Speaker 2:In my head. It's not like a chick doing that with a side dude, because side dudes got shit they want to do, yeah, and literally you just slide in through when they're available, Right man?
Speaker 1:Women. They want to be in relationships.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, Even the ones that even the ones that be like oh well, you know I'm, you know, I know he's married, blah, blah blah.
Speaker 1:They still say they're in a relationship and then, not only that, whenever they feel like they need to, they will ruin your shit just because they didn't got shit to lose, because you should have been in their head like oh no, you ain't got to leave her, but you should have been left her. It always turns to that from my experience I got to leave her, but you should have been left her. It always turns to that From my experience.
Speaker 2:I ain't really you know, I had to tell her, I had to tell that chick. I was like, as much as y'all keep saying, y'all the better cheaters, I can guarantee you, if women played their roles, men would never get caught unless they just't, unless they just were just sloppy, no.
Speaker 1:So here's the thing they're the better, they're the better ones because of us, right, that makes any sense. It's not the fact that you're not playing a role, it's the fact that what they say and what they, we don't require two different things. You literally have to treat that motherfucker like your girl. There is no, you're better off dealing with a prostitute. If you think like I'm just coming here for like some, some pussy or whatever have you, we're dealing with only chicks, fine, only only chicks, only fans. Chick like, that's the only way that that works. So it only works because we, at some point, the man will be like fuck this, I just, I just want to do this. And she's going to be like no.
Speaker 2:And then it starts getting sloppy or whatever. And then the women that do cheat, they find dudes that's like, oh all right. Well, oh, you with your husband, you can pull up to the bar with your husband, and that nigga won't make a scene, he might even leave. Oh, hey, what's going on? Hey, what's going on? Fam, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, she be here all the time with us, man.
Speaker 1:We took good care of her. Don't even talk to her, Just like you know, don't blow her, oh dude, I've seen Nigga.
Speaker 2:I've seen it all. I've seen it all. I've seen we be there and they know, and they, they play a role. Oh hey, what's going on. Hey, oh hey, what's going on. Whatever your name is, oh hey, what's going on. Hey, oh, that's your husband. Hey, yo, she talks about you, all the time like just that's just scary but but guys play their role.
Speaker 1:It is one of those things where unless you're hating that bitch of a man. There's a lot of them.
Speaker 2:But you know what it is and I think where men mess up at is and I ain't going to say that's where they mess up at they tell them the truth. A lot of men tell women up front what it is.
Speaker 1:Because the women think they can change the situation or they're going to be the one. And then when he says you ain't the one, that's when they are willing to blow up your spot and these ain't doing that unless you, unless you, unless you burnt them.
Speaker 2:But if you told a dude like all right, look, I'm about to work this out with my husband, hey, uncle, do your thing. Do your thing, because men, men, are simple people. You know, if you decide dude and I'm not saying this from experience, but I'm going to say it because I know how it is if you decide dude, you ain't got to have no conversations with her, you ain't got to take her out nowhere, really, especially if you her side dude you really ain't got to do nothing, you just come through, you do what you want, you have fun.
Speaker 2:You roll out that nigga got to go over there and take care of all that other stories and shit.
Speaker 1:That's not true. That's not true.
Speaker 2:You'd hear a complaint about her husband or her boyfriend. That's about it.
Speaker 1:Or and this is from experience as a bachelor, bachelor was not married. Was you? You, that side, do so good and you so much of a catch that they, like you, know what I'm in a relationship with you. He ain't getting no more sex from me. This is now. I'm just kind of around so I figure out what I want to do and now she starts treating you like her boyfriend. But it happens. I'm saying it happens. We don't do that, right, that is not what we're supposed to do, but it happens. And sometimes as a man which that is not what we're supposed to do, but it happens. And sometimes as a man, which I have done, I have entertained it because the shit has been so bomb, so I might entertain it for like a month or two and after a while I'm just like you know what? I don't think I can do this.
Speaker 2:Where's your relationship insurance man?
Speaker 1:You've seen the meme where he's like oh yeah, you're the one he signed up for this one. You know what you want to get upgraded.
Speaker 2:Let's look at your whole facts. Did you smash one of the homies?
Speaker 1:Yes, sorry, you did not qualify, yeah yeah, yeah, when I say entertain it, I don't think she my girl, she thinks I'm her man. That's what I mean. But it's likeawty you could never be because you are with someone else. Remember, I told you that shit happened to me when I was at kfc. I'm like yo, I was working in parts. I was like yo, you have a boyfriend oh no, we weren't.
