According To Wes

Money Matters

• Wes/DeLaw

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A wise man once said, "You only really need what you need - all the other stuff is stuff you want." This deceptively simple wisdom sets the stage for our most candid conversation yet about money, marriage, and the uncomfortable truths we rarely discuss.


DeLaw:

I like I tell everybody else, a wise man once told me.

Wes:

Them kids. Bernie Mac. That too.

DeLaw:

RIP. But it told me when it boils down to it. You only really need what you need. All the other stuff is stuff you want. So if you can pay your bills, exactly. And if every all your bills are taken up, or all your bills are paid, whatever you do with your money, that's that's on you. But you're still wealthy in your own right because once again, even though you might have that hundred.

Wes:

You're not in poverty.

DeLaw:

Right.

Wes:

Hey everybody, welcome back to uh another episode of the According to West Podcast. Uh you have me, uh Wes on the uh the path to 99 overall on 2K. I am at uh 91 overall, but didn't pay for 91 overall because shit is expensive. And you have as always D Law here.

DeLaw:

You got D Law that can't even get the damn ball. I'm a good shooter, son-in-law out here. You know what I mean? Look, I've never seen and I it and this is what I was worried about with this whole crew thing. Did you join the crew? Yeah, I joined the crew. Who'd you join?

Wes:

I joined I'm gonna join the one that you joined because uh only be so we can if we do play together and we happen to have somebody, you know what I mean? Send me just send me who you who you join because I've been I've been trying to get my uh my quest stuff, you know what I mean?

DeLaw:

Yeah, I joined green effing something. Green fucking green effing. I think it's really like F instead of saying fucking, just Fm like F and N. And I'm green F and something, and I just joined them because I was like, I'm wondering what this whole crew thing is.

Wes:

They say the best the best thing to do is to join one with a bunch of people in it already because they're gonna be playing, and you whatever they're gaining, you're gonna gain too. Whatever you put in, you know.

DeLaw:

I ended up joining one that it wasn't as high. Like when I originally was going to join, I saw one, but they were it was like the requirements was like you gotta be active, you gotta play every day, blah blah blah. No, no, no, we work over it, and so I found one, I just put some criteria in there only at like level 10. Okay. Uh, my boy, he's on one uh something, something tough, whatever they were. They were level 20, but he plays all the time, yeah. And I was like, I just put my criteria that most time I play weekend and relaxed. Yep, yep. They popped up as a team, and I looked and I was like, oh, they got 50 people, or they got 49 people, people have been leaving. So I might I might leave and join another one. I might leave and join another one. Like I'm gonna just kind of look around, see, see what there is, you know. But I feel like they suited me better than the other ones. Because they they it really was just they just play on the weekends, so they sound like working people.

Wes:

I'm good, I'm joining them now. Yeah, don't leave, don't leave yet. Wait till I get there, see what happens.

DeLaw:

I'll look to see if they're like if if I get on a day, which I'm probably will, I probably should just turn it on and see if someone left already and be like, turn your shit on and just join it. Yeah, join it right quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wes:

You're right, you're right, you're right. Yeah, man. I've been trying to uh grind out as much as I can because I know uh granted I have a set schedule uh for work and stuff like that, but sometimes it gets so busy or I just get so uh fucking the motherfuckers that I don't even want to play 2K so the or anything. So the fact that I have the ability, I'm like, look, grind is I'm I'm grinding as much as I can. Like I said, without spending the money because I ain't ready to spend another what 50 for uh 200 uh VC and shit. I'm like, yo, I gotta be responsible with with this money and holidays and shit is coming.

DeLaw:

Like everybody was like, oh, it's gonna be cheaper to make new bills.

Wes:

I'm like, it's just kinda, kinda, it's the same. Kinda, kinda. I said kinda, I ain't saying like it was dramatic.

DeLaw:

Well, we when they did 2K18, the very first 2K that I purchased on my own. That one was the only one that you could get the pre-order, and your pre-order VC covered your first build up to 85. That was the only one.

Wes:

What did this cover?

DeLaw:

Barely that, maybe eight to 80, 82. I don't remember.

Wes:

I flew through that shit so fast. But the 2K18, literally, if you oh, yeah, you're right, because I'm at uh I'm at an 80 right now, and you're right. Uh, and I used all my shit. You're absolutely right. I bought some clothes, but you get what I mean.

DeLaw:

Like, yeah, yeah, but it was it was one of the things like I was like, Oh, yeah, because that's the only reason I'm gonna get the pre-order because oh yeah, it'll cover at least to 85. And I think if it if it covered to an 85 every year religiously, nobody'll be too mad about they might pick their bills a little different, but they know they're gonna have to drop another 50 just to it.

Wes:

Ain't even another 50. The way my shit and how I leveled up, I'm looking at at least another 100 just to get to uh 90.

DeLaw:

Really?

Wes:

91. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm at a 100 VC, yeah, 100 USD. Yeah. What speaking of money in uh in VC, what do you think? Um do you think you should as a husband and uh person in your marriage, you should be uh chasing your partner about financial issues, or should they just be uh do you just let them uh do what they do and when problems come about, they come about like regular check-ins and shit like that.

DeLaw:

I told my wife, as long as I get your half of the bill money that I need, I don't give a shit what you do with your money.

Wes:

Bail money or bill money? Bill. Well, bills, bill money, yeah.

DeLaw:

As long as I get as long as I get what I need from you so I can pay these bills. You wanna go broke, go broke, but I better still have that money going.

Wes:

Yo, so okay. So hypothetically, I should say she go broke and she say, Hey, babe, can I get some money? What's your answer?

DeLaw:

Uh make sure you can we'll have to figure out how we're gonna split this late fee on the mortgage. Nah, nope, no, because I I if I was to tell you I'm be late, or that's like I don't have no money.

Wes:

Can I get some money to do something? No, I'm just saying, like, if I if you paid the bill, she paid the bill, the bills are paid.

DeLaw:

I'm just saying, if if the bill, if the bills already paid, all right, whatever. But don't turn around and be like, I want to go get some food.

Wes:

Yeah, I got you.

DeLaw:

What you what you mean? I didn't ask you what you're doing with your money. Don't judge me on what I like. I think I got that bottle of blending. Oh, I can't believe it. Like, I don't, you know what? I don't even feel bad if you don't have no money. Oh the bills are paid.

Wes:

I brought this one bottle. Did you not have money? I don't never have no money.

DeLaw:

By the time I'm done, by the time I'm done paying everything, yeah. I got maybe $18 in my bank account. Oh shit. 18. Like, not even like a good 18. Yeah, that's that's a that's a it's a weak 18. It's a weak 18. It's like if you're playing spade, you'd be like, man, I got two in the possible, the strong possible. It's like it's a it's a weak possible depending on how the day looks. Yeah, don't let me run out of gas on that motherfucker.

Wes:

Okay, geez Louise. I was um, yeah, sometimes I I fall in between uh feeling like I need to be monitoring her shit, but not necessarily on our back and shit. Cause I'm like, yo, because I uh me personally, I'm like, yo, she only pays like our utilities and stuff, and I kind of pay everything else. So it's like I already pay more than you. So if you ain't keeping up with, and I'm paying more, I'm like, yo, we we we got a problem, we got a problem. So sometimes I just be checking in, like micro checking in, like, hey, how's everything? This, this, and that, blah, blah, blah because I don't want to be surprised because uh I think I said this already, it's like every time I want to do something for me, it's just like, oh, I'm gonna go get this graphics card for the computer. Um, do you think you can uh I'm like, yo, what happened? And then it's just like you know, shit gone. I'm just like, come on, man.

