According To Wes
Finding the humor in everyday life and trying to understand what that means to me.
Join me on this never ending journey of self improvement and reflection with the help of friends.
According To Wes
Loaning Love Or Losing Money
A simple question with a heavy cost: if you loan your partner $10,000 for a car, do you expect it back?
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of the According to West Podcast.
SPEAKER_03:As always, we have Blaw the I want to say 14 pounds lighter son-in-law.
SPEAKER_00:Hey, that's what I like to hear. Yo, that's what I like to hear. That's what I like to hear. Uh, you got me West, and I'm gonna say, I'm gonna ask, uh, are you 14 pounds lighter because of you slow down on the drinking?
SPEAKER_03:I will say um not when well when I went through all the pain in my back and all the other stuff and all the medicine I had to be taking to ease my pains, uh-huh, uh caused me to not drink, which in also in terms helped me lose some weight, but as you can tell, I am drinking. Yes, um, dedicated to been dedicated to really just work working out more and eating less and not drink it as much. So trying to keep my calorie and carbs intake to a minimum, I'm starting to realize even though I might I might eat a small meal, I'm not hungry. Right. So, like if I eat something small and put something on my stomach, I don't, I'm not hungry. And it's it's worked out in my favor that yesterday I had you know conduct with some rice steak, and I lost a pattern.
SPEAKER_00:Chipotle Chipotle.
SPEAKER_03:This place called uh salsa verde. So it's uh in Lower. So it's where I took my oh right off of Baltimore.
SPEAKER_00:Um right off of Baltimore uh Avenue. Yes, it's where I took my street.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's it's so it used to be called Cabal. So that's where I took on our first date and salsa brava. Sausa Brava, that's what it's called.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I don't know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_03:Sauce of Brava. Um right on yeah, right on uh is it right there though?
SPEAKER_00:Am I right?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, uh so you you know where you know what a Fridays is in Lawrence?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's it's right there. Uh to give you an idea where it is, is you know what Hooters is?
SPEAKER_04:It's in that it's not in that same thing, but it's like if you go to if you get to Hooters, you went too far. Okay, I think I know what you're gonna do. Um we went uh let me see you know because the Hooters and Arby's are right next to each other. We know the Arby's is further than the Hooters. That's a good question. No, my bad.
SPEAKER_03:If you if you go to the if you go to the Hooters and you go past the Hooters, it's gonna be on your right. So once you go past the Hooters, you'll see sauce of Verida. So you gotta go past it, you'll see the aha, the hooters, all that to I mean the aha, arby's, whatever, to your left. And the sauce of verida is gonna be right on your right when you're getting towards those two places.
SPEAKER_04:I uh yes.
SPEAKER_03:I know you're I know you're a little further than that.
SPEAKER_00:No, I'm Google mapping it. I'm just trying to remember if it's where I thought it was.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so it's it's past the hooters, but it's like the very next you'll see like once you pass the hooters, you start looking to your your right, you'll be like, oh, sauce of every yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. See, I was trying to when you were when you said hooters, I was like, yo, is it going back towards where um oh I'm lost. Um yes, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. For the movie theater and all that shit stuff. So it's right where um it's right where um it's right where um fuck was Silver Diner around the area where it used to be at.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_00:I knew I did.
SPEAKER_04:But yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I um I used to yeah. Yeah, I used to live in Lawrence, so yeah, just to frequent that area. Used to frequent that area. But um congrats, man. Like I like uh I love to hear it, man. Um I've been doing the same thing, uh limiting uh intake and then exercise and more.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Trying to uh now that didn't help my A1C because you know your A1C is your what's that, your three-month blood sugar or whatever. So for the three months prior to that, I had been like one 250. Oh geez. So when they did my A1C, they were like, Yeah, you're at 4.6. I was like, oh, so I'm right on the cuff again. I mean uh 6.4, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:It's like you right on the cuff again. I said, Yeah. I said, you know, that you know, I and I already know that's that was what I've been doing for the last three months. So now I just gotta do better going forward to drop it down.