Speaker 2:I wasn't doing nothing like that. Because if if she says he had a boyfriend but she just wanted to crank, I'd crank it. That's what I was doing, that's what I'm saying. Oh well, you know, I'm thinking about leaving him because I like you more. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up, hold up, hold up. We ain't doing that. I ain't even saying that. This is fine where it is. Well, y'all, you don't want to be with me. I'm not good enough for you. I ain't saying that. But if you're going to cheat on him with me, what would I expect from you going forward when you get bored with me? I mean, I'm not saying that.
Speaker 2:That's why you should never have a side. I would never. I wouldn't get bored of you. I said you say that because you ain't got to deal with me. You deal with me when you want to, not because you have to. Well, fine, if I'm not going to be with you, fuck you. Don't call me no more.
Speaker 1:She came up with her own reason. He didn't think I was good enough for him. I was like no, no, no, no, your whole activities. And I'll remind you, I like those whole activities, but they are whole activities because I want you to be my whole. It is not relationship activities.
Speaker 2:Once you tell me that I'm the side dude, we ain't being together. I don't care how good you suck my dick or how good you fuck me, it's exactly where it's going to stay, even if you're like, oh yeah, we broke up. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Why aren't y'all getting back together, like what's going on?
Speaker 1:You need to talk about it. I ain't even asking that.
Speaker 2:No, you got to ask those questions to the side dude because you don't want her to be trying to replace you as the main dude, because now that comes with upgrading the policy. Now you got to check the whole facts again Like, hold on, did you do this? Did you do this? I don't know, let me Nah, but once you own the, once you own the I'm the side nigga package, that's the package you're stuck with. There's no, there's no upgrade in that package so could the side girl?
Speaker 1:I ain't never had a side girl, my main girl either. Could your side girl like she don't know that you doing that or whatever, have you okay?
Speaker 2:so there's some ways to upgrade that policy. If you weren't up front to begin with, so let's say you were up front, like, look, I got what I got. A situation anyway, blase, blase. That can't be upgraded, that's where it is. If you don't, and you've been just that good and you up and just leave whoever you're with to be like, look, while me and you be together, you can upgrade that package there. Because she ain't know.
Speaker 2:But any self respecting man or woman, if they know they are the side person and the person who they've been messing around with that in a relationship says that I want to be with you, should already know. Say no, don't. Say yes, don't say let's think about it. I would never discourage anyone from to keep fucking them. But once they say let's be together, nah, because you just for having a whole relationship, you were just fucking me all this time and sucking my dick or whatever, and going back and kissing your man. I don't want to be that nigga, so no ladies and gentlemen, uh advice from uncle d law yeah, uncle d d law, d-law.
Speaker 1:I have a question for you how do you and your household, or you and your wife, handle laundry?
Speaker 2:You mean me and my wife, or me, the wife and the kid, you and your wife. We got our own shit. We wash our own clothes. I have two baskets, one for one, my whites, one for my colors. She has just one basket and she separates her whites and her colors. I ain't got time to be sitting there fighting through my clothes trying to separate my whites and colors. So I throw my whites in one, my colors in the other and I'll separate the colors as I go. But if I had, because she doesn't have a, I go. But if I had, cause she doesn't have a lot of whites. So if I'm about to wash she'll ask can she put her whites in my whites? And then that's a whole nother thing. But in essence, we all wash our own clothes, gotcha For the most part.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't need whites either, because I didn't want to be separating shit. I got socks, white socks, or whatever.
Speaker 2:All it is is tank tops and socks. Really, when we got together and I first moved in with her, instead of me going home and getting new clothes, I just kept buying more underclothes. So after a week passed, I buy some more. After another week passed, I buy some more.
Speaker 2:So now I ended up with a month's worth of underclothes and this is like shit, right yeah so it it worked out in the long run that I don't have to wash clothes often, but now I have all these underclothes. So she'd be like, oh, I'm taking. I'd be like, is that my tank top? She'd be like yeah, you have like 51 of them. I'm like what you think she's going to take it and say nothing yeah, I'm taking this one, this one and this one you're going to take three.
Speaker 1:She't say nothing. Yeah, I'm taking this one, this one and this one, you're going to take three. She's like do I gotta explain myself to you?
Speaker 2:that's pretty much where it went.
Speaker 1:I was like, wait, you just want to take with yeah my wife, we, we handle uh, laundry, similar uh, she washes her clothes, she washes. She washes her own clothes, I wash, wash mine because her laundry cycle, or sometimes like when she I don't say when I task her, but when she okay. So the dynamic of our situation is she says she'll handle all the chores and stuff like that, because I paid a mortgage. That's what she said. However, I can tell you that didn't happen. I mean, I handed a mortgage. That's all I'm going to say on here.