DeLaw:

But see, I know for us, depending on how you really, really slice the pie, as far as monthly bills, she pays more on the monthly bills than I do. Because the BGE is is it fluctuates, and I think she fronts the American home show every month, but I don't know how much that is either. But if we're talking about total bills as far as things that she doesn't contribute to, because BGE is the only bill, BGE and American Home Share are the only bills that she has that I don't contribute to. But she doesn't kind of she doesn't kind of she doesn't put no money towards the regular maintenance of the house. So as far as like changing the return of filters or buying new things to place onto the wall to like do stuff, she doesn't put towards um, she doesn't put towards the cloud stores for the ring camera, she doesn't put towards the filter for the refrigerator or anything else, all those things are confronted by me. So as far as those bills, if we were to really total it up, she would still pay more than me on a monthly basis, but not by as much as what she thinks. Yeah, and that's if she told me everything that she's paying that I don't pay for because she's like well, why didn't you tell me that that the ring camera stuff is $200 a year? What do I need to tell you that for? You ain't gotta pay for it. Why didn't you tell me that the the get your refrigerator filters and stuff, it costs like sixty dollars every six months? Why do I need to tell you all this?

Wes:

Like maybe she was maybe she was like, I was secretly resenting you, and maybe I shouldn't resent you.

DeLaw:

Hey, look, I said those are I and I like I told her, I said those are two purchases that I made that I wanted, so I fronted the maintenance for it.

Wes:

Yo, speaking of the ring camera, Drain, um, why don't you get the version that you could put an SD card in and you ain't gotta worry about the cloud storage?

DeLaw:

Uh, because then that means I had to call some eye out to get it.

Wes:

That's not hard. That's cool, man. That's not hard. I changed mine. That's not hard. Right.

DeLaw:

I ain't playing with these. All right. The doorbell one was bad enough. They was like, did you turn the power off to the house?

Wes:

I said, uh you didn't turn the power off when you did it. I didn't know. How do you not know? Well, the guy circuit electricity, I might die.

DeLaw:

It wasn't me, it was the guy. The guy was about to put he's he was about to take the old doorbell off. I was like, and I saw the wire. I said, Did you need the power to be off? He said, It's not already on.

Wes:

I said, No, no, that's his dumb ass fault then. Because if he's coming over there to do that, I'm not going behind the customer to I mean, I'm going behind the customer to make sure it's off. I ain't trusting a word.

DeLaw:

Hey, look, and the funny killed that man. Look, and the funny part is is that even if he touched the open circuit, I know not to touch him. He'd have been dead that day. I'd have had to go there. Look, I'd have ran up since turned the power off and prove and and and hope that he that he didn't die. Oh my god, because once the electrical current is done in you know from the initial source, you're now being a you you can now touch the person. So I've called 91 and I'll try some chest compressions and shit.

Wes:

Nope. Oh, because you ain't chased, all because you didn't turn the power off, now you kissing some man on the floor. You wonder how I got here. Yeah, let me tell you the story. Let me tell you this story, yeah. Oh man. But nah, man. I was uh what was I saying? Yeah, the finances and shit. I was reading his article, and this guy's like um pretty much he pissed off. He was like, um he uh he needed some advice in this uh the situation. His uh he says uh his wife and uh his wife recently received a letter from the government stating that she needs to provide details about her tax issue, and that it was a three-month deadline from the date the letter was sent, which was earlier this year. The task of gathering the info was straightforward, but my partner kept putting it off just a few weeks before the deadline. Throughout those months, I would occasionally ask when she'd take care of it, each time she said she'll handle it and told me not to worry. But it was clear the situation was stressing her out, and it felt like she was avoiding it. I offered to help. And since I've done similar tasks before, in the final weeks, I offered to help on weekends, but not weekdays after long work days. A few weeks before the deadline, she finally sat down, did the task, and realized she owed a significant amount. This triggered a strong emotional response, and um and she broke down. She has a difficult history with money and had what she said, she what she has a difficult history with money and had worked hard to get into a stable place, so the tax bill was a shock. I tried to talk to her and calm her down and figure it out and figure out a way forward. And during the conversation, she said something I found genuinely funny, and I laughed. That was clearly the wrong moment. She thought I was laughing at the situation, not the comments. The next day she contacted an accountant to file, to file the return properly and verify everything. At that point, there were still a few weeks left. As the deadline neared, she still hadn't heard from the accountant. I asked if she'd follow up with everything. I asked if she would follow up and uh whether everything was okay. She said she had and told me not to worry. I was stressed. Missing the deadline could mean fines or worse.

DeLaw:

More money. Yeah.

Wes:

Yeah. Shit. While it didn't affect me directly, we're married and financially tied. So it felt serious. The deadline passed without any word from the accountant. She asked me not to bring it up again and assured me it was under control. But I remained anxious. One night I had a dream where she was distraught over the cost. It struck with it stuck with me. And I mentioned it the next morning. And I mentioned it the next morning. We usually talk about our dreams. Later that day, I was still visibly stressed. She asked what was wrong, and I mentioned the issue again. A few hours later, she called for she called, she called from a friend's place and told me. She called from a friend's place and told me off for adding more stress to an already stressful situation. I'm not sure if I did the right thing. She delayed, avoided follow-up. She delayed and avoided follow-ups and left things last minute. We're very different in how we handle responsibilities. I would have done it right away. I know it's not my problem but directly, but we're married and financially concerned. I mean, I'm sorry. We're married and financially connected. It was stressful for me too.

DeLaw:

Is his name on this shit?

Wes:

No, they never put the names. For context, we have separate bank accounts, separate salaries, but we share a house and bills. At no point did I think my partner would not be able to pay any bills.

DeLaw:

You know what I mean? We're gonna tell Brother Finance if your name ain't on that bill, don't worry about it. Nah, yeah, all right. Yeah, if you look at it this way, look at it this way, with a lot of those bills, if your name ain't on it, and they say, Oh, well, you gotta pay. No, I don't. You had an agreement with that person. They got nothing to do with me. My credits, your credit score don't get messed with, no nothing. Now, if his name's on it, that's a different story. So just like the uh Verizon bill we got that I paid, um her name is on it, my name is on it. So if it don't get paid, it affects both of us. D, that's just her. But all the stuff that we got together, yeah, we out. Hey, um, I'm gonna need I'm gonna need that $300 that you that you owe me. I got you, I got you. I said, all right, I'm gonna I can't cover it. So I'm gonna need that money HSAP. Right. And when I can cover it, a lot of times, and like when I do the bills, um, she only she only budget is for two times a month, even on her three paycheck months. Me on the other hand, regardless of what it is, I just pay every time I get paid, I pay to leave us with that cushion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In case something happens, yeah. Like if it's like, hey big, I gotta keep this third check, but you can figure it out. I've already I've already put that money aside. So, oh well, if you want to keep that check, that's fine. What do you mean? I'm not going to I'll pay this, this, this, and this. Right. Right.

Wes:

Yeah, uh, it's one of those things where it's like, yeah, you you say the the my name, you know, if you're name it in the bill, you ain't gotta worry about it, but um obviously money not money, not the more money in the house is the best thing ever, you know what I mean? So it's kind of like if it's only my money and I'm I'm working to support everybody, I'm just looking at all the the things, quote unquote, or the situations we could be doing and or having, and it's just like, well, you're not handling your responsibilities or your your finances the right way, and I gotta save you. No, no, I mean, of course, a man would love to save his woman, but not when you are causing the dangerous shit. Like, I'm not who the fuck wants to keep doing shit.

