According To Wes
Finding the humor in everyday life and trying to understand what that means to me.
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According To Wes
New Year, Same Money Issues
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What really happens when you mix gambling winnings with personal spending? Balancing the love we have for our wives and our check books, nothing has changed on our end. Happy New Year!
New Year, Same Money Issues
WesI don't let her know when I get angry . We talked about this before . If I hit parlays , those parlays is my money . If I get some extra money , that's why I'm on the boat as long as I handle what I'm supposed to handle . Any extra money I come into is Wesley's money and I hide my purchases Like I'm not going through that part . Hey , everybody , welcome back to another episode another year before the West podcast . As always , we got D-Law you got .
WesI just get a fish having a coffee fish you got D-Law , the devil's son-in-law , in the building .
DeLawI'm not sick and shutting , like my wife was saying I am . I'm probably just sick , but I'm not going to be shutting .
WesYou got me Wes . Whenever I'm sick , I'm dying . Yep , that's how I be . I be so miserable , I just want to stay in the house .
DeLawI don't want to fuck with nobody . Hey look , we've been on a boat , we've been on a little boat tour . We walked through Times Square , we walked through everything , central Park , and she's like we don't have to do this . And no , I ain't no sucker , we gonna do this or I will be really hurt and try it . I don't think I was going to die trying , but she was like you said , you can do it . Come on , let's go . All right , come on , let's go .
WesUsually when it comes to that , whenever I'm on a trip , she don't want to get sick and I'd be mad because it's usually a trip that I ain't even going on in the first place or someplace that she wanted to go . So I'm stuck wherever she's at sick , whether it's a hotel room , fucking cabin or you know what I mean Boat , the room on the boat and shit because she's sick and I don't want to do none of the shit outside of the fucking place anyway . So it's just like damn . I wish I had my PlayStation .
DeLawWell , you know what , I wish I had my PlayStation . Well , you know what I think if we were going to be there one or two more days , then I wouldn't have pushed it on Friday . I'd have just been like , let me get some NyQuil and let me sleep this off a little bit so I can be ready for tomorrow , because we were only down there , we were only going to be there two days anyway to go and look at everything , which was Thursday and Friday . When we came back Saturday , I was like there's no way I can get a day of rest to try and shake this off . I gotta just go ahead and grind it . So that's what I ended up doing . So , but you know , we got to see everything . You know , upgraded our time , share stuff . So now we get to go on trips more . Yeah , she's like , yeah , more money .
WesDon't let her lie to you I feel like you getting sick , subconsciously or in the back of your head . You have come up with some new year's resolutions for yourself , and I can already probably guess one don't get sick again okay oh no . I'm gonna keep drinking . No , come on man , listen to the capacity that you've been for 2024 probably not to that capacity .
DeLawYeah , I know , probably not to that capacity listen , listen , listen .
WesYeah , if you ain't changing something in the new year , if you don't think you need to change something in the new year , something's uh , if you don't think you need to change something in the new year , um , you didn't have a , you didn't learn anything last year , not to say you should have resolutions and shit , but you know you get to analyze you . That's self reflection , like I did some things wrong . Huh , I just need more money . Yeah , the world wants to know . Yeah , the world wants to know did you find another job yet ?
DeLawNo , I haven't . I haven't found another job . Still , you know , I'm waiting on them to either promote me or I'm waiting on them to find another job , to like give me an interview . Yeah , yeah , yeah , you know how it goes . You know the government . They take their time . It's like asking a kid to go do something . They got an attitude with it and they slide their feet across the floor to take their time .
WesI don't know nothing about that .
DeLawYeah , I thought your little nephew would do that . Ask your sister .
WesNah , so my nephew just ignores you .
DeLawLike the government does .
WesYeah , they just ignore you .
DeLawYeah , the government do the same shit . Yeah , shout out , just ignore you . Yeah , the government do the same shit , yeah .
WesShout out to the government New year , new president , new government . Shout out to them .
DeLawWe'll see how he fucks us this year . He got the feds coming back to work . You got the feds talking about . You got the people that work for the feds talking about . So if he made me come back to work every day I'm out . I'm like , well shit , I complain about going . I already go to work five days a week .
WesY'all know what that is here's the thing if our traffic in our area wasn't what it is , I would not mind going to work five days a week . The only reason why I mind going five days a week is because of the traffic . That is the only reason , only reason .
DeLawOnly reason you only get a lot of fed jobs in the downtown area . Yeah , so like closer to you and then going into , like Arlington Falls Church , you get some other ones .
WesAnd traffic crazy too . You only get the fed jobs in , you get some other ones and traffic crazy too .
DeLawYou only get the fed jobs in the downtown area . We got some in downtown Baltimore City , yeah , but it ain't a bunch of them where it's like . You know you go down to downtown DC and you could walk any block and you come across a building . I mean , they got bad stuff all over the state of Maryland . You just gotta find it .
WesI'm not moving to those places . You think you'd be good at Eastern Shore for a fair job ? Look Allegheny Garrett . I applied to be Wacomico for a fair job .
DeLawSheesh , look Allegheny , look Garrett . I applied to be Wacomico , I applied to be Eastern Shore liaison for them . And I was like , and I was talking to my old supervisor . He was like , well , they might make you go over there every day . And I said , well , if they make me go every day , I want there every day . And I said , well , they make me go every day , I want them to assign me a vehicle , because my home location to my home location is down the street from my house . Yeah , so that would mean either I'm coming there to work or you need to give me a vehicle to go back and forth , because I'm not about to drive across the bridge to do whatever then a lot of times with the liaison it's not necessarily going down , unless there's something that you got to do down there .
DeLawWe'll see . Yeah , yeah , yeah , maybe another job will come through and I make $100,000 .