Speaker 2:I can tell you the other half of that situation ain't happening.
Speaker 1:It happens, it just you know it doesn't happen properly, not all the time. But what I'm saying is we kind of handle our shit the same way. We kind of handle our shit the same way Only because, like I said, the prompt shit, because sometimes I wash clothes, shit, wash clothes, forget to put them shits in the dry. I'm like I wear my jeans and I'm like these bitches still wet and they stink and now I gotta wash them again. You know what I mean. Like that's like the thing, right. So the promptness and shit like that, that's always kind of been like hit and miss.
Speaker 1:So the one thing I would do on my own is like the washcloths and towels and shit, cause it'd be times when we'll run through a whole bunch of you know wash garments and shit like that. I'm like, oh shit, it's the last towel. I want to fuck. All the time Fuckers be downstairs in the basement. So I got all over that bitch and I'm like you know, that's just. Oh, that's that's walking out every day. Fuck yeah, why not live like that? You say we were rich. No, we're not rich. We got a bunch of tiles. The same situation with uh, you are your undergarments and shit like that.
Speaker 1:We just got like a bunch no, no bullshit. We just got a bunch of tiles and washcloths so we can kind of do that. So it's kind of like all right, there's usually a separate load for towels and washcloths and shit.
Speaker 2:I mean that's not a bad idea if we had enough. We ain't got enough towels and washcloths for that. Like literally, I would have to go out and buy a towel every paycheck just to have enough.
Speaker 1:That all right, here's 14 towels, yeah that's more than every week and you probably got like more than that man that because you got. Uh, she moved in with her shit. I still had my shit. So it's just kind of like boom, an abundance of towels and shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, see when I moved in with my shit. It wasn't a lot of shit, it was. When it goes down to, the only thing that I think that I came with when we got to the old place to come into here was the sofa I'm sitting on, the laptop, I'm talking on my clothes and the dresser and the TVs that's it Like. Because she had like smaller TVs that she had in the house, right, and I was the one that went out and got the 55 and the 70 inch, so I got the bigger TV, I brought the bigger TV. So, because she was like, yeah, you know, if we ever separate, you can have your TV, I said what am I going to do with them? At this point, you might as well take them with you, especially if you can go live somewhere. You might as well take the damn TVs with you, right?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:The only reason I asked that is oh man, what am I?
Speaker 1:job, saying You're saying bring your bitch ass in. Nah, I ain't. No, bring my ass in. You know how you get added in the Outlook email and it shows I'm like yo, what the fuck? Oh, this is something else. Yeah, so the only reason why I asked that because I was on like that's how we handle our shit or whatever, like minus the promptness and stuff like that we get the shit done. But that's one thing I'll take on on myself, because I'm like yo, we need some tiles or we run a skimp on the shit. But, like I said, the only reason why I asked that I was on Reddit and this person was asking within the asshole for asking their partner to help with household chores at their place, even though he, uh, he has his own apartment. So, on my head, I'm like you trying to work this motherfucker twice. And then, when I started reading, well, I read part of it, but you'll get why I'm saying like yo, maybe uncle D law needs to give some words of encouragement and advice to both parties here. Let's see what your advice is after hearing this. Damn, I didn't know she was that old. That's how you start the host.
Speaker 1:How do you mean to say that I am a 42-year-old female and have been together with my partner, a 36 year old male, for over a year and the relationship has been pretty drama free so far. For the past six months he has been spending roughly six or seven six out of seven days at my place with me and my kiddo Six months, which is weird from a previous relationship, I think I'll say. Which is weird from a previous relationship, I'm going to say which is weird, shout out to y'all. We mostly hang out here because I have to be here, I have to be there for the kiddo and because he has roommates and I don't, to be clear, I love having him around.
Speaker 1:A few months after he started spending so much time here, I asked him to start helping with the household chores, the only ones which he contributes to cleaning and garbage or from which he benefits, from laundry and cooking and use of my car. I hey, I know, I know I do the great majority of all this, the work associated with my son, as well as the majority overall in household. Really, I only ask that he does the garbage, helps with the car, since he uses it, and helps with occasional deep cleaning. He agreed initially but asked me to ask him directly to do the things which I do. I even started making lists. However, he often forgets or puts them all so long that I end up doing it myself. His argument for not doing the chores is that he always has to maintain his apartment and also is making a sacrifice by not being at his place where he can pursue his hobbies. So his contribution, in effect, is that he is here. Just to be clear, we both work full time, work from home, split mutual costs evenly. Money is not the issue.