DeLaw:

Look, I I like I tell everybody else, a wise man once told me kids, Bernie Mac. That too.

Wes:

RIP.

DeLaw:

But he told me when it boils down to it, you only really need what you need. All the other stuff is stuff you want. So if you can pay your bills, exactly, and if every all your bills are taken up, or all your bills are paid, whatever you do with your money, that's that's on you, but you're still wealthy in your own right because once again, even though you might have that honey.

Wes:

You're not in poverty, you're not in poverty, right?

DeLaw:

All your bills. So at the end of the day, you know, for him, he's fine. It's it's her that's having an issue with it. And he and him micromanaging, and I'm not for micromanaging someone else's finance, but I am for micromanaging when you about to have a late fee, you about to ask me for some extra money that I ain't got.

Wes:

Yeah, exactly. So that's that's my whole thing. What it is, is like sh he's trying to, he was, I feel like he was communicating to her effectively, like, yo, and he was doing it way before it was uh supposed to be done.

DeLaw:

Like it's like yours became a problem a problem.

Wes:

What's going on? You you know, you procrastinating a little bit. I don't want you to procrastinate and something happened. Was was this, this, and that. She, you know, I ain't gonna say she wasn't communicating properly, it's just like she was bent, she was dismissing her own problem, but it wasn't she didn't under the communication. How could I put it? You probably could have communicated a little better, like, yo, in the beginning, like, yo, this affects me too because uh I want to make sure you're good and we are together. Uh the we share the house and and bills and stuff like that. So anything you can't contribute, I gotta take on. So I would like for you to you know treat this with some urgency to put me at uh peace of mind.

DeLaw:

Yeah.

Wes:

So it's one of those things where it's like, I don't think that's a tough axe. You know what I mean? Like, yo, and you know how many times I've I've our wives tell us, like, yo, could you just do this for me? Or could you just do this? I know you don't want to, this, this, and that. And that's just something for her. He was asking her to do something for her, which was fucking start this fucking paperwork.

DeLaw:

But women don't understand that.

Wes:

No, she don't understand. I ain't gonna say woman.

DeLaw:

She women don't understand that. You get some. I'm not gonna say all of them. The majority of them don't understand that. They'll, I got it, I got it, I got it. And when it gets down to when it gets to the crush time, they're like, Oh, I don't know where I'm gonna find this money at, but I'm gonna figure it out. And as long as they figure it out, they don't give a shit. And I like I told my wife, I said, me and you, we we use our money differently. You'll see your paycheck about to come in and you done spent your paycheck. I see my paycheck coming in until that motherfucker click, I don't spend shit. Like, oh, I'll get paid by this so I can go ahead and buy this, and then be and then be broke when the paycheck comes.

Wes:

Which is weird.

DeLaw:

How y'all I'm how y'all live like that? But they they want to learn it on their own. And that's why it always tricks me out when they be like, oh, well, I pay my own bills, I do this. I'm like, yeah, okay, yeah, great job to be an adult. I get it. But how is that the lead off to you talking to me about how you're independent that you're telling me that you're an adult? Bitch, I'm here too at the bar. I paid my own drink. Don't that don't that mean something too?

Wes:

Nah, because you're supposed to. That's how they that's how they with that logic is like, no, men are supposed to be able to pay their own stuff, women not supposed to be paying their own stuff. Look, that's listen, listen, listen, listen. That's why a lot of guys be uh when they be dating and shit, they they the the process, you know, the one uh the person they're dating be coming to them with a lot of debt, or they be behind on bills. It's always like I gotta pay my phone bill, I'm behind on my phone bill, this, this, and that, because they wanted to spend the fifty dollars or a hundred dollars on the lashes or something like that.

DeLaw:

So I mean, I'm glad I brought my wife over to Top That's why I'm glad is now it's only you know, like I said, if you want to pay your phone bill, by all means, I'm not gonna keep you from paying your phone bill. Just know the kids that I tutor pays my phone bill. Therefore, you really don't have to pay for anything. Oh well, you know, well, you know, you know, the Netflix comes out of it too. I said, that's fine. I said the bill is 163, and that's what the Netflix included. So I literally, I thought I said my phone bill was like 105. I added you on, it turned into another $30 that I had to pay in the Netflix, whatever. I'm like, you're you were paying like $65.

Wes:

Y'all ever downgrade the Netflix and not pay for the 4K?

DeLaw:

Nah, she won't like the commercials.

Wes:

No, okay. Yeah, the funny part was it could have been free, it was just a commercial, but we we get Netflix, so all this happened to reduce her bill, like everything we've done, if we're being honest, everything is that you sacrificing to use you sacrificing stuff to lower her bill, but it ain't nothing that you can sacrifice for to lower yours.

DeLaw:

My bills don't change, even with the most recent thing we did to consolidate my debt, so everything didn't work out like we wanted to. So when I put on that I wanted money to you know, do the little loan thing, I was like, Yeah, I want to do this and this. They said, Well, you put debt consolidation, so what debt are you trying to consolidate? So I was like, Well, let me consolidate these two credit cards. But really, I was hoping they were just gonna give us the money. I paid off one, paid off the town.

Wes:

Oh, they they pay they pay off the uh you could have asked some some banks, some financial institutions, like, all right, we can give you the money. But if they say if you say debt consolidation, yeah, they're gonna uh they're gonna they're gonna pay it them, they're gonna pay it themselves. Yeah.

DeLaw:

So they they did that. So the the the the if the timeshare had if we had enough money to get the timeshare put on there, we'd have been all right. We both would have came back with money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But and I when I say money, I want to say maybe like $170 a paycheck. Or maybe like a hundred dollars a paycheck, yeah. But that's a hundred dollars we didn't already have. Yeah. But when they say, Oh, we're gonna pay or get that, I said, all right, well, she's like, well, does that help you? I said no. I said the only thing it does is allows the business to grow. Because before I left to come to the state, the business didn't take hits. The business, the only hit the business took was to pay the phone. That was it. Other than that, I worked at remember I worked at Magnesium. I worked at Magnesium, so Magnesium paid my other part of my mortgage and everything else. So the business took a hit of a hundred dollars a month, and that's why it was growing so quickly. But then when I got to the state, I lost that and I had to use the business. So I said, I said, in a nutshell, okay, it's a good thing, because now the business can start bringing money back in, and now since we no longer have a HELOC, we got like a loan loan. The business is gonna be what we use to do shit. Yeah, so it it is what it is at this point. So it's like I don't know what else, unless we hit the lottery. Yeah, I've been drawn. I've been drawn. Somebody was like, So what if you hit the lottery, would you tell your life? I said, Hell no.

Wes:

You say, Would you tell your wife?

DeLaw:

Yeah, would you tell her? I said, Hell no, I wouldn't tell my wife.

Wes:

Yeah, listen, you're not alone. I've said I've listened I've quietly said that to myself so many times because it's kind of like yo, just let me take care of what I need to take care of. Like, I ain't going nowhere. You know what I mean? Like the only thing I'm taking, I'm taking you with me, so it don't really matter. Like, I'll once everything is the responsible stuff is done, then yeah, because I don't want to, I don't want, I don't want nothing to cloud my judgment. You know what I mean? Look, the only thing that I would the only way I'm gonna tell you like this, it don't even have to be millions, and I'm not doing it. Let's just say it's like a uh 10 bands or something like that. Hell nah.