WesYeah , more money is welcomed , I I believe , for everybody this year . But you know , like at any and every fucking beginning of the new year you kind of like you know there's parts of you that's hopeful , there's parts of you like I ain't getting my hopes up and just by just by hearing people talking , what they kind of going through right now , I'm like it's the same bullshit from last year , like I was like it's this girl I ain't gonna say where I know her from or anything like that not a girl , but it's this guy .
DeLawHe wow now I'm thinking about somebody else .
WesYou missed the whole transgender there . Like I did , I didn't say I ain't mean like that , but , long story short , he got a good paying job and he has , uh , his mom has been rubbing him the wrong way as far as , like yo , since you got a good paying job , I need money for this , this and this . And sound like a woman . Wow , he like 30 , in his 30s and his mom's like 60 . Some , Long story short , she in debt , got an SUV that she don't drive and she can't afford an SUV .
WesShe paid like $1,000 on that bitch a month but she works from home and only got like 20K miles on it . Let's just say 25,000 miles on it . She's had it for three years . He told her to sell it . She don't want to sell it , Going back and forth with all the Back and forth of sell it , don't sell it . I'll give you some money towards it . This , this and that and blah , blah , blah . Long , slow , short . She just acted ungrateful and I'm sitting there like , yeah , I'm going to be a lot of that . Sound like a woman .
DeLawI'm going to be a lot of that D-Law said that , d-law said that , and I say hear me out , and I and I say this with love to all women when they , when they have a male in their life husband , son , whatever and it turns into like , oh y'all who asked my d-mind ? You know , let me get you know the mind doing this . I want to do this like it's , it's almost like , especially when you're married .
DeLawMarried is different , y'all living together I mean , but you know they spend their money before they get it . Then when you get your money you get an increase .
DeLawThey're already spending your money , you know it's like I can't say that I don't know that feeling I can't say that good like let's say , I get a promotion at my job and I start making 13 000 , 14 000 more , even though I'm like , all right , cool . It means now I can budget this a little bit differently . I'm budgeting in my head before I get it oh okay , well , cool . That means we can do this and she's done that before . We can do what and do what , and now you can do this and you can pay for this .
WesNow describe before , because my shit is constant . Describe before yeah , can pay for this and he can now now . Now describe before , because my shit is constant . Describe before yeah , like , is it ? Like , oh , okay , it's happened like a handful of times . My shit is whenever it just randomly pops up and if you feel like stupid shit , like can I get 15 dollars for the movie ?
DeLawI'm like what ?
Wesit's any increase oh , any increase if you get an increase in fun . No , I should know what you're supposed to do . I'm talking about the everyday shit . The everyday shit Like I spent all my money . I shouldn't have did that . I want to go get some cereal , but I like this cereal from Target . Can I get $10 ? And it's like yo , it's $10 . You ain't got $10 ? And that's what would be so petty , because it's like it's $10 .
DeLawOh no , that's happened too . I mean , it's not a oh well , I don't have no money . It's oh well , you got it . You just got the increase . You can let me get this , or you can go get it . I'm like what ?
WesYou'll sound worse than mine .
DeLawYou'll sound worse than mine and a lot of times , a lot of times , what it ends up being is it's something I don't even use and I'm like what , oh , do you mind give me somebody to get some milk . I don't drink milk oh well , I need some olive oil , or I might go to the store and get some . I'm like what come on ?
Wesyou know it was . That's never going to change . That ain't even like a 2024 thing . Leave back there that's . Have you ever had that feeling ? But as I get older , it's like yo as a man there's going to be things you're not going to run away from . That's something that you can't run away from , no matter how , how . What is the word ? How one-sided that situations like that is , or how unfair it is . Like that's just the way it go . So once you accept that shit like yo something random going to happen just make sure you got the fucking money for something random and don't get too mad , because it's gonna happen tomorrow , it's gonna happen again and it's gonna happen again I don't even believe that .
WesNah , I believe it , me having to keep money on the side because you don't know how to manage your money nah , yo , that's the part of us man , and I'm not this is not me capable of like you know that super pro , whatever . It's just one of those things where it's like yo , it happens to all the guys I know that's buried or got , or got some type of girl or whatever . Like it happens . So it's just kind of like yo , like it is what it is . We talk bad about them behind their back to our other friends . We keep it moving , cause it's kind of like yo , we can't afford to come up short . But they can afford to come up short . That's just what it is . It's always been that way . The world is built around it being that way .
Navigating Financial Responsibilities in Marriage
WesNow , if it wasn't built around being that way , then , yeah , you know , we can do that thing called holding them accountable , but the only thing we could say is like next time , but I know I'm sorry , I'll do it next time and I'm gonna do all that . No , I do . You ain't about that , yo , you ain't about to give . You ain't about the . You ain't about to keep requesting without me saying something like come on now , because I'm like so where's your money ?
DeLawoh well , I had to do this . I had to do this . I'm like so where's your money ? Oh well , I had to do this , I had to do this . So why'd you have to do all that ? Oh , because so you couldn't take care of your own finances . Because what , oh , you ain't going to ?
Wesyeah well , what make it so bad for my wife ? Like she'll , I'll give her the third degree and I'm like yo . It gets to the point where she don't want to ask , because she was like I already know you take care so much and I'm like so why can't you just like , not do this ?
DeLawcan't give me an answer so I mean because I , even , because , even with my wife being like , oh well , can you , you know , can you do this , this and this ? I'm like why do I need to do that ? Oh well , because I mean , well , you know , you got it . You just got that increase , so I figured , since I've been paying it , you can take it this time like what it's like punishing you for doing good is that a reward ?
Wesfigured , since I've been paying it , you can take it this time . What it's like punishing you for doing good Is that a reward ?
DeLawYeah .