Speaker 1:Things blew up yesterday after I had a hard day at work with the kiddo. Hard day at work and with the kiddo he is. He is in the process of changing jobs and doesn't have much to do at work, so he has been gaming six to eight hours a day this week. I found it really frustrating that I was struggling to get the laundry and cooking done in between juggling the kid and work. He was gaming on the couch all day. He got angry when I brought it up.
Speaker 1:I could have been a little less snarky and said and said that I don't acknowledge the sacrifice he is making by being at my place, that the benefit he gets from the, that the benefit he gets from my work is negligible I can never say that right. Negligible fucking retainers, since I have to do laundry and cook for myself and my son, even if he wasn't here, since the problem we have are. Since the problem we are having are roommate problems and not romantic problems. I suggest that we go back to dating so that we can each have our own space and can pursue this hop and so he can pursue his hobbies at his place. He got really angry and accused me of trying to end the relationship. So am I the asshole? And I'm talking with a list because of these Invisaligns. It has been very, very hard to read with these shits in my mouth. Pause.
Speaker 2:First question is you've seen the panel with the people on the meme how they answer these questions?
Speaker 1:Nah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Are they black or white? They sound white as shit.
Speaker 1:I ain't gonna lie. Man 42 and having a six month year old yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 2:that's black white she said snarky white, but we'll assume that we don't know the color and they're just people. Yeah, number one, the guy named Ron, what? That ain't his damn kid.
Speaker 1:Okay, she didn't ask him for help with the kid, though.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no. She had a hard day at work and with the kiddo and asked for help.
Speaker 1:She didn't specify what the help was with she said she only wants him to help with the garbage and with the car and things he benefits from, which is the car and laundry and dishes and shit.
Speaker 2:That's what she said, I think she should be telling him well, look, you ain't going to do the laundry, you need a trash bag to take your clothes back to your house and go wash them. Motherfuckers number two, he got his own spot to do the laundry. You need a trash bag to take your clothes back to your house and go wash them, motherfuckers.
Speaker 2:Number two he got his own spot With roommates at 36 years old, which means he's still got his own spot that he's paying for. So, the way I see it, limit your time. Limit his time being there. I get why you want him there and she didn't say it. Limit his time being there. I get why you want him there and she didn't say it, but really she wanted him there to have a man in the house.
Speaker 1:That's what that boiled down to I mean, they're together, it's not because they wanted a man in the house.
Speaker 2:You can be together and live separately.
Speaker 1:That's what she's proposing.
Speaker 2:now, though, that's what she's proposing now, because she says she can do bad all by herself now.
Speaker 1:Nah, that's not how I'm seeing it. That's not how I'm seeing it. Wes is seeing it. As this motherfucker is taking the situation for granted, all you have to do is fucking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's freeloading the shit.
Speaker 1:He's freeloading that nigga. I ain't saying that he's not I ain't saying that he not.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that he ain't freeloading. I ain't saying that he taking advantage of the situation. I ain't saying that he not expecting her to do all that stuff, because in his head he's like bitch. This is your house, Right? This is your house, you and we don't know the dynamic of what was said to get them to move it, to get him to move in, because it wasn't her moving in with him.
Speaker 1:It was him moving in with her. So she might say, well, why don't you? Just because she had a car?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's some. That's some typical freeload. Nice motherfucker. Guess what he got about? 15 roommates one of them niggas can get him a ride. 11. Use the car she.
Speaker 1:Neither one of them probably have a car what eric about?
Speaker 2:do you say you better call a time wrong?
Speaker 1:yo when I Yo, when I was reading this shit, I'm just like so all this motherfucker got to do is help his woman out and he's like nah.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that he's wrong, but I'm also not saying he's right, like if she says, hey, do you mind taking out the trash? All right, cool, that's fine Because you're staying there or because she asked. But that's fine because you're staying there or because she asked. But if you start saying this is your chore and it's not my house, that's a little different.
Speaker 1:I'll do it because you asked me to do it, but if I'm not there, so let's say how much, how immature you got to be because I heard the word chore. That's just like us telling women like yo just because you heard the word no don't mean you got to throw a bitch fit.
Speaker 2:Well, when you hear the word chore, I'm putting it this way when you hear the word chore and in his case, when he heard chore in his head he's like bitch, I don't live here.
Speaker 1:He agreed.
Speaker 2:He agreed. He agreed. But in his head he said bitch, I don't live here, I always go back to my own spot. It's one thing, me and my wife, we live, we're here together. So when we say chores, it's because we both know we have nowhere else to go. This is the house.
Speaker 1:I don't understand how y'all get it that way.