SPEAKER_00:What you will, what you will show your wife was on your ass about that. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, nonetheless, you know, because she was like, Oh Lord, how do you get it down? I said, Well, you know, in the next three months, I just gotta reduce the stuff now. It doesn't it doesn't work in the way that most people think it does, but you know what you mean like oh you lost weight, it should be going down. I said, Well, once the old blood cycles out, I still have to, even though I've lost the weight, I still have to reduce the intake of what I was taking in.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So even though I might be losing weight, if I'm still drinking a bunch of sugary stuff, my A1C is not gonna drop. So there, you know, there is change I have to make. And losing weight is just one of those ones where it gets more of the glucose out of your system. It'd be one thing if I was 250 and it said it was 4.6 and I lost start losing the weight. It's a different thing to say it's 4.6 and I've already lost the weight.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah. You live, you learn. Yeah, you live and you learn, you and you learn to live. I mean, shit.
SPEAKER_00:Listen, uh it's getting to the point where I'm uh I'm I'm I'm I'm I need new pants because the motherfuckers looking weird on me. As far as like uh as far as like uh you know me filling them in and shit. So it's a good it's a good problem to have, but I'm like, yo, I don't feel like also me, I don't feel like buying no clothes.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:If you loan your girlfriend 10K, are you expecting that back?
SPEAKER_04:My girlfriend?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, your girlfriend.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, of course. If you loaned your wife 10k, are you expecting that back? No. Let's say the story.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, you already know why I'm gonna say I wouldn't expect it back from my wife.
SPEAKER_00:No, I'm expecting I'm I'm expecting that. It depends on what it is, and we'll see if uh with in the scenario, we'll see if you if your answer is still the same. But this this is a guy's girlfriend, he definitely should be getting this back. But let's hit a story. Yeah, he said he needs some insight on uh my girlfriend of six years and a loan that hasn't been paid back. We have a good relationship, but we recently have been facing one or two issues. We've we've uh what we've also kind of realized our financial values are slightly different, of course. Where she is more generous with her money, with gifts, money is shared around her family a lot more than mine. That's that's my situation, actually. However, however, overall she finds it hard to save. I am the opposite. I am more on the frugal side, similar to my family, and have been able to save a decent enough amount of money to try and buy my first house. Income-wise, we also are on our on somewhat different figures. I earned roughly two to 2.5 times more than she does. As for the issue with the loan, I have loaned her approximately 10K a little over a year ago to help her buy a car, which she really wanted. She had also somewhat fallen on hard times and couldn't have afforded the car without my loan. Fast forward to the present, she's been in a good job for the last eight months. However, to me, it seems like she doesn't have much intention on paying the loan back. When I initially loaned her the money, I was very, very clear it was a loan, and I would want that amount paid back at a later date. And what she enthusiastically agreed. Three years of dating and planning a future together, I have I have the utmost, I had the utmost uh trust in her. After bringing the subject up recently, she has been saying she's been blindsided. She thinks since we are planning a future together and our money will be pulled even eventually, she shouldn't have to pay it back. This was this has really led to the question. This has really led me to question the different financial values we have. I'm trying to figure it out. If I'm an asshole by asking her to pay it back, to pay back the original amount in which I loaned her a year ago. I told her once she has paid me back, the car will be transferred into her name.
SPEAKER_04:If it's my girlfriend, I'm gonna need I'm gonna need them coins back.
SPEAKER_03:I don't really say if it was my wife, I loan you ten thousand, I don't expect it back.
SPEAKER_00:No, yo, come on, man.
SPEAKER_03:I was I was explaining to the wife. Oh now, and he loaned her the money because she wanted to do all this other shit. Yeah, I'm gonna need I'm gonna need that ten thousand back. And then don't try to guilt me and to well, you know, we're planning, we're planning on having a planning on sticking around enough so she ain't have to pay that shit. You know what planning means? It it is not what we're doing right now. We could be planning to do a whole bunch of shit, but are we that right now? So I'm gonna need them coins.