WesYo , let me fill this money for a little bit before you . You know what I mean . Yeah , nah , the reason why I don't listen and this stays between me and you maybe my wife ahead is , maybe she don't . I don't let her know when I get angry . We talked about this before . If I hit parlays , those parlays is my money , if I get some extra money . That's why my devote as long as I handle what I'm supposed to handle , any extra money I come into is Wesley's money and I hide my purchases , like I'm not going through that part where it's just like well , because I went through that shit one time , one time , and I think we was like married two , maybe two years or three years in , and I bought something for one of my cars and she was like , uh , she was like , well , you buying stuff for cars . And she was like she was like , well , you buying stuff for cars and stuff like that and this , this and that . I just thought I was like , okay , that's how we're going , that's the problem . You just thought I'm like okay . And then at one point in time this is why probably about to cause some controversy here that 50-50 shit . Okay , let me put it this way probably about to cause some controversy here that 50-50 shit . Okay , let me put it this way the woman that say they don't mind 50-50 shit , that is a lot too .
WesAt one point in time , just because she didn't know how money worked , she thought because I remember I had the house before she moved in and shit , she thought that I was getting thousands of dollars back on my tax return for the house and I wasn't giving her and that it was unfair that I wasn't giving her any because she pays half of the mortgage . She pays half of the mortgage . Now you , as a math tutor and a mathematician , math major , you know that's wrong . I'm not getting thousands of dollars back a year because I have a house . I might get a thousand dollars back because I have a house . You're lucky if you get that much . I said I may and what . I explained it to her . She could . She it's like she didn't believe me so I had to break out fucking stuff and I'm like here it is . And she was like so you don't give . I'm like so you've been secretly kind of feeling a certain type of way because I think I'm getting thousands of dollars back .
WesI'm like , nah , I wish you think people would be house poor if that was the case . Yeah , I don't file a joint with you . Hell , nah , I don't do nothing jointly financially . See , we have joint . Yo , we tried that , we tried that right and I tried to do the bank black thing . I'm like yo , we're going to do industrial bank , we're going to have our stuff in there , stuff that you need to take care of for the house . We want to use this and for the life of me , my wife , she just don't . How could I put it ?
DeLawTrying to say how not to use the money .
WesThat's what it sounds like . Yes , so it turned into a situation of that . It turned into a situation where she wasn't putting money in and then she'd be like , oh , it's some money in the account , Can I use this to go get this , this and this ? And I'm like these are for bills , this ain't like for target runs and stuff like that . And then she was just now getting used to using a bank . She would get shit put on a little prepaid card . I'm like yo , you're too old for this . Why are you banking like this ? I'm dead serious . It came a long way .
DeLawIt came a long way Prepaid cars , but that's back when you used to work at like Express .
WesThat's what she was . That's what she was used to . I've been used to banking when Chevy Chase was a bank , not Chevy Chase . Yeah , chevy Chase was a bank . That was a long time ago .
DeLawLong time ago .
WesYeah , yeah , yeah , neither here or there , so it was just like stuff like that is the reason why we don't share finances . I had to close the account and shit .
DeLawSee , me and my wife have our own bank accounts , but we have a joint account that we do use , yeah , and it's strictly for our car notes and saving money for trips . So we both put money over there and for the car notes . So even if you're like , oh , I put money over there . And for the Cardinals , so even if you're like , oh , I see money over there , let me use it , oh shit , there's a Cardinal that comes out of this .
DeLawI wonder how much is you know ? Like it's always that , and then we're not putting that much money in it . That is like , wow , there's 10 grand . You might look over there . It might be $30 . You know what I'm saying ? Like , right now , I think there might be $150 and zero on the savings , because we used it when we went on the trip , because that's what it was for . But she , I tell you , she said you spend your money how you want to spend it . Just give me the half . I need to pay whatever , whatever you do with it after that . That's that . But don't ask me for any money , because I make considerably less than you .
WesListen , I do . You want better . After me and my wife had that conversation about the house and shit . She thought I was just getting thousands of dollars back in taxes . I said , yo , if it makes you feel any better , I'll take over the whole mortgage . But you got to take care of everything else and I was like that's going to leave some money in your pocket . And it left money in her pocket for a little bit , for a little while , and then stuff just started catching up to her and adding up . And now I'm back to square one where I'm paying a whole mortgage plus some other deals that we share , and I'm just like yo , like it's just like they had that conversation back then , just for me to actually start paying more . I'm just like how the fuck did this happen you know what I mean .
WesLike how did I get ? That's why she , that's one of the reasons why I was like she asked me for like money here and there and shit not that I have a problem with it .
WesBut it's just one of those things where it's like , like I was saying to you earlier like yo , shit like this is gonna happen . In order to not get mad , you just gotta accept , like yo , you are supposed to be the provider , quote , unquote . That doesn't mean you provide all , but you're a good provider to the household and that shit comes with the territory . That's what stops me from punching a hole into a center block wall .
DeLawHowever , that's where we are right now is . She doesn't ask me for any money right now because she knows that I make less . I said I get it . I don't spend a lot of money , but if you're making this , this , this and this right and I don't know what other bills she has going on .
WesI don't .
Financial Responsibilities in Marriage
WesYou know , at one point in time I had to figure that out for my , for my wife , cause I remember one time she was , I was on something , I was about to send her something . I was on something and she was like , why do you have all that money in your account ? And I'm like , what do you mean all that money ? You don't have no money in your account and that shit scared the shit out of me . I'm just like , oh shit . So I gotta be super duper responsible for both of us . Not that she's not responsible , but sometimes she'll be like I'm gonna go get a bag , I'm gonna go get some clothes . I'm like you don't need that right now one , we ain't got the space for you to keep . You know what I mean .
DeLawWomen , just they have a different outlook on life than we do , and I was having this conversation with my boy . I was like , well , I said I don't know what women's thing is , but it seems like every time they get paid , if they don't have zero dollars in their account , they didn't do something right .
WesWhat the fuck .
DeLawOh shit , they get paid . And if they don't have zero or can tell somebody oh , I got five dollars in my account , it's like they didn't do something right . Don't have zero , or can tell somebody oh , I got five dollars in my account , it's like they didn't do something right . It's like as soon as they save money , you know like oh my gosh , I still have three hundred dollars in my account before they got it , burn it .