Speaker 2:When you, when you're dating especially like, let's say, he was only spending two, three days over there she says well, I want you to be responsible for the garbage. She's going to look at her like bitch, I'm not even here that much. This garbage is you and your child. You need to start raising, you need to start. But I get what you're saying, but how you know.
Speaker 2:Hey, do you mind taking this trash out for me? It's a way you gotta word it to some guys. You can't, you can't say, hey, can you help out with the choice? Because now it sounds like you're being to him. He probably thinking like, oh, now she's being neat and that's to do this. She want me to do that. All you have, all she really had to do in the situation. Hey, I just had a rough day. Do you mind cooking? He'd be like, yeah, I got it. I got it. Hey, you know what? Do you mind taking that trash out? I normally would, but like I'm just really it's a way to say it for them not to feel like they're being told or chore to do it In this article.
Speaker 1:He said can you just tell me, rather than get me Remember she, he said this, this is all on him. He said yo just tell me. He said that's what she said. He said so just tell me. My, my whole thing is I hear what you're saying and I kind of agree with that, but this man is 36 years old. That whole, like you need to say it to me a certain type of way, is just like your argument, is kind of like I get it. However, with this guy, he's still a toddler.
Speaker 2:Come on, just say it like it is he's still a toddler that's what that shit sound like.
Speaker 1:Because I'm like yo, that's the easy shit. Yo, you cook, I'll wash the dishes, like it ain't nothing. To come over to the house like, oh you see, the trash is full, you take it out, you do this, you do that, this, this, and that You're there anyway. I used to do that shit in my wife't doing it and it was nothing to me, because it's kind of like yo, this is what you're going to get. A motherfucker immature and I'm not bagging on dudes, I'm not one of those things A motherfucker immature Ain't no way.
Speaker 2:Well, no, he's definitely immature. I mean because, even like I mean, mind you, when me and my wife got together, her son was 13. So he took out the damn trash. Yeah, I mean we take care of everything else. I, I, we, me and her do the cat litter, me and her do the dishwasher, me and her do the cat food, and I clean out the cat's water bowl, I change the air filters, like we do everything else in here to make this comfortable, such as pain, to make sure you can get online and cuss everybody out because you mad that they so. Like nigga, you get your mosaic tins, or why the hell you still online, acting like you, a toddler like nigga, grow the fuck up. You know what I'm saying. At some point, you know, mind you, when he's gone, then it's gonna fall down to he. Look, it's your. Uh, fall down to Elo, it's your. Take out this trash, nigga.
Speaker 1:And that's how I always seen it. When it came to stuff like that, like y'all cohabitating yeah, this is a you know, it's for me it's easy to take care of. How can you put it? Spaces that we share together, like a kitchen or bathroom or whatever, whatever, whatever Cause, neither one of us wants that shit to be dirty, so if it's something that's a little messed up, you clean it or you clean up after yourself. Now I was expecting to see some shit like like most men probably wouldn't do, like yo, I need you to go get my son's this, this, and that I need you to go get my sons this, this, and that I need you to go get this for me, like her personal stuff and it's all them living together stuff. So it's kind of like I understand that I'm not gonna say that.
Speaker 2:That's all it is.
Speaker 1:It's six days out of the let's just say hypothetically, all the shit is true I'm not saying that none of this stuff is true.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying that it's in my head. What I, what I've always seen women do, is they just point out what they think they're asking you, but not what they really have been asking you. So it's just like oh well, you know, I've only asked you to do stuff around the house, but really you didn't ask me to do this, this, this, this, pick up this, you might. You're leaving out all the stuff that you're like wait a minute, this is your personal shit. So I'm not saying that what she's saying is wrong or that she's not telling the truth. I need the whole story. I need his side.
Speaker 1:You need his side. She just wants to know if she's an asshole. You don't need his side.
Speaker 2:Is she an asshole? I don't think so. Am I? I don't think so. I mean, you act or something. You, you're not living together but you're living together.
Speaker 1:It's also her spot, Like if you had your cousin over or your homeboy over, you would expect him to clean the bathroom. What's the difference? You ain't washing his drawers.
Speaker 2:But is she washing his clothes?
Speaker 1:Yeah, she says she is, she's washing his clothes. I'm pretty sure they're putting the laundry together, unlike how we do laundry. They're putting the laundry together on like how we do it. They're putting the laundry together so he, he's just benefiting. Yeah, you get what I'm saying now.
Speaker 2:I get what you're saying. You didn't preload us, man. It's time for you to leave that nigga. That's what I was going to say or tell him look, if you ain't help me money through Friday, you should only be here Saturday and Sunday, when I need you here, Very true.
Speaker 1:Well, not even when I need. Well, I mean, I'm not saying that you need but you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:It's quietly saying when I need you here because I need to get fucked.