DeLaw:

Ten bands, hell no.

Wes:

Just like this just say you want 10 bands. If I found it, I ain't saying it.

DeLaw:

I'll just pay shit off, yeah, and not say nothing. I wouldn't I wouldn't say nothing. I would just say, oh, I paid this because I wanted a sports bag. I would say it in ways of like I'm not saying nothing. Because certain certain things and be like, oh yeah, baby, I want uh I want 10 grand sports bag. Like let's not let's say I won that billy, right? I wouldn't pay everything off too quickly because then it looked weird. Like, did you win the lottery?

Wes:

So it'd be like But y'all got y'all got separate accounts though, right?

DeLaw:

Right.

Wes:

Just lay it in your account and pay it monthly and not say shit. Put it on auto pay. That is the easiest way to get around that shit. Auto pay it. You know the shit is there. You ain't gotta worry about nothing.

DeLaw:

I can I can do that, but it becomes why do you have any payment if you if you have it?

Wes:

Or let's say she's oh I ain't know that part. I ain't know that part.

DeLaw:

So I have to tell her some things. Because then her payment for it stops.

Wes:

Yeah, because at that point you she she won't see that as a financial uh mistrust and shit and feel like you're taking money from her. Because I'll be I'll be bad, I'll be mad about that shit too. Like you giving you uh you shortly nail money and shit like that, or whatever have you, your girl uh nail money, and she got money, she just not spending your money that you give her on nails. She's saving your money.

DeLaw:

Right.

Wes:

Some distrustful ass shit.

DeLaw:

But if I won that billion, if I win that billion, I would have to pretty much, I would have to pretty much space out what I pay off. So I'll be like, so let's say it'd just be like that one time. Oh, I put this bet together together, babe. If I hit this, it's gonna be 30,000. I can pay off the house. And I just wake up like, oh shit, I hit it. I'm about to cut this shit out. Like it'll be it'd have to be like a whole place.

Wes:

I I'll be I'll be uh still catch on to me so fast because I can't show no enthusiasm like that because I done already sat on the money. So the enthusiasm is gone. I can't wake up and do that.

DeLaw:

It'll be something like it'll be something like 300,000, knowing that we only got like 200,000 left of us. Yeah, yeah. So it'll it it'll always look like well, he split it with me, it ain't enough enough for me to leave his ass, but you know what I'm saying, I can get some shit done, you know. And we're like, you know, it's a couple months later, you know, like hey, hey, I just put this back together. I might get our cars paid off, you know what I'm saying? Hey, look, pray to God that this shit gets paid off, you know what I'm saying? Hey, hey, yo, I get for 40. Yo, all right, so I'm gonna pay your car, my car. We're just gonna split the rest. You know what I'm saying? Like, it would have to be like that. Now, the issue becomes the other hundred million I got sitting in my cow.

Wes:

Yeah.

DeLaw:

Like, how do I explain that?

Wes:

You don't like listen, I'm gonna tell you like this. There are there are men out here who are uh experts at that, and they have done it for a whole fucking 50-year marriage. I'm sure. I'm sure you can figure that out. Not that I'm not that I'm wishing it and shit, but it's just one of those things where it's just like, yo, she ain't got nothing. Never here's the thing. I ain't gonna say we're gonna be living in squalor or anything like that. It's just like she ain't got worried about nothing. So what does it matter?

DeLaw:

Well, see, I'm on the assumption, and this is just my personal opinion.

Wes:

When what it'll be crazy is when you stop working. That's the thing. I don't know how you explain that. Oh, I wouldn't stop working with with a couple million dollars in the bank.

DeLaw:

With if I won a lottery or won another and I didn't have to work, I would still go to work. You crazy. If somebody asked me, they was like, Why would you still go to work? I said, because it's just a different feeling to know that you go to work and you can leave at any given point.

Wes:

Oh, I'd be too tempted to cuss people out because I know I can.

DeLaw:

Right.

Wes:

Like I don't have to hold my tongue when I feel like you disrespecting me. And I'm not even that one of those types of uh employees slash uh adults that that's feel you know that's quote unquote easily uh disrespected, like everything is disrespect. But you know, at times where you at the at the at the office, there are people that that try you because of their role or their uh they quote unquote feel like they're smarter than you and stuff. That's the stuff I ain't got time for. I you know, I'll sit there and professionally handle that because that's the way I gotta do it. But if I ain't if I don't have to professionally handle anything, I can handle this like I'll however I want to handle it.

DeLaw:

But see, I would look at it this way, like I like I and I was talking to my wife about this about one of money, one won the lottery. I was like, I would go to work. I said, what would change is since all the bills will be paid, except for taxes and all the other stuff, my 401k, I could put more money into it so that when it gets to my 10 years being there and I get vested, that if I decide to leave and just wait to be cashed out on that at like 62, I'm good. Yeah, you know what I mean? I still get my I'm vested, I get that's my retirement, whatever. You go to you go to work almost, you go to work almost carefree. Like you really, you really go to work like oh, you told me to do what? Oh, all right. I mean, I just gotta do enough to keep my job. Like, I don't give a shit.

Wes:

Oh, you know what, you know what you you I mean, I can see it that way because you know what that's the equivalent to being a trust for uh being a trust fund, baby. Like, yo, I I do this for the love of the I'm bored, so I come to work for the love of the game. That's right. You don't have the real same problem, so you can actually just kind of just actually do you can do how could I put it? You know how like we talked about giving a uh 10 100 at your job or whatever, you can give 50%, and as long as you stay above them not firing you, you're good. I'm not looking to move up. I'm fine, yeah.

DeLaw:

But look, because it'll be like stuff like, excuse me, you know, you didn't have this in by the due date, like something that you're like, why the hell are we doing it? Well, I didn't feel it was really that necessary because this, this, this, and this going on. I feel like this wasn't really a priority.

Wes:

I'm not saying that.

DeLaw:

But what I'm saying is that now you because as long as you reach your, you know, you get your minimum to keep your job, you really can kind of. I mean, you don't work for the state.

Wes:

Listen, you could be running all the sports pools throughout the office, like, all right, we're doing tennis. You're not even interested in tennis, but you're just trying to make it popping in the office.

DeLaw:

Like, it's it's just a it's a different feeling to know that you can go in there and no matter what they say, they can't. They can't affect your money, yeah. Right, they can't affect well. What if you get fired? I'll be fine. So you're saying you'd be fine if we fired you, yeah. I'll be fine. I wouldn't tell them, oh, I'm I'm worth 900 million dollars.

Wes:

Yeah, the moment you say that type of thing, that's when they'll you know the hate and the jealousy, and they don't want they don't want to be working next to a motherfucker that they know they can't really be. They can't control you because you just going to work.