WesNah , I'll put it to you this way what I think that is not that some of them want to be irresponsible with the money . I think some of them , some have not been taught , like yo , these are the things that you can do with your money and these are the things that you need to be doing with your money , like as , as guys , we're probably taught that with our uncles like here and there , not necessarily like they sitting us down , but we see certain things like , oh , I will Soand-so put this . He told me put this money away and did this , this and this , and that's how you're going to get this . You see that from your dad , your mom might even tell you to be doing certain things , but with their daughters it's just more or less like they either learn that or they learn to be like yo , find you a good husband , find you a man to make some money . So they think that's all they have to do . It's finding that guy to make some money that's going to take care of them .
DeLawBecause they've been taking care of their whole life .
WesYeah , most definitely , Most definitely .
DeLawSo it's like I get that being responsible with money isn't the first thing on their agenda . For them , being responsible for their money is as long as the bills are paid , and then they burn the rest of it they're good .
WesNo , no , no , that's some , that is some , a lot of them . Not , it is , it is , it is a lot of them , there's a lot of them . But um , yeah , man , I honestly think it's just that , because every time I like we got my wife like on , uh , the right path to that shit is when I broke down like yo , you're living , like you're like , we're like we're millionaires , I was like yo , we got stuff that needs to be taken care of 15 years from now and you can't just be throwing money away because , oh , it's not throwing it away , but like getting new shirts , because you want to get new shirts or getting new . You know what I mean . Like you don't even go nowhere . You know what I mean . Like you don't even go nowhere . You know what I mean .
DeLawSo it's just kind of like that's how I look at it .
WesYou don't even go nowhere like that .
DeLawSo it's like we get Amazon packages almost every day and you're talking about you ain't got no money . I said look at how much money you spent on Amazon . I'm getting stuff for the house . What am I going to do with the dress that's the shield ? What am I going to do with some high heels ? What am I going to do with your sneakers that don't fit me ?
Weslisten , true , you shouldn't
Unconventional Relationship Expectations
Wesbe wearing them .
DeLawListen , you're right like the last thing I got on Amazon besides her Christmas gifts . I got Leo a new motor for his water fountain because the other one wasn't working , so it started going out and I was like , alright , gotta get it $10 . That's all I spent on Amazon .
WesYeah , the last thing I got was two Blu-ray DVDs Looper and After Earth .
DeLawOh yeah , after Earth , I like After Earth , it's funny . After Earth , oh yeah , I like After Earth , it's funny . After Earth isn't one of those . You can watch it the first time and understand it . You got to watch it like two or three times .
WesAnd I basically only watched it a half a time and I got it for like $5 . So my whole thing is I've been collecting used Blu-rays and I've been putting them on the computer and shit . That's a nerdy project I'm doing right now . Nerd Finances are getting better managed over here , hopefully , the way this economy going and tariffs and shit .
DeLawOh yeah , it's going to be a lot of tariffs .
WesThen I ain't showing my feet out here for money . So , yo , speaking of showing your feet for money , I do showing you . Speaking of showing your feet for money . Uh , one of something that I heard or read is another indicator of like yo , yo , uh , I don't know what's going on . I don't know what's going on . Um , so I'm reading something and this girl says I am 21 . Currently I am single .
WesI've always wanted a boyfriend , slash husband that would like to be dominated and sometimes like to be submissive . My ex was very masculine and we pretty much have a normal relationship and I always wanted to control him , but in a good way . And then basically , she basically saying like yo , she just wants a guy that she wouldn't be able to pay . And when I read that I was like yo first of all , I was like yo first of all . I was like what ? Like how do you go from ? Like my last boyfriend it was cool , very masculine and shit like that , but he wouldn't let me do no shit like that to him . What does that sound like to you ?
DeLawugh , what does that sound ?
Weslike to you . It sounds like more fuckery for the year right .
DeLawYeah .
WesIt sounds like it's . It sounds like in somewhere in a deep , deep somewhere in a very , very current future , there will be a discussion had between somebody and it makes it to social media and it goes viral where a woman is telling a man well , if it's not a man doing it , you shouldn't feel gay . I'm doing it to you , it's a woman , so you shouldn't feel gay or you should be okay with it . I feel like that's coming . I feel like that's coming . Now , mind you , for the men that like that stuff and that are straight hey , you know , that's what y'all do . Yeah , I stay out of that . That's just something that don't interest me .
WesBut the fact that this woman said , nah , she just want her man to be all the way submissive to her . I'm like , alright , that's her man to be all the way submissive to her . I'm like , alright , that's that's . I think it's the submissive part , because it's kind of like yo , like what ? Now he getting on all fours or he got his legs behind his head and shit . I was just like I thought women liked masculine men , that's all . That's all I'm saying . I just thought women and she was with a masculine man . I just that shit threw me for a loop . I'm like alright , but I know it's different flavors of women . It's like it's different types of guys and stuff .
WesWomen , if you let them try anything . They would . Man , like you know , she probably was like , well , fucking Sasha , letting her boyfriend letting him letting her bag him . Like I want to try that shit too .
DeLawI had a chick who said she wanted to put her finger in my ass . I said hold up , bitch . No , no , no , I ain't never had that .
WesI ain't never had that . My whole thing is with that , like your sexual , you know , preferences and shit like that , like what you'd like to do , it is what it is right . But I ain't never , none of that . Shit never interests me . And even if a guy was like , yeah , let my girl do that shit , I ain't gonna think he gay , I just think you like booty play , which is , you know , like booty play , but shit like that don't interest me . Just like if a woman was to suck my toes , that shit would not interest me . Just certain things that don't interest me . Certain things interest other people .