Speaker 1:You're not pulling that shit on a 42 year old woman. Apparently here because I need to get fucked. You're not pulling that shit on a 42 year old woman. Apparently he did. No, he tried. He's trying because he hear what you just tried in the relationship. It's just kind of like motherfucker, like you're not doing what I need you to do.
Speaker 2:But see, this also falls in that category because, think about it, you're a 42 year old with a six month year old and single. Yeah, what were you doing in your 20s?
Speaker 1:what were you doing in your early 30s? I hear where you're going. For the sake of this, for the sake of this. It sounds like.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to be like Kevin Samuels. Yeah, I got you. I'm not trying to be like Kevin Samuels, but I'm just saying you're, you're 42, you're trying to find a mate and now you're mad at the pool that's there. When you had your pickings of the pool when you were younger, but you thought you were too young to get goddamn married. Now you got a six month old-old. You're 42, now looking at this window pool and all the good niggas are gone because they got married to who they wanted to get married to. You can't complain about the pickings.
Speaker 2:She ain't complaining about the pickings, yeah yeah, she ain't complaining about the pickings.
Speaker 1:She's just like yo, this motherfucker, she's doing something about it, so she's not complaining.
Speaker 2:she's saying yo stay at your fucking house she's doing something about it and that's something that most of them they'd be like oh no, I got it. She'll just complain about it, she'll find somebody. The difference between what Kevin Sands would say and what I would say is, even though you might have waited and all the good prospects are gone, or ones you thought you should have got because you thought you were young or whatever you're going to find somebody. It might not be the most ideal nigga, but you'll find somebody who checks your boxes off and then she's like okay, I'm content and happy with this person. You're going to find it, no matter what age you are, but I've seen it happen. I've seen it happen in 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s. Matter of fact, when my boy came back from texas, he was going to somebody's wedding.
Speaker 1:He said he's 65 years old, just found his love so you'll find it my homeboy, his uh grandmother passed like a year ago uh, rp, her husband, his granddad, had another chick lined up already, so he was like his aunt's. When his mom was getting mad, he was like yo is, and he was like till death, do you part? Like yeah, obviously granddad honored that and then this is what it is right, he went on.
Speaker 2:he went on the old peoplecom I don't know. She might have been in the cut you think, oh, you think it was like uh, when, um, I won't say her name because I'm not going to put out, I'm going to tell you like this, older folks, at a certain age they might be married to somebody right and they might quote, unquote, fancy someone else.
Speaker 1:They would never do anything. They'll just keep in contact and how you doing, mrs Jones, and make sure Mrs Jones got what you need and this, this and that. See, I've heard worse. I've heard worse too double families.
Speaker 2:I've heard like someone's you know somebody's spouse be dying of cancer and they already on it. Like I was dating this one chick and her mom was dying and she was like I think my dad's like shit and her mom was dying and she was like I think my dad's like messing with somebody else because I found these condoms in his drawer and I'm like why are you going through his shit exactly? I was like.
Speaker 2:I was like why, are you going through his shit? I just kind of stumbled no-transcript, mind you, I'm like 20-something years old. She's 20-something years old. Why the hell you going? What do you need in they room that you can't knock on they door and ask them for it? And if they ain't there, wait for them to get there? And I said, eventually the mom passed. It was sad Me and her weren't together at that point, but she was like yeah, my mom passed, blah, blah, blah, and dad moved on.
Speaker 2:So maybe her suspicions were right. But I mean, I've seen. I mean I'm not saying he was out there fucking something else, maybe he was just really just getting prepared. But I've seen chicks who's you know? Oh, he died of cancer, but I'm about to get piped down by this dude and then they die. And then all of a sudden she done moved on, like a week later to another nigga that got bred. You know what I'm saying? Like it's just one of them things where it's just like people would want to do it with you, like, and I was telling my wife I said happened to you, I ain't about to be out here looking for nothing else. I said nine times and this is so death to his part. So if you're going, I'm going to coming with you. Yeah, she was like you. Better not kiss. I ain't saying I'm gonna kill myself, but you, this is it, yeah, this is it this. There ain't nothing after this.
Speaker 1:That's what I've said, the same thing. But, um, I was very, very, uh, okay, let me say this one part, that whole like yo, now she with another dude with bread, like that's kind of how it had to be back in the day, because it was kind of like yo, someone needed to take care of you so you had. When that happened, you had to put yourself out there and suitors were coming around the corner. Like yo, mr jones did, so you know I can take care of you.