SPEAKER_00:Here's where I kind of uh differ, even if that was my wife, right? I'm already in a situation where me and her got different financial uh uh values and shit like that. I feel like yo, when it comes to certain things, yeah, my money is your money and stuff like that. But I also know me and I work hard. I also save, I do the things that I'm supposed to do that most adults don't do. So let's just say I'm hitting uh I'm getting money on returns from stocks, parlays, and investments and shit like that.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_00:I earned that, but you can't even do the basic stuff. So if it's gonna be 10K, if it's like$500, I'm not really expecting to get that back. 10K for a car that you want, you don't even have to get this car. It's a car that you want, and you agree. Come on now. 10K. I'm gonna need that, I'm gonna need that back. Like I earn I still earn the money and I'm already taking care of you. That's just that's I'm looking at it from only solely my perspective. I'm already taking care of you. At this point, I feel like you're trying to you treating me like a sucker, like I get whatever I want, type shit. There's no like let me actually try to pay him back. It's been three years.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, it's been three years, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:No, but no, no, I'm sorry. It wasn't three years. He said fast forward, how long he said?
SPEAKER_03:I think he said three years.
SPEAKER_00:No, they've been together for three years, three years of dating and planning a future together. Fast forward, it's been uh she's been she's been in a good job for the last eight months. Even if it's eight months, let's just say it's been a year, like it's been a year, like even if it's not the full 10k, you ain't gonna be 500 towards it, 100 is to this, this, this, and this. I mean, 10k is a lot of no matter no matter how you slice it, that's a lot of money. Because he's now different if it's like 10k, sweetheart. You want to go to culinary school? But he's been giving I'm not expecting that back. 10k is going towards this, this, and this. It's certain things I'm me personally, I'm not expecting it back because you're my wife. A car that you want, the type of car that you want, not that you need you want. And it's because you're not doing the right thing with your money. If we doing like if we're doing if they're doing this 50-50 thing, right, hypothetically, because they ain't say they're doing 50-50, but it seems like she still goes to work, she ain't at home. You know what I mean? That boyfriend and girlfriend, but you get what I mean. I can't just I just can't slide with 10k and you will work an adult as well. That doesn't make any sense to me for a car like like let's just say it's for Mercedes, and I gotta fucking drive in a fucking, you know what I mean? I'm I'm in a camera and you wanted the Mercedes. I gave you 10k for that. I'm being responsible with my money, and it's just like I don't know, that's just me.
SPEAKER_03:I mean because it because even in the thing, he he he's been giving her money over time, and it ended up equaling out to 10k, right?
SPEAKER_00:No, this is 10k for a personal loan to get a car. He had he just had 10k. Like, here you go.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:My girlfriend, I'm no, your girl, you're getting that money back. We we I know we agree on that. Well, well, I'm I'm spicing things up. Your wife.
SPEAKER_03:My wife, if she if I had 10 gates 10k sitting around and she said she wanted another car for whatever reason, this type of car she wasn't, it was 10 grand. I mean, at the end of the day, I'm probably not tripping about it because I'm probably gonna get that back.
SPEAKER_00:From who?
SPEAKER_03:From however I got the original 10k, I'll probably get that back.
SPEAKER_00:No, no, no. Ain't say all that. I mean hypothetical, you could you save you save for you save for that. Like, like I said, you save for that, you did what you had to do. Let's just say you was working two fucking jobs.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I mean, I well, I'm I guess I'm looking at it from the perspective. I know my wife, if I gave my wife 10 grand to get a car, she's gonna be like, Well, I'm gonna pay you back some money, regardless, because you know that 10k can't be used for something else. But just knowing her, I know that she'll she might not pay me 10 grand back, but she'll start paying me something because she'll be like, Yeah, nah, because you know, she respects you and and she knows that you ain't had to do it.