WesI uh , I read that shit . I'm just like , alright , here we go again . And I just recently seen a um , a little ad saying , um , cause you know the uh , the olympic shit and the goby stuff . I seen an ad , pretty much a thing from California , some department of California , state of California , wagobe stuff . I've seen an ad , pretty much a thing from California , some department of California , state of California , saying we don't want Wagobe , like fat people , saying that we love the skin that we're in and I'm just like dog . There is a .
Navigating Relationship Dynamics and Expectations
WesAll this social stuff is getting weird and with that particular subject , personally my opinion . I feel like it's a fine line between like yo , loving yourself or loving being fat , because that makes that makes sense to you , right ? Yeah , fat is unhealthy . Fat will kill you . You should always love yourself if , even if you are fat , love yourself enough to be like .
WesYou know what this is unhealthy . You don't love yourself enough to be like , I'm gonna be lazy and stay this way . That's just like saying I , if I'm a , I ain't gonna use that . Yeah , if I'm an alcoholic or whatever , then I love alcoholism , I'm going to continue to drink and shit like that . And you got cirrhosis of the liver and shit Like nah , love yourself well enough to be like you know what , let me get my shit in order . Let me get my body in order . It's weird . It's weird . Here we go . A part of me wished that those drones that was flying over New Jersey and shit was actually real aliens and get a change of how things are going here , because eventually this might be the most expensive four years we ever had . This might be the weirdest social geo-economical , be the weirdest social geo-economical situation we had in the longest , because so many people are quote-unquote right about what they're saying and everybody can't be right . You know what I mean .
DeLawWell , everybody can be right , no , they can't .
WesNo , if there is a no , if there is not even an acceptable truth , if there is a , in your face , common truth of certain things that have been proven , there are facts , just because you feel that , let's just say , socially , a man should be acting a certain way , a woman should be acting a certain way , or you know , vice versa , this factor was wrong . Like , fuck your feelings . You know what I ?
DeLawmean , yeah , you already know . First off , we already knew the men women fuckers was going to happen . I don't even know why the what the men women fuckers was going to happen . I don't even know why the what the men women fuckers was going to happen .
WesYeah , I mean , that's what I'm going to continue .
DeLawLook , because everybody coming in like you know what I ain't dealing with the bullshit from last year . So now everybody weighs in their standard . Now a nigga's going to have to be 6'5" .
WesWell , they're standing out . Niggas gonna have to be 6'5" . I thought you were saying now a woman gonna be like I'm doing the fucking , not just you .
DeLawNah , they gonna have requirements . Nah , you gonna have your women who they wanna be dominant . I never understood a woman who says I want a man who's dominant , or masculine and dominant , that I can be submissive to , but then they have a list of requirements for them to be submissive . So not only do you have to be what she wants you to be those , but then there's requirements to it . Like all those women who say they cook , their husband treats them good , they cook , they clean , they fuck , they shut up . If you ask every last one of them , how much does your husband make ? Oh , my husband , he's well off . He makes blah , blah , blah , so he takes care of everything . Of course he does . That's why you cook , you clean , you fuck , you shut up . What about your normal women who ain't got the husband that do that and they gotta go to work ? They might complain about cooking , cleaning , fucking , and you sure as hell ain't shutting up .
WesListen , I think that's a . Honestly , I'm starting to think that's a small minority of women . It's just that they speak the loudest when it comes to . Let me get to my point . So , when it comes to like their requirements , like I was saying with the other thing , there's a thin line between like a requirement and what your purpose is . In a man , the requirements tend to be what is the word ? Tangible , physical stuff like that ? Right ?
DeLawYeah .
WesAnd when it's that you're paying for the submissiveness . Those are hoes to me . Like it's just like yo , I gotta have , you gotta have these things . Now , when they start saying shit like yo , I want him to be respectable , I want to see good qualities in . When is that type of thing ? When you get what I'm saying . When it's that type of thing , you get what I'm saying . When it's that type of thing , when you're looking for , when women are looking for those types of things in men , they generally are submissive because no matter what that man is making them happy , whether they're going to work or not and I see that in some of my friends , I see that in my relationship and stuff like that .
DeLawI see that .
WesYou kind of get what I'm saying . So those are a certain type of woman that it has to be this , this , this , this and this . You could have all those things and they will still be like . I don't want to , because it never fulfilled them to begin with .
DeLawRight , well , I'm not talking about those women .
DeLawYou kind of get what I'm saying , though I could be saying I wouldn't talk about those ones who don't always say I was talking about the ones who don't say , oh , I'll be submissive to my husband . And a lot of you know , I've heard from my wife , I've heard from other women oh , I'll be submissive to my husband , but the but is but . Then I begin to take care of these things that make me feel secure enough that I can be submissive , or that you be more direct , or whatever . But it's like , in that same instance , then everything you do turns into toxic masculinity .
DeLawI'm like , in my opinion , if you're submissiveness , or you're , if you're going to do this and this requires me to go above and beyond so that you can feel confident enough that I'll take care of everything then obviously we don't miss the whole point of getting married or being with each other , because that's not the requirement that it was to be with each other . It's I'm going to protect and provide , you're going to be by my side and we're going to take care of each other one step at a time . So it shouldn't be negotiation . It shouldn't be based on if I do this , it's like I'll be here every night . If you do this , I'll do this . If you do this , yeah , it's transactional at that point .
WesThat's why I say that's kind of like some I'm the trick in you to hold type shit . I don't want my relationship to feel transactional , whereas it's like I'm only as good as what I can do and it's kind of like if I treated you like that you're only as good as what you can do , as good as what you can do . When your beauty runs out , you gotta go . When you start getting fat , you gotta go , and that wouldn't be nice . You know what I mean .
DeLawI started finding out that like because even like outfits on I didn't like . You know , only time I don't have to do like this , this and this to get sex with my wife is when she wants to do it . When she want to do it , she just drop her drawers and be like come on . I would say , well , look , I'll fuck the bus if you make me this sandwich and make me this drink too .