Speaker 2:Had he made sure Mays, or something like that I can imagine the amount of people, the amount of guys who are just waiting for me to fuck up or whatever. That's not what I was saying. I'll tell you. I'll be telling my wife because she cut her hair off so she got the little short cut. I'm going to tell you like this we're going to stop going out here looking all goddamn sexy, because if I'm looking at you like this, I can imagine how nigga look. Yo get your ass in the gym.
Speaker 1:I'm in the gym. Return the favor, Return the no. We're not returning the Mac. I say return the favor.
Speaker 2:I have her thinking like who these bitches think they are looking at my Mac oh, you know, I've been walking around with a beer belly, but I hear what's up, babe, what's up?
Speaker 1:yeah, you heard of her, of a keg yo yo, I forgot what I was about to say. Fuck, all I'm saying is yeah, I told my wife the same thing like yo, that's it but also was truthful and was like I don't think I'll ever get married. I'll be fucking around a lot, it's gonna take me some time to fuck around a lot, but, nah, my marriage to you was that's it, that's. I don't want to be married to nobody else but you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't even know if I mean it depends. It depends on when it happened okay, what happened to me?
Speaker 1:it's just kind of like just like homegirl, got that shitty ass 36 year old. You don't think. You don't think as you get older, as a man, it's going to be.
Speaker 2:Even you think it's going to be better no, because I've seen the single ones who are older, who either they they got like three kids, they ain't never been married, they been married. They out here in these streets just looking to have fun. I'm like, and he's like, well, you know, maybe that might be your speed note because, at the end of the day, if all it is that you out here in the street for real, what makes you think you got time for me? You know what I'm saying. If, if, if I was to become a widow, a widower, if I was to become a widow and a widower and I was like, alright, fine, I'm going to get out there and kind of see what happens and I meet a jank, we hit it off or whatever, and it always turns into I'm busy, I'm busy, I'm busy.
Speaker 2:I ain't got time, I ain't got but so much more life ahead of me, I get it. You got other niggas that you letting hit that jank because you got all this energy. But if you ain't got but so much more life ahead of me, I get it. You got other niggas that you letting hit that jank because you got all this energy. But if you ain't, you know, if you ain't trying to rock with me. You ain't trying to rock with me. I ain't about to sit around like I was in my 20s. Cool, cool, cool. Hit me when you free, not at that age. You either here or you're not here, right? Oh, I'm busy. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. And then if I go out and you're with another dude, it's like all right.
Speaker 1:I see what it is and that's exactly why I say I'll be out there. But I ain't taking nothing serious Like you have to be a heck of a person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wouldn't take it serious. I mean because even with that I've been on the other end of that where someone's like oh yeah, now I'm busy, I'm going to bed and I go out and they there with another nigga.
Speaker 1:I'm like Listen, my homeboy going through stupid shit like that now, and he's one of the homeboys I told you halfway out there. He's going through stupid shit like that right now and he's 37.
Speaker 2:So it's just kind of like I told you when the chick called me and was talking about something she's going to be tired at 9 o'clock and it was 12pm. I'm like what, you're going to be tired.
Speaker 1:And this is why we are the best at what we do For stupid shit like that. It's just like come on, man. It's like come on, you think I'm all the way retarded, like we know we can't say stuff like that to y'all, but you think you gonna say that to me? I'm gonna be like you know what?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's around the time, people really, because I think what threw me off was she said she has Sunday classes. I'm like you got a Sunday class. I said where she's like oh, is that PG? I was like I ain't never seen. I've seen Saturday classes Saturday.
Speaker 1:I think I've seen one. I think I've seen one Sunday class.
Speaker 2:I think the Saturday class I had was from 9 to 12. Yeah, something like that. It was like a three hour class, like nine to twelve, and I think I've seen one sunday class in my whole life at pg and it was like every other whatever. It was like a hybrid class, I'm like. I was like in my head because when I was talking to to the homie, our mutual, mutual homie, I was like I said this is, this is the best thing I'm done. She really thinks I'm done with shit.
Speaker 2:I said look, and you know how I put how I told him. I said I can guarantee you that, dude, you said she met before I showed up to the bar that night, that she got the number. I probably said he wanted to do all this other stuff with her. Blah, zay, blah, blah, blah. So when she had booked a date with me, he said well, look, why don't you just come hang out with me? She just wanted to cancel with me. I said I can guarantee you.