DeLaw:

I said, but I said, I said, look at it this way. If I was vested already, then I would leave work. Yeah, but because I'm not vested, there's no need for me to leave. Like even if I won, even if I won the lottery at 62 when I'm retiring, yeah, I would leave work because I can retire. I'll get my food, I'll take my social security, early social security, all the other stuff, and I'll be Gucci. But with me still being so young, you know, you gotta treat it like an older person retiring. You once you retire, you you you die slowly. You gotta get up with a purpose to do something. You know, I can still run my business, I can still do all these things, but like even if even if I was gonna try to recoup money or start bringing in residual income, I would hire somebody to run my business for me. I'll be like, all right, I'm hire for a director, someone to do all this stuff to come over stuff. You won't hear too much from me unless you need something, yeah, or unless you start losing business and you know what have you know, all these other things. You ain't gonna hear too much from me. Yeah, it's pretty much your this is your thing. So this business lives or dies on your shoulder. And then, you know, when I bring in your assistant, you're gonna train them because at some point you're gonna move on, and someone else has to step into that role. Like, I don't expect you to want to be here for the rest of your career. Oh, it's amazing. No, I want you to get up, I want you to come here, why don't you learn, become good at what you do, and move on. Move on to something that's gonna get you a whole lot more money than what I can pay you. So, but that not every person thinks of it that way.

Wes:

No, I think of it that way too. And but like I think we talked about it before, like um some of our best examples are uh the millionaire CEOs and founders and stuff like that. Like they had they they got the millions and they still running or on the board of a company while running another company, yeah, or while still running or you know, doing other things and and then doing you know uh investment funding and stuff like that. So I told my I told my wife, like a push company's like even if we did like if we got like five mil or ten mil, I said, I'll set up a way where we can live off of three hundred thousand dollars uh a year. I said I'll I'll um oh yeah, you know, some high interest yield accounts or uh put it in the Fidelity, uh, you know, the stock market uh the brokerage company uh handle that type of stuff. And if I can pull in 300,000, I can work and still make a hundred thousand. We may gain damn near a half a mil. Wife don't work, and then I'm still keeping the money in the bank. The money's making the money when I pass. I should have done, I should have done something with that three, four hundred thou a year that I made. Yeah. To the point where I'm now I'm making a million a year, that money's still sitting, and that money uh going to a trust, and then the kids can, you know, the family can live off of $300,000 a year.

DeLaw:

But I mean, even for even for me, and like when I told the the chick that I wouldn't tell my wife, I said the only reason I really wouldn't tell my wife is based on the talk that me and her have had. Every other month or years, I want a divorce or this and everything. Like when all that money comes to the picture, it turns into, oh, well, I can leave him because he'll be all right. I ain't gotta feel bad if I leave him and he broke. You know what I'm saying? It's one of those things where it's like so.

Wes:

If I tell you, and then all of a sudden now listen, this is this is also what you can do. This is also what you can do. Do what all the uh the the football players do. When I say football, I mean global football, soccer. Oh uh put everything in their mom's name. So when it comes time for all that shit, you can't get the money anyway. Because oh, this is this is uh this is uh senior Mrs. Smith's uh money. This isn't uh this isn't junior Mrs. Smith's money. Uh it's not even my money. My mom puts me on an allowance. So hey, right. But there's no way to there's no way to get there's no way to get that.

DeLaw:

But that's the biggest reason why if I did win a large sum of money, unless it was somewhere it was like, all right, well, I gave her 10,000 because of whatever, that's different because she ain't gonna just come and say, All right, I'm gonna divorce off 10,000. 10,000 don't really solve nothing.

Wes:

You'd be surprised. So that come up off of the you'd be so you'd be you'd be surprised. She'd be like, I can start over with this. You'd be surprised what people would think.

DeLaw:

But it's one of the things like once you know that I'm worth a whole lot more, it's like, oh, well, you know, well, after you pay everything, break me off half. All right, cool. I break you off half. Then that means you get mad one day. Well, I'm out. I'm gonna tell you like this. I mean, that's half the money.

Wes:

I ain't even had I haven't even had that talk, but if I win it, I'm not breaking you off half. I won it. That's just like me going to work and then she's saying, break me off half. That don't that don't that's never gonna fly with me. Now we and the I'm just hypothetically speaking, we traveling or we in the woods or a Brinks truck fly the fuck open, I run and go get the bag and she speeds off and shit, and we try and get back to the house and she's like, We gonna split this 50-50. Yeah, yeah, that is the only situation. But if I take the money that I earn, five dollar ticket, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. No, you won't be taken, you won't be taken care of, but it's just like nah, I'm not gonna give you fucking half. I love I love her dearly. It's just it's just uh the the optics and the semantics of that. I'm like, hell no, I will make sure your dream, your wildest dreams come true, but it's still my job to protect and provide and bring in money. I brought in some money, so I'm still gonna manage right this money.

DeLaw:

For sure.

Wes:

Like, let's let's figure out let's figure all that out. But I'm not gonna just say, here you go, right? Hell no, even when we give him the money as we we like, so what's what you doing? Like, what is what is why don't you have you said you had it last week and you don't have it now? Like, what happens? This it's the same thing with this uh the story. It's like yo, like he's still asking, like, yo, like I'm protecting provide is too is it means it can mean so much in different uh scenarios, and he's trying to protect their family from financial mishap by staying on your ass. He's trying to provide insight into the switch about how you should handle this, because he said he went through something like this before. She just kind of just like, yo, I don't need that shit right now from you. Like he was nagging or something, and I'm like, come on now.

DeLaw:

I've been late on the mortgage once, and that's because I you know it was new to me paying it every call. Because when we paid the rent at the place we used to live at, um it went into a into a software. So we would go into the software, hit pay, it'll run whatever, and we were good. It was when we moved and got the mortgage, I think it was like I want to say, I'm not gonna say a couple months down the line, I want to say like maybe a year down the line. And I was no, it probably was within the first 10 months, just I was just like, I got time, I got time, I got time. I looked up, this shit was a 17.

Wes:

I've only, I mean, I've I've been I've been pretty consistent because I know like uh like the check, whatever check is close to the um the first, that's the shit that it comes out of. The only time I've been late is by by like a day or two, and that's because I chose to be late by a day or two. But my whole thing is I'm like, nah, the way I think about it, since I'm paying all of it, is like I don't never want something to happen to me because I procrastinated and then like I'm goodness forbid, uh, can't pay it right now because I'm oh broken arm or I'm in a hospital doing that time, something crazy, or even visiting or handling something, and I couldn't readily get to it. I don't want to worry about that. I wouldn't want to have my wife worry about it. So as soon as I get that motherfucker, the shit gets paid. Every everything that I like kind of got my hands on with that, as soon as I get it, it needs to get paid. Like it has to get paid anyway. I'm not um you know, I'm not in a situation where I'm robbing Peter to PayPal, so the shit gets paid, and I don't have to worry about them just like uh. So when it comes time, I think we talked about it before, like, oh, I want to go out to this, this, and this. Like, uh, well, um, I just paid the mortgage today. Uh we ain't doing that. Uh, how about we go to uh uh whatever, whatever, whatever. Let's go to Longhorn or something. We not doing, you know what I mean? We not doing that and spending like $120. We not doing that. I just paid them, you know, and you know, so you know how that shit goes.

DeLaw:

But yeah, now I missed it once and I didn't even I didn't tell her. I just paid that $41 change lately. Didn't say nothing. She was like, You good? I said, Yeah, no, everything good. Gucci. But I I take care of it. Like all the bills besides BGE, I take care of.

Wes:

So it's safe to say that you uh you believe in uh financial independence in the marriage.

DeLaw:

I believe in independently making sure the bills are paid for your have before you do anything else.

Wes:

I'm gonna take that as a yes.

DeLaw:

Um it's a very long drawn out yes, but yes.

Wes:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my second question is if it ever got to a point where like, yo, you could take on uh 70 or 80 percent of everything, would you do it? And like the as far as like household stuff?

DeLaw:

If I had to take over 70?