WesWe ain't transacting , but we can do that , though we just can't do it in that way . So it's just kind of like oh , you want something ? I didn't get my dick sucked . This month . It's going to be a no today , susan , you can't get these pillows from Target . No , I didn't get my dicks sucked .
DeLawBut you can put a pick on them . No , no most definitely , and I'm not saying that my wife isn't submissive or that I'm just saying that a lot of times when you get to these relationships , don't be submissive about certain things and a lot of times . I don't even think women understand what submissiveness is . A lot of them think they're thinking of like a servant .
WesYeah , and me and my homeboy talk about that a lot too . I'm like yo . A real man don't want a servant , a real man just wants to . Submissiveness means you're listening , you're letting me lead . It's not saying that you don't have a voice . I need your voice , like we are doing this shit together . You know what I mean .
DeLawThis means , in a nutshell a help me , someone to help me . That's all it really means In a very broad definition , that somebody who's listening understands . It's not me saying this is what you're going to do Now , go over there and make that sandwich and get naked in the bed . That's not being submissive .
WesI mean , here's the thing , they like that too . Yeah , you got to figure out when that mood is to talk like that , and they'll happily oblige .
DeLawYou don't want them to try to figure all that out . I look , I look . If I done helped you put a good table , I done put air in your tires . If I'm not , you put together a table , I done put air in your tires . If I'm not sick this . If I asked you to let me get a little bit of that cookie , I shouldn't even hear a no .
DeLawBut the fact of the matter is , you might hear a no , like oh well , that's stuff you should be doing . So then it turns into that like well , you shouldn't do that anyway , I should have had to ask you to do it . Well , how am I supposed to know ? Well , you should be doing so . Then it then it turns into that like well , you shouldn't do that anyway , I shouldn't have to ask you to do it . Well , how am I supposed to know ? Well , you should be checking my car . No , that's your car . So it's like come like .
WesSo here's a here's a , here's a , here's a . One of the things I talked to , uh , let you , you know , because you , uh you jogging my memory about something , like I spoke to my homeboy about this particular thing and my wife about our , you know , our community , black community , and shit like that . I'm like , um , sometimes for certain women in our community to speak like that , I'm like you forgot how you , you forgot your history . Black men , black men weren't high earners ever . So for you to be expecting a certain I'm not saying that we can't go out there and do it , a lot of us are doing it but if you are expecting the masses to be a certain type of way , you already pricing yourself out of us . To
Financial Responsibilities and Gender Roles
Wesbegin with .
WesNumber one , number two , the argument of like , well , you won't pay the bills . Like our grandfather , like your grand great grandfather , paid the bills , and stuff like that . I was like , truth be told , great great grandmother had to work and do stuff too . I don't know what his new , I don't know what his new mindset came from , where it was . Just like our great , great grandmmas were just sitting pretty , sitting on a pile of money and this , this , and that . It was like , nah , great-great granddad had to either go in a factory and do some other stuff and it wasn't enough money If grandma didn't work or great-great grandma didn't work . She didn't work , they didn't have that much money . If she went out to work , they still didn't have that much money If she went out to work , they still didn't have that much money .
DeLawWell , great-great-grandma , I'm not going to say they did work , but they could read and write and the husbands normally couldn't .
WesYeah , that's true .
DeLawSo all they could do was go out and work , work , work , work , work . They'll come home and a lot of times they probably couldn't even tell the numbers . That's on the check . They give it to the wife . The wife will make sure all the bills are paid and they can do whatever they need to do . That's how it worked . So they still had their role in the house . That's why they cooked , that's why they cleaned .
WesExactly who the hell wants to be doing backbreaking work .
DeLawAnd then come home . So , babe , where's dinner ? Oh well , I wasn't hungry . Like you got two hands and two feet . Like I just went to work and brought all this home and you tell me I need to cook too , like yeah yeah , I just never .
WesI never understood the logic when they say that I was like and it's not even just our community . I'm like that's the way capitalism works . In the United States they're going to be a very , very , very small few that can afford for their partner to stay at home . The rest of us we have to . Either both parties have to be working or one partner has to be OK with just getting what they can get if they don't want to work . That's the examples all around . The things that women are talking about is people that's making well into the six figures . You know what I mean . And that's not . Is it ? Six figures , five figures ? And most of those chicks cheat in the world . That too . So it's kind of like he takes care of everything .
DeLawHe takes care of his . He takes me on his trip and my . I'm not saying that the guys ain't cheating on him , because they probably , like I already know , she's just with me for the money .
WesSo my whole , my whole thing is everybody need to be more uh uh , understand the nuance of what we are requesting and asking and thinking we're going to receive . It's just kind of like like yo , like I was , like I was talking . I was talking to one of my coworkers . I was like what seemed to work for me and my wife is more or less by , we don't go 50 , 50 , but I'll pay the percentage ratio . Uh , I'm paying more of the percentage of what we are doing and she's cool with that . And it's kind of like that's why I like when we're talking earlier .
WesI'm like if I'm paying more percentage-wise , I feel like you shouldn't have to ask me for money . You should be doing what you need to do to make sure your shit's straight . But that ain't the case sometimes . So now I got to make sure I'm straight and make sure I keep you on the straight and narrow when it comes to your finances and stuff or , you know , showing you opportunities so you can feel like you are being you know taken care of in that regard and shit I understand but that comes with the territory .
DeLawYou can make more money yeah .
WesSo I don't know , man , it's um , I'd be glad when this whole conversation of modern women and traditional women and men and shit finally dies down . I think it's dying down , but it's just one of those things like , if you can afford to do it , you can afford to do it , but I don't think anyone it , but I don't think anyone should have that . I don't think anyone should have that as a a determining . I can't say that . I would say no one should have that as their . What do you call it ? The filibuster , the thing that like knocks every . You know what I mean . That trumps everything
Navigating Traditional Values in Relationships
Wes.
DeLawAll these modern women that are out here talking about they want a traditional man . They lie through their damn teeth .