SPEAKER_00:That's that's that's what I'm getting at. Yeah, me, but maybe of course I'm gonna expect all my money back, and that's only because it's one of those things you did not need the car. This is a car that you wanted, and it was 10K. I was the difference between you getting it was 10k. Right. No, granted, if I got the however I got the 10k, yeah, it's sitting there, but you don't know why it's sitting there, yeah. So, and maybe the reason why I loaned it to you is because I was expecting you to get it back, and the reason why I said it is a loan is because I actually need it back.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I mean, there's other ways they could have gone about it. His girlfriend, you're like, come on now, 10k 10k to go to a car. Me and the wife would have had to have a nice discussion, like, so 10k. Well, how much is the bank giving you for this long? Oh, well, they only can give me this much. So I in my head, I'm like, So I'm making up the difference, or am I paying the whole thing? Like it, because that makes a difference too. It's like, all right, well, the bank can only give me 7,000 and it's gonna cost such and such amount. Do you mind you know, loaning me a little bit of money so that I can still get the car? It's like, all right, you know, sure.
SPEAKER_00:You're saying the key word loan though. So now, if your wife says, You mind giving to me, I'm not gonna pay you back. Can I get this 10k?
SPEAKER_03:Well, I guess that's another conversation.
SPEAKER_00:Now I'm looking at to hear it that way, but that's how I hear it. It's like, yo, if she ain't gonna pay me back, I need to these this needs to be I need to hear this first that I'm not getting paid back, or else you disrespect me.
SPEAKER_03:Well, let's let's ask a source here.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god. Um, I'm I'm just listening.
SPEAKER_03:Mrs. Smith, you want a car now? Mind you, it's a it's a car that you want, not that you need, like he said, so you could have got something cheaper.
SPEAKER_01:I'm the one to ask because I stay within my means.
SPEAKER_03:I'm just saying, let's say you just need the 10K. And you're like, babe, are you asking me to take are you asking me for a loan, or are you asking, can I just give it to you? And once that happens, are your intentions to pay me back, or is it just to take the 10k?
SPEAKER_01:Knowing how you are, let's start with that. I know I would have to ask for a loan, and I know I would have to pay it back.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, there you have it. I did, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Or we can barter, but I mean, you know, not enough bartering world, man. But I like I told her, even like when she takes something out the bar, the only way I'm asking you to put it back is if you say you're putting it back.
SPEAKER_00:And I that's what I and that's what I'm saying, being being up front. Um I'm um I can make my dis I don't I can make decisions if you're up front. You know what I mean? Like I'm cool with the decision I made if I know everything up front. But don't 10k is a lot of money. I'm just saying, like even if you even if you're making uh let's just say you're making$200,000 a year and you just have 10k, obviously you you you how could I put it? Obviously, you're in a mind, you in a space where that 10k gets you certain things, you know what I mean? Right, yeah. So the 10k for you, like that might be some play money, and then you get to you know play around with this, this, this, and this. But now I don't get the play because you wanted something. Yeah, it's uh it's to me personally.
SPEAKER_03:Um, it's it's showing um of course it's showing a selfish side of her, but it's it's I mean the wife knows I'm gonna I'm gonna ask her every avenue of how can she get this 10k? Oh, actually, we'll pay me back before I even yeah, look at you know how many times I've been in situations even before I gave her the 10k, it'll be like, so did you go to the banks? Did you do this? Did you do this? Have you been? She knows I'm gonna go through a whole checklist of things before I'm like, all right, well, I got 10k sitting if you need it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you know, I don't I don't leave with that. It's been times, let me tell you why. And and and in person, my experience, I've I would uh sometimes I would hate to loan her money because it'll be like, I'll loan her the money, she'll say she'll pay it back. Like, this is her saying it because she knows that it's not fair for her to keep asking for shake of shame doing the right shit with her money, and now we'll ask, like, hey, I I know you don't do the right shit with your money. How are you gonna pay me back? Is it gonna be one of those situations where you pay me back and you be like, uh, I don't have enough money for gas, and then it's a trickle-down effect, and I'm actually just paying you for the the privilege of paying me back, and it's just like now I'm paying for all this other shit that I was never paying for, like hair and nails and gas and food, and my mom needs this, and I ain't got no extra money, and now I'm like, Hold the fuck up, like I'd rather you I'm not getting paid back then. If this is gonna be what it's gonna be, so sometimes you run into situations like that where it's just like, well, shit, I loaned her 500, but now I actually spent 600 this month on doing her extra shit that she can't pay back.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I think I've only actually ever asked my wife for money back if when she asked me I needed it for something very specific, like I had to pay something, and I'm like, um, I can loan it to you, but I'm gonna need it back because of this, this, and this. So, you mean I'll get it back to you. But if I don't need it for anything and it's just money laying around, yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I'd just be like, But it's also a limit to that money laying around shit. Because as a as a man in my household, I I know what I'm responsible for. So it's like you can't take away from that, then you know what I mean? Like, I can't allow you, I can't even allow myself to give you this because I know it's gonna put me this way. Like, if I'm paying the mortgage and I'm paying other things, uh, you're not gonna tap too much into my free fuck around money, and you damn sure not tap tapping into the mortgage money. So if that just got paid or I just did some, this is how much I can give you. And if it ain't gonna work, then oh well. But there's a to me, I don't know what that I don't know what that amount is where I don't ask for it back. No, I do know what amount. If it's 10k, I'm asking for it back. Uh 10k, Mr.