Wes:

No, if you were able to, like you're able to, you could take on 70, 80 percent, would you do it?

DeLaw:

I could, I would.

Wes:

Okay, I would. I mean would you do you think your wife is the type of woman that'll let you do that? The only reason why I ask that because for uh for some reason, I know the reason, but the uh uh I didn't know it was still a thing that women think, like, yo, if he pays, the reason why you gotta have a job is because if he pays, he's gonna expect you to do whatever he wants you to. He's gonna expect you to do whatever he wants you to do. And I'm like, even if it was 50-50, I kind of expect that. Even if you was paying all the bills, I kind of expect that. Just because of the stuff that I'm doing. So, you know, the the conversations or the prior conversations we had about, you know, certain things and you know, your your wife's temperament and shit. You think she'll you think she'll allow that? You think she'll easily sit back and let you do it, or she'll be like, I don't like you paying everything.

DeLaw:

Yep, without hesitation. What do you mean without hesitation? That doesn't even make any sense then with what you were telling me. Because I look, because if I told her, I said, I'm I'm I'm I'm booming right now. Yeah, and I'm gonna just say I'm gonna pay this. And if it put money back in her pocket, she'll like, well, I mean, how don't I look, look, look, this allows you to start saving some money to do other stuff. Yeah, are you sure? I got it. Don't worry, I got it. She's like, okay.

Wes:

So do you think do you think you could be like, hey, uh, when that's going on? You think you'd be like, hey, babe, can you make me a sandwich?

DeLaw:

Nope.

Wes:

Come on, man.

DeLaw:

Put it this way. The only way I get that, 100 housewife.

Wes:

But you paying 80, so it's just 20%. How far are you off from a sandwich?

DeLaw:

You gotta, you gotta use you gotta get this. If she gotta sandwich if she gotta walk out that front door to go somewhere to go make money, but that's her that's her walking around, uh the uh girly girl money.

Wes:

Don't matter, don't matter, don't matter.

DeLaw:

Put it this way like all the women who got who are taking care of why I work just to have my own money. If I paid 100% of everything and you chose, not that she in this case, my wife still has to because she still has to pay 20% of whatever is still left. But if you chose to go to work, that is not my problem.

Wes:

See, okay, so I I'm I'm I might be uh getting older in my uh I'm definitely getting older in my age, but uh my different mindset. I think I feel a certain sort of way if she was if I was paying 100% of everything and she chose to go to work because at that point I'm like, I'm gonna be honest, maybe some insecurities start kicking in. Like, what the fuck are you working for? No, they need no no, I mean the money. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because it kind of sounds like they're setting themselves up, like yo, I'm in taking care of, but if I need to make a grand escape, I make a grand escape.

DeLaw:

Look, what woman doesn't get married trying to get trying to escape?

Wes:

A lot. The lies they just don't know it's not a lie.

DeLaw:

No, no, no, it's not a lie.

Wes:

I ain't gonna believe it.

DeLaw:

You know why I believe it?

Wes:

Why?

DeLaw:

Because I see a celebrity, all these celebrities.

Wes:

You're talking about no, you can't talk about them 1%.

DeLaw:

No, no, no, no, not just them. I see all the dreams around here. Oh, he got this, he got this. I've even heard women like, you know, I wouldn't mind. I mean, if I'm gonna get married, I'm gonna get married rich just in case I gotta leave. He gotta give me half his shit, and I'm gonna pop out a baby. Like it's it is it is almost based on what based on who you're dealing with, and we'll say that. I'm not gonna say majority, I'll say the small minority that are hoodinks, or they just didn't grow up with money. When they get married, they got into the marriage thing, and it was supposed to be this grand thing and everything else, not realizing this work. So when they get into it about day two, realizing this this shit ain't no cake. Well, they planning their escape. They're planning their escape off the back. You got some women, they want to get married for the pantry, but not for the work that's involved. That's why that's why most marriages are most divorces are initiated by a woman, which is about what, 80-90 percent. Yeah, and you know, the the bulk of that of the women that do do it, the bulk of them are educated women that feel like they can do it all because they've been doing it all, feeling like I do the same thing a man do, but really you're doing the same thing that adults do. So, like, even like even that, and that and that's the biggest reason why I won't ever tell my wife. If I won big, I wouldn't tell my wife because I already know she's done trying to plan her grand escape before.

Wes:

Like look, you gotta call like it is, and as soon as the money rolls in, and it's like, oh well, he got this, and yo, I'm gonna say she might surprise you because maybe, maybe that's enough for her to be that's enough for her to be calm, and maybe her true thing is like maybe the fine, I'm not saying y'all having financial issues, but maybe that's something that's in the back of her head, and she's like, Well, I love this man, and it looks like things are gonna be okay. I I want to believe that it could be that, it could be that I want to believe that, but I know if you're farting in the bed and sticking her head under the covers and keeping her trapped, if you're doing shit like that, then yeah, I can see why she probably like, you know what? I don't want to be with this motherfucker, he played too much.

DeLaw:

Like I always say, a lot of our disagreements has it's been petty stuff, what you've been telling me. That's what I'm like, I don't understand. Like, even like this morning, she was mad. She was like, Oh, you pinched my leg and you didn't apologize. I said, I did apologize. As soon as you said, Ow, that hurt, I said, Oh, my bad. That was the first thing I said. Now, whether you heard it or not, that's something totally different. I said, Because if I didn't say anything about it or didn't apologize when it happened, I wouldn't have asked you, Are you okay? Is it bruising? Do you need some ice? Because those are things you say to someone, oh shit, my bad. I didn't mean to do that. Yeah, I knew that. Yeah, well, you didn't apologize. And I'm like, so she's like, Well, you know what? I'm not even mad about it. I just know how to move accordingly and I and I try.

Wes:

Yeah, but no, that was not the discussion, but what?

DeLaw:

Like, what are we what are we talking about? Like, you you you're mad at what because you every time we play around, you always trying to hurt me. How am I trying to hurt you? Literally, I've done asked you, don't hit me in the head when I'm trying to sleep, or poke at me, or try to pinch my nipple. Then you want to wrestle with me. Why you want to wrestle? You know I'm strong.

Wes:

Yeah, you know strong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's some petty stupid shit. There's no way, there's no way.

DeLaw:

In my head, I'm like this. Nigga, we got we got three days before my birthday. I'm about to be 40. And you talking about this bullshit? Get the fuck out of here.

Wes:

I ain't say it like that, but it's one of the things I said that was the that was the that was the spirit that you had at the moment.

DeLaw:

Yeah, if if we I can see if we're bad and finances are bad, like every step I've taken has been to put money back in the pot. From the time that we left Severn to the time we moved over here, so yeah, I'm getting some money back. She's like, Well, did you get money back? I said, No, I'm putting in more money. We got here. Everything I've done, I've increased my what I'm putting out to decrease what she puts out so she can start trying to save money.

Wes:

And she's has that been the she knows that that's what you're doing. She knows that that's the overall.

DeLaw:

That's what I do. Yeah, like even like with this loan that we just took out, or that does this equity loan versus line of credit. I was like, look, I really think we should take the the line of credit. I know it's only gonna be 75,000, but we can make it work. Oh no, I think we should do the the the loan because it's gonna be 105,000 and we can do it for 20 years. I was like, 20 years is a long time. Okay, I'm just letting you know 20 years is a long time. And if we ain't even if they haven't even like let the funds go yet, and you talking about some, you know, I'm gonna move accordingly and I try, we got 20 years on this loan. That means if we sell this house, we get nothing. Nothing. Which means that not only do we sell the house and got nothing to pay back the loan that was there and all the other stuff, we still gotta pay the realtor. We still got this a we're gonna be coming out of pocket just to be broke when we could do this broke shit together.