WesEven , even as , even as , even as men . It's kind of like yo , your life and what you're doing right now dictates if you're going to be able to get a traditional woman or a modern woman . Most of us , because of this thing called capitalism , because of us being Black and systemic racism and stuff like that , we're going to have to get the quote-unquote modern woman , because we're going to need a little bit of help .
WesI personally don't need a little bit of help , but you get what I'm saying . It comes time for , like , the raising of the family and as things you know I mean things to have a stay-at-home life .
DeLawIn a nutshell , you know , so is it ? If we're looking at traditional as in like the traditional traditional , unless you live in an economy apartment and you pay $800 a month , that's not really where you're doing it , because the stuff is too high to be trying to pay the shit on your own . But because I hear a lot of people oh well , you know , I feel you know , I want a traditional man like someone who's going to , like , take my tires to the thing and da-da-da , yeah , that's fine , I'll do all that . I'm like , oh okay , that sounds good . I said so what do you bring to the table ? I mean , I mean , look at me .
WesNo , no , no , no no .
DeLawBecause you try to pull a traditional man . There's a lot of them out there .
WesYou got some that are hybrids I'm gonna tell you , like this , right . So hybrids , hybrid , like , when it comes to that , I'm gonna say traditional values . I'm not a traditional man , I have traditional values . I'm looking for a woman with traditional values . I'm not looking for her to be traditional , and the only reason why I'm not looking for her to be traditional is because , like I said , all those variables , uh , they , we are not afforded the , the , the luxuries of other races and stuff like that .
WesSo there are going to be times where it's just like I don't get something or something doesn't happen for us the way it should happen , because the color of our skin not say that it's going to happen all the time , but those moments do happen .
WesI could be laid off or I could lose my job and stuff like that , and I don't .
WesI would hate to put us in a situation where , um , like , we live in solely off of me and we have the lifestyle living solely off of me , and then , when it's not me , we appear to be poorer than poor because we can't pay for anything , right ? So in situations like that , I'm not a trust fund baby , my parents don't have money . It's not like I can say well , mom and dad , can you hold me , could you hold our family down for a little bit while I look for a job Like the community is there , but the community don't have , uh , resources like that like other communities . So for that very reason I know in the top of my head I'm like yo sure who wouldn't want a traditional woman , but I kind of just need her to have some traditional values , some submissiveness here and there Not here and there , but some submissiveness Like these are the things I'm looking for , and let's work at this shit together , because that's the only way that we're going to get ahead .
DeLawI can't even say I just want something . I need food Submissive . It's like look , I get it . You've been taught to be a strong black woman . Mama taught you .
WesThere's nothing wrong with being a strong woman .
DeLawThere's nothing wrong with any of that .
WesIt's just when it comes to me and your relationship , you give all the mother people that , when it comes to me and your relationship , that's what I'm saying .
Timeshare Decisions and Travel Planning
WesThat's why I said some submissiveness , because I don't want you to be in . You know out there . You know what I mean .
DeLawI'm not talking about like at work . I'm just saying like what is here and the decisions made , like this is what I think we should do . I think we should go forward with this . I'm not saying that I want you to just go in there blindly . No , you still talk , you still talk about it and if I think , hey , you know what , you got a point there yeah , no , no , no , we should go . Like , even when we updated our timeshare and my wife first of all , you know we went in there to say no .
DeLawAnd they end up saying yeah , Well , here's the logic , and I broke it down because I didn't want her to think I just went in there already trying to upgrade and do all that stuff . I told her . I said what the guy told us when we was in Myrtle Beach was , if you decide to move on it or whatever and the numbers don't come out right , say fuck it , it's not that serious . You can always , you know , I was like , okay , I hear what you say , og . So I told her , I said , well , when they showed us the numbers about what we could do , and I kind of think they got over on us , just just a little bit . Just enough that I'm like , ah , you got me . But for all this , just a little bit , just enough that I'm like , ah , you got me . But I wasn't mad at it because I knew I didn't have $1,900 . They gave me a credit card , but that's neither there .
DeLawWhen I looked at the monthly payment that we would have to pay once we get the credit card paid down or whatever we've been paying you know we're paying like $88 a month for the timeshare and then it goes up to like $127 in like two months I told my wife . I said we have to pay that $120 for another two years . I said we're better off just going ahead and getting this and paying $81 a month for 10 years , possibly sending our loan to the bank , letting the bank take care of it , and we paid a bank back for a lower interest rate , lower monthly fee and we'll be all right . You know what I'm saying ? And she was like , oh , and that's why you did it . I said yes , because if we're going to have to pay , we have to pay this for another two and a half years . Why not get the full benefit of it ?
Wesyou know what I'm saying .
DeLawAnd she was like , okay , I mean that's why I let you make the decision , because obviously you were doing the numbers in your head and you were thinking .
DeLawI said yeah because it ended up like we're about to have this . You know , next month this goes up . So you already gonna be complaining about why we got this , like I knew I shouldn't let you talk me back into that in July and blah , blah , blah . Now we can travel . You know what I'm saying . All we gotta do is use our points . So we go . So let's say we . I was like you know what I'm saying . All we got to do is use our points . I was like you know what ? Wes , I'll be down in Oxon Hill . Man , we're going to be over in whatever . Over in Oxon Hill , come holler at us , use our points . All we got to do is drive down here . It's free for us . Use the points , keep it rolling . You know what I'm saying . It's the easiest way to travel .
WesLess money being put in . This sounds like Wyndham . Yeah , of course .
DeLawOf course they gave you the sweet deal . Yeah , yeah , yeah . But I also told my wife . I said , even if it's something that Wyndham can't do , we already have the other timeshare . We have all our boys over there . If we want to go somewhere for seven days , it's only going to cost us like $306 . Seven days Would you rather pay $306 per night ? Would you rather pay $306 for seven days ? When we went to Pocono , when we got married , I paid all of like $360 for a week in a Poconos .