Speaker 2:I said ask your shorty, he comes back. He's like yo, you hit that shit right on the nose. I said nigga, I've been in this game too damn long to fall for dumb shit like that. Like, come on, yeah, like, come on. She's like. He's like well, then he's like. She said well, how did you know? I said he was like well, he just knew. So then. So then, guess where? I get a phone call from the chick oh, oh, oh, hey, yeah, I heard that you thought I was with somebody else, but no, I wasn't with nobody else. I said. That's why I said look, you ain't gotta lie to me about shit. Look, we ain't dating. We ain't dating, we ain't in a relationship. So if you wanna do what you do, you do what you do. Just be up front, hey. Hey, look, I ain't gonna hold you.
Speaker 1:I'm about to go out with somebody else no, I just say you busy, you going out.
Speaker 2:I ain't tripping and I probably I didn't fuck it up. I probably didn't fuck it up, but I didn't fuck it up. I was like cause no matter what, even though you canceled me, I still found something else to do.
Speaker 1:That's what you fucked up, but I already know you did it, because that was. That was the G rated version. Yeah, I know, but see, here's the thing, and I was telling my homeboys. I was like yo, I understand you've been out of the game for a while we both have. I was like, but you need to understand they just want you to say nice things, they want you to sugarcoat everything and they want to feel good about the fuckery that they feel, yeah, I know, and that's how he is too, because he's too old for that shit.
Speaker 1:I'm too old for that shit. That's what I'm getting at. So it's kind of like, yeah, you fucked it up by saying the truth, but if you just would have said you know it is what it is and left it open, ended, you know how that shit go, but I got time for that, I get it, I get it, I get it. Closing remarks for Shorty she's not the asshole.
Speaker 2:Closing remarks for Shorty you are not the asshole. You're definitely not Now. Are you late in the game to be trying to find a good suitor? Yes, but you're not the asshole for asking him that to be here.
Speaker 1:She might be divorced man.
Speaker 2:She might be. My thing is you got a six-month-old. Who was you with the last year and a half with cause? That ain't his. Supposedly that was her husband, probably another ancient nigga that she was asking to do the same shit that got her pregnant she not the asshole? She not the asshole?
Speaker 1:normally I would say you just start on the bare minimum of like cleaning up after yourself. It ain't really that hard. That's weird to me for you to be 36 years old. I'm expecting 26 or 20, you know, 36. You still ain't figured that shit out. Some of something he gotta clean up. He gotta take care of his apartment as well. It's like yo, if you got roommates, it's just your room and everybody collectively should be contributing to cleaning the house or wherever the fuck you at.
Speaker 1:So I don't really understand that. But on that note, everybody stop dealing with worthless motherfuckers. You know what I mean Pretty much, there's a lot of people that don't deserve your time, your energy. They don't deserve to be in the same space as you if they're not taking out the trash, especially when they make it.
Speaker 2:And if you're going to deal with an ancient motherfucker, you might as well just get a cat. They'll ignore you just the same way.
Speaker 1:Idiot motherfuckers, ever man.
Speaker 2:They'll ignore you the same way a regular nigga would just with. That's not my character.
Speaker 1:You the same way, a regular nigga would just quit it, doesn't? Take my cat to be just annoyed to fuck out you because she want attention.
Speaker 2:My cat's been a little needy recently, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Because y'all left and you're like, please don't ever fucking leave here again.
Speaker 2:I mean, like you know, what else am I going to ignore? I know I feed him the most. So anytime I'm like around, he just follows me. I pick him up, I walk around the house. He'll just vibrate whatever he be doing, I'm just like whatever he likes you. Right now it's his nap time.
Speaker 1:She left, she gone. She heard my wife wake up. She's like I'm out of here.
Speaker 2:That's how Leo is with my wife. He hear me come in. He come running downstairs to see me. He stretch and I pick him up. I talk to him like hey, how you doing. He just start vibrating. Oh, okay, must have been a good day. Where's mama?
Speaker 1:I was just talks all the time.
Speaker 2:I always don't talk. I always don to talk. I was going to talk at all. If he talk, it's because you bobbing him, or if it's late at night and it's dark and he don't know. If we did Like, I'll go downstairs, what would you need? He looked and I'm like come on, so I'll pick him up and bring upstairs, so that way he knows we upstairs. I'm like come on, so I pick him up and bring him upstairs, so that way he knows we upstairs. I'm like, nigga, you done rubbed your glands on us already.
Speaker 1:Like you know who he is? Nah, whoever it was, he woke up and nobody was there. So he's like a toddler, just like fuck everybody go. Did they leave? I was like just go upstairs and check.
Speaker 2:Nah, that nigga, he stay, he stay Bothering somebody. I think he's not he over there laying down in the sun just chilling. Yeah, he's just stretched out in the sun just having a good old life, see if?
Speaker 1:you need an ancient ass motherfucker. Get a cat On that note. Get a cat, get a cat. Get your breakfast on and in.