Wes:

Not but y'all not broke though. So it's just I'm just saying, yeah.

DeLaw:

She's like, well, I want to man, do you not know that if we sell this house, $110,000 of the closing is going to the bank? What money? What money are we talking about? What are we talking about? In 10 years you wanna pull that and it's 50,000 left? Okay. 20 years you were like, look, I I stay here 20 years till this was done, I'm I'm ready to roll. Okay. But at that point, that means we got five years left on this damn mortgage. Like it's like what so you know, when she left it, I said, you know what? I'm gonna let her do her thing with her sisters. She's gonna stroll, she's gonna come back, and it is what it is, and we'll see how it goes. You know, like I'm not, you know. I can't press the envelope. Eventually, she's gonna hopefully she'll get over it. About pinching. Yeah, I feel like it's on the motion. I think what it no, well, she was like, Well, you pinched me, you didn't apologize. Besides, like you started snoring because you went to sleep.

Wes:

Okay, but you was already asleep.

DeLaw:

I was I was tired. I haven't got a lot of sleep. I've been on the I've been taking meds and stuff trying to get all this Fleming shit out for my birthday, so I could party. And I'm getting like three, four hours of sleep a night. And I'm just like, you know what? And like I just kind of looked at it, I was like, you know what? I ain't got the energy to argue with you. Because at the end of the day, if this is what if this is what you're gonna tell people, oh I know, I know you're already gonna you're gonna stack it. Like, well, he he was this way, he was sloppy, he didn't take care of this, he didn't do that, he didn't take care of himself, he blah blah blah. You're gonna say all these things, they're gonna look at you like so did he hit you? Did he like beat on you? Did he they're gonna ask all the things you would really get a divorce for? And they're gonna be like, so you divorced a good man because of things that you just didn't like that because you you do these things, like that. That's not how they're gonna look. It's like me saying I'm gonna divorce my wife because she doesn't play sports.

Wes:

Yeah, that's who, and if that's the case, I'm pretty sure you have not changed that much since y'all have been married. So I don't uh I don't understand.

DeLaw:

Every every every damn thing of how can I say not even how I can save me money, how can I get money back in your pocket because you talk about you broken, you talk about she's like, well, I whatever, but hey, it is what it is, but that's why I wouldn't tell my wife now because it oh hm well now I don't feel bad leaving him because now he can buy his own house, but then again, it might turn around and be like shit, he made all this.

Wes:

I could quit my job and do this and do this, and it could turn into a it could turn into a lot of things, but at the end of at the end of the day, and this is I'm not putting this out here. If she feels like she should leave because you got the money, is it if you think that no, I'm not gonna say that. God damn it. It sounds like I'm meddling. I wouldn't want to be with anyone if I thought if they if I got the money, they'll be out. I might as well just take the money so they can be out because I'm gonna have more fun without them. Because that's just a person that don't really you know what I mean. You ain't gonna be you're not gonna be your best, you're not gonna be your best self with me anyway, because you wanted to leave and you found a reason to leave. You're never gonna be you're not gonna be your best self with the money. So if I got it and you feel like you need to leave, then I feel like you need to leave. Why am I keeping you in this and hiding the money when you ain't gonna be your best self anyway?

DeLaw:

Right. Because look, you know, it price.

Wes:

I'm not a marriage counselor, and then I'm just I'm just I'm just saying stuff off the top of my head. I don't know.

DeLaw:

I mean, because look look, let's say I don't tell her, and she's like, you know what, I'm done. And I just say, Okay, you know what? If you want to leave, that's fine. You know, it's no if you're really that unhappy here, then leave. And I and she's like, Well, I want to sell the house. Well, I'm not selling the house. I said, I'll buy you out your part.

Wes:

Why not sell the house?

DeLaw:

Well, no, because then it'll be because if I got the money, then I didn't tell her I had the money, I'll just buy you out your part. Well, how are you gonna do that? You're gonna lose it out of the way, and then once I buy you out your part, well, how can you pay for the house? Because I've won the lottery.

Wes:

No, what you do is no, what you do is you sell. The house. I wouldn't sell the house. Why not? There'd be no reason to. You will still live there?

DeLaw:

Yeah, I'm still live here.

Wes:

And she knows where you live at?

DeLaw:

Yeah.

Wes:

And you got the money now.

DeLaw:

Well, that's if I tell her that I got the money.

Wes:

Yeah, yo. There will be signs.

DeLaw:

It'll be it'll be one of the things.

Wes:

There will be signs that she go like, yo, how the fuck? Like she might be coming over one day and she's like, How the fuck you get this new car?

DeLaw:

If I buy her out her, if I buy her out her half, you think she ain't gonna look towards you? Then I could take her off the lease. And then all I gotta do is pay the house off. I ain't got a house, no, I just gotta pay the taxes along with paying off my other stuff and all, you know, all the other stuff.

Wes:

And then at that, let's say, and let's say things it sounds like when if you were to do that, there needs to be a verbal agreement that you do not need anything else from me. This counts as uh a partying gift, blah blah blah blah blah. There will be no uh whatever, whatever, whatever, because we both have actually you made more money than me. No, don't even put that in there, but just you get what I mean.

DeLaw:

Like uh I'm just I'm looking at it from the standpoint of if you want out that bad and I know I have the money to take care of myself and whatever, whatever, and you want out that bad, okay. Who am I to keep you here?

Wes:

I mean, and I mean like talking about want out bad, bad, not like her just saying that shit earlier every time she gets mad and then be happy with you three hours later.

DeLaw:

Right. But it's like it's one of them things like if you really were like, I want to be out, I wanna be okay. But I still wouldn't say that. I mean, I don't know if they make you release your finances or anything.

Wes:

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, you have to play that uh partly so that so the courts ain't involved.

DeLaw:

The only thing is like, and I think y'all gotta be separated because at that point it would just be a complete separate, it would just be a complete or whatever divorce since we only own property together. I would have to buy her out of the stuff, if you can. Or or have an agreement that says that we're still paying half on the time share together, and you know, like an agreement, however it it goes or whatever. But nonetheless, if if it if if no finance has to be shown, okay. Well, I will buy her out her portion. And if the money gotta go through the courts to a check, here's the check court, there it is. Pay off the house probably the very next week. And if we start talking or start thinking like we want to get back together, she said, Well, I want to move back and whatever, we'll deal with that as it goes. But what? No, no, hear me out, hear me out. If it if it gets to that point where it's like, I think I made a mistake, like it's hard out here, and I'm I don't know how good I am, yeah. It's still my wife, I mean I still love her, but I'm just oh that's not what you said. I see what you're saying. Yeah, I mean, it's just one of those things where it's like, all right, you know, whatever. And if they saw him coming back, then it's like, all right, well, you want to get remarried? All right, cool, whatever. And then why get remarried? Why I don't know. Why no? At that point I wouldn't. Yeah, why at that point I wouldn't because then oh, you have all this money, you would just work on a tell me. You'd also make her sign a prenup, too. Oh yeah. But nonetheless, you know, people have given me different scenarios uh if I do tell my wife. I ain't saying shit. It's like they're like, Do you tell your wife?