WesA week , it's not bad .
DeLawWhen we went to Williamsburg , Virginia , I paid $400 for the week .
WesI don't know about Williamsburg , but you know , williamsburg is up there in price .
DeLawIt's just , you know , kings , williamsburg is up there in price , kings of the Million is right down there .
WesOswell , is it Oswell , oswell ? I keep forgetting that fucking city or that area , the exit , but anyway , busch Gardens , kings of the Million , kings of the Million being bought out by .
DeLawYeah , yeah , yeah , I know y'all ain't go to Kings of the Million , it's Busch Gardens but nonetheless I said look , all the places we can go to for just a little bit of money would do us a whole lot easier than having that only go on one trip a year . Then we got to save up 1500 just to stay in a place long enough and then we got to get a flight . It takes too much time to build up to do that . Along with , if we pay an outright price for it and we had seven days there and you're talking about , you want to come back after four days we're going to have some issues Because if we pay $1,500 , $2,000 to do that , oh hell , no , we ain't coming back early .
DeLawYeah , yeah , yeah , we out here , we out here . We're telling them to switch our roles , something , whatever we do . But we're not leaving early Because we paid full price . Now we're not leaving early because we paid for a price . Now we paid only $400 for a week . And you're like I'm tired of this place , I'm ready to go after four or five days . All right , see you , let's roll , because we've only paid a fraction of the cost and I know my wife we can get a seven-day trip by day four . She's ready to roll .
WesListen , that was mine too . Roll , Listen , that's mine too . I'm like yo . I personally be mad that I'm here for fucking seven days and I'm like , oh , I'm not wasting , Yo , we're going to have to find something else to do .
DeLawAnd that's the other thing . That's the other thing too . It's like I get it . You know you're ready to come home and everything else , but like like I told her . I got to tell you I got to have one thing to tell them like you have telework , I don't have telework days , but you have telework days , so so you could literally be working from there and um .
DeLawAnd , like you know , and especially being an emergency officer , if I had telework days and I was going to be gone , I'd have to let them know because I could be called in at any moment . Yeah is , I could be called in at any moment . So if I'm teleworking , I'm in South Carolina and a hurricane's coming up the coast and they say , hey , we need you to come in for those suggested stuff , I gotta go . Hey , babe , I'll be back in about a day , maybe you know . But it's one of those things where it's like , if I had a job where I could telework and I knew I didn't get called in , I just had to have my laptop and my job . I don't mind working on my vacations , I'll turn my laptop on , do some work , all right , oh , we go where . All right , cool , let me just move my mouse a little bit and and and dart out . But now I got you , yeah , but then I will say I will save days off , because then it's like all right , well , I tell work monday and thursday . We're leaving saturday , so that means I can tell work monday , take tuesday and wednesday off . Tell work thursday , come back friday . You know what I'm saying .
DeLawYeah , and I could manage it a little differently , but I go in every day . So if I go in every day I don't have the same option to like save leave that way . No , so that's why I always tell her , like you know , if we're going to go . And just because you tell her we're on a certain day , you don't mean you're not phased by using leave . It's different by side , because if I take off that day , we best to not be coming back until my leave is over . Yeah , so if I'm like I took leave until Thursday , we better be coming home on Thursday . Yeah , on Tuesday , not on Wednesday night , thursday . You know what I'm saying . The only way I can even live with coming back early is if we somehow another got a uh , got a uh , a credit or like the money comes back and then I can , and then , if I can get my time , I'm coming in tomorrow , I'm about to take this leave or whatever , but then that takes time for them to approve all that .
WesIt shouldn't take time for them to approve you coming back to work .
DeLawWell , one , you got to get the guy to , you got to get them to do it . I just do it Cause . So let's say it's more like like .
WesWould you want not pay me ? And I came in . I'm forcing your hand . I came in . You can't not pay me , right ?
DeLawI mean I'm just saying like , let's say it's on , let pay me , right . I mean I'm just saying like , let's say it's on . Let's say I'm submitting my time and I'm coming back on Tuesday and time goes in on Wednesday . Or let's say I'm submitting my time and I'm trying to change my time to not come in on Tuesday . If I don't get it in on time , then I'm better off staying out versus coming in . And then even if it gets submitted , and now all of a sudden it's like oh well , you know , we submitted the time , so you got to take the time . I can't go back and retroact and take it out , it's stuck . So that's why I'm always like look , don't book no trips that are longer than what you're willing to go .
WesYeah , I got you . So , yeah , I understand that . So another yeah , I got you . So , yeah , I understand that . So another before we go . Another thing that I saw that spread for me for this year is that this guy was like it was a Kevin Gates video on in the tire shop and it was I don't get tired , and he was mad . I don't get tired and he was mad . Ain't nobody ever say shit about the video being on . Oh wait , listen , I don't know if he was expecting , you know , people to sing along to the shit or whatever , whatever , but hey , makes no sense , right ? And that's what I'm saying this year is not going to make any sense . Welcome 2025 . Hopefully I can make some money in the stock market and continue to see the future . So what does Kevin Case think he really ?
DeLawthink he want people to sing market and continue to see the future fuckery . So what does Kevin Gates think he's going to ? He really think he's going to put people to sing along to it ?
WesNo , no , no , no , not Kevin Gates . Kevin Gates wasn't in the tire shop . A guy was in the tire shop . Okay , yeah , yeah , yeah , and the video was on and he's looking around like ain't nobody gonna sing , ain't nobody gonna say none . But thank everybody for tuning in . D-law is uh silence .
DeLawI'm baffled baffled and silence this is the first episode of the year . I'm just like damn . I just wanted to see the Plaza Hotel where I can get me a job . You know what I'm saying . Thank everybody for tuning in . See you next time .
WesI just wanted to see the Plaza Hotel where I can get me a job . You know what I'm saying .
DeLawThank , everybody for tuning in . See you next time . I know it's not the king of New York , but still .