Wes:

I said yo, then we just have then we just talk about like if it was even if it was parlay money, like that's my money. I'm not like fuck I'm telling her I won two thousand dollars for no parlay, you see parlay, I'm still gonna do what the fuck I need to do.

DeLaw:

Like that doesn't mean parlay money's different. I'm talking about like a large sum of money. Uh listen, like if I just if I just won 30 grand and all I did was pay off my car, oh, how'd you pay your car off? Oh, I won this parlay. She'd be like, Oh, okay, cool. But if I brought, I'm talking about I I had to bring in a substantial amount, like something that's like, huh.

Wes:

See, the thing is you can't really get a you can get away with it to a degree, but once you start talking about we need to move, how do you even, you know what I mean?

DeLaw:

Now at that point because I'm moving. Because at that point, what I would at that point, at some point I would have to tell her. I would break it to you. I would do all the responsible stuff, and then just say, okay, I came into a large sum of money, you know, I probably wouldn't say the lottery, but I won this really good bet for a couple million, and I'm ready to move. You know, and if she's like, okay, cool, and we move, and we can find whatever house you want. Nah, we can even build a house. I don't give a shit. There's what do you want to do?

Wes:

My wife has the uh uncanny ability to choose the most expensive stuff, even when she don't know it's expensive. So I don't, I'm I've been fucked so many times when it comes to like you pick, and I'm like, I'm not doing that no more.

DeLaw:

Look, I even told her you could you could uh I told her you can even we can even get a house built out in Frederick. You know what I'm saying? And then we you know, once we get vested, we just quit our jobs, yeah. We quit our jobs because we're vested and we can move to Frederick and live off the money and do whatever we want to do. Yeah, you know, for the next seven years, yeah, we're gonna have to work, you know, because you never if you got the money, why you waiting to get vested? Oh why you stop for that mentality? Oh, why? Why not? Why not as I get older?

Wes:

Seven years working when you ain't really got work. Okay, well, you can do a lot within seven years. Think about not having your day cleared out to do whatever you want, and that's just the first day. You won't give that up, you won't give that up to like what what is vested for like I don't know how much, but you know what I mean? And you could have easily put some money in a bank and made that.

DeLaw:

Yeah, I could have, but you work smarter, not harder.

Wes:

Why not get a free paycheck? You will be getting a free paycheck when your money makes your money once it's not once it's time to retire.

DeLaw:

That money comes. I look once that once the seven years is over, and mind you, I might still have all that money. It's like, all right, you know, oh wait, I'm vested. Oh wait, it's 62. Oh, can I get this? Can I get my social security? Can I get this? Boom, all right, cool. We I'm Gucci. That's just another check rolling then on top of whatever I plan, whatever I started doing anyway. Like it's just I just look at it from why not bring in more money? Why why not just have a paycheck coming in that covers you know your play money? Like, hey Ben, don't you want to go? Remember that restaurant we saw in Virginia? Yeah, let's go there. Yeah, let's just get a hotel room for a couple days.

Wes:

I know what you mean. I and I I I feel you on that because I'm thinking back to like at one at one point in time I was dating this girl, she was living with her aunt and uncle, and um, and I went out with them a couple times, a handful of times, and every time that they would go out, their MO was to order something now and order something to go. Now, during this time, I'm like, that's some rich people shit. That's a rich people because who the fuck orders what you about to eat now, and then like I'm probably gonna eat this tomorrow, yeah, or I'm probably gonna eat this tomorrow. I'm like, what the fuck? So I would like to be I would like to be on that status where it's just like yo, I'm gonna fuck with the the the jambalaya here, but uh I'm taking home the the the parmesan crushed it chicken, you know what I mean? Like some shit like that and and keep it moving. So off the rip, every time I went, the bill was at least like 500.

DeLaw:

Jesus.

Wes:

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, I'm like, okay, I like that type of living. Take something, you know, whatever, whatever, whatever. Why not? You know what I mean? So it's kind of like, yeah, I get what you're saying. Uh that could be your play money every uh month. And then it's just kind of like you, you know, you can also just like you're gonna do the hard work, so future your future generations ain't really got to. Like great-great uncle or great-great-grandpa D Law did this, and this is how he was living, but you ain't even gotta do the stuff that he was doing. You just have to make sure the money keeps making money. Right now, if you want to do something outside of the money making money, have at it. But you know, you ain't gotta do what he did. You starting off at you starting off good at eight surplus. I had to get to 40 to get to this point, you know what I mean? So just imagine what you start off in a surplus already. Hell yeah. So I get it, I respect it. I just it's just uh it's just uh I don't know. I I go back and forth in between, like, do I, you know, continue.

DeLaw:

Oh no, everybody, everybody thinks I'm weird for it.

Wes:

They're like, no, no, no, I think you're weird because I just I was just saying, like, yo, I would probably still go to work too, but it's just like every time I think about different scenarios, it's like, well, damn, do I it's not that I don't want to work, it's like, do I want that job? Does that make sense? Do you want that job while you have that money? And my where I'm at now, the answer is yes. But I think about other jobs that I had, the answer is no. Because that I can work this and not be too, you know, stressed. I ain't really thinking about nothing. I go there, I come home. It shouldn't be too much of anything. So, yeah, and no. And then sometimes I think, well, you know, just make your money make, have your money make money. You don't have to worry about the check that you're getting from there. And I'm like, Yeah, true. And that's kind of like an easy peasy, you know what I mean? So it's like, so what am I really doing? So that means I need to pretty much try to go into business with myself, still work, but do something. Like maybe I got maybe I bought a cleaners and you know, I'm George Jefferson out this motherfucker, and I got two employees that's working the working that motherfucker, and that's my play money, you know what I mean? Like stuff like that. I don't know. How do I segment that away from the the the family's money, you know, shit like that. Sounds like I'm gonna need uh some accountants and some uh financial planners and shit, but yeah, but I say all that to say. I believe in financial independence and your marriage as well.

DeLaw:

Oh yeah, no, you need it, definitely. I'll tell you that.

Wes:

I feel like um I feel like both should have that. Um it's just that it's just the way this world is set up uh nowadays. Like back in the day, society was different, and we can't keep going based off of uh how society was and trying to go by those rules when the the rules of today uh do not allow that to be 100%. Right now, you can have so much fucking money that you make your own rules, but a lot of us will never get to that. So we gotta play by the rules that's in front of us. You gotta play, we gotta play the game that's in front of us, and yeah, and those are the rules. So it's kind of like I would prefer my uh my wife to have her own money. Um, I got my own money and we put the shit together. Now, if I had enough where it was just like, yo, um uh you don't have to work, then yeah, she'll have her own money, but her own money's coming from me. Right. So it's one of those things where like whatever she decides to do with it, like if she's like, this costs this, this costs this, this costs this, I give you that money. You decide not to get nails that day, you decide not to get nails that day. That's that's that's kind of on you. But I'm always a I would have to be in a surefire way where it's like if I lost my job or whatever, have you was we'll still be good with you not working. So until that happens, you know, the how we slice the pie and finances is how we slice it. It's a it's like a 75-80 on my end and like a 30-25 or just that's just the way it is.

DeLaw:

So I get it. Yeah, just the way it is. It's just how it is. I mean, can't be mad at it. Yeah, on that note, I wish I could, but you know, my finances ain't good like that.

Wes:

Yeah, um on that note, um everybody keep nagging your significant of them on uh finances. Don't let them uh put you in the fucking hole because they fucking up the money. Yeah, and uh we thank everybody for uh tuning in and uh catch us next time.