SPEAKER_03:Smell.
SPEAKER_00:I gotta get that back, man.
SPEAKER_03:You want that 10k back? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I mean it's taken too.
SPEAKER_02:I think everyone takes the fuck you mean. I need you to run them coins, nigga.
SPEAKER_00:And it's not even an offer disrespectfulness about it, like yo, we married, I'ma get this shit back. It might take me two, three years, right? I'm getting that back, but just know you're not just gonna walk off with that. I worked for, I gotta deal with them fuck ass motherfuckers that work and shit like that. I gotta deal with traffic, I gotta deal with this and this and that. I gotta restrain myself from punching somebody in the face.
SPEAKER_03:I need I need that 10k back now that I know my wife wants her money back. You knew the answer already. You just waited for her to answer.
SPEAKER_00:You knew the answer. Don't do me like that. You knew the answer.
SPEAKER_03:It's 10k.
SPEAKER_01:I try to be like 10k.
SPEAKER_00:I'm not saying 30 or 40 dollars, it's like yo, it is, it is what it is. I'm not saying that, or 50 or 100 or 200. That's 10k. Yeah, all right.
SPEAKER_03:Uh change my hands, make double. No, I mean that's what it's good to know that if if she was rich and famous and I asked her for 10k, she's gonna want that shit back. So I never know. No, no, no, no. That's a different level.
SPEAKER_00:That is a different level. That is a different level.
SPEAKER_03:I would have to ask for like more like 500,000.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's you see you see that's that's some stupid shit right there. You asked for five hundred thousand, and she let's just say she what do you need with that? So that's my number one answer. What is I mean, he already knew it was going for the car. What you need, what you need a half a million dollars for?
SPEAKER_03:Like, yeah, I guess if I if I was uh someone who was well off, rich, whatever, however much, and Mrs. Smith said, Yeah, um, do you mind if I get 500,000? I'm gonna look at it like so. What you need 500,000 for?
SPEAKER_00:Listen, even if he was a millionaire, you're asking that question. You're asking that question. If he was a millionaire, you're asking that question. If he was a uh if he was Steph Curry with the hundreds of millions that he have, you're asking that question. That's not something light.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I mean 500,000. I I have to ask, are you are you playing the league?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, well, that does sound like that do sound like startup money. It's not like startup money money. That's not like startup. Yo, but it's a some women's it could be start over money too. Like you just never know.
SPEAKER_03:I'm not just giving that willy is is condo start over money if you need your down payment.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, nah. Is I I move my shit out. I'm already working. I just needed down the it could be an apartment. I did I needed the first and the last, I needed four thousand dollars. I got four thousand dollars. I moved my shit out, furnished the shit, boom. I'm already working.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, if you're gonna ask me for 10k and you're trying to start over, at least be owning the condo you're about to go to for the down payment that's not okay.
SPEAKER_00:She started over.
SPEAKER_03:I didn't even know financial advice. I'm just wondering the money. If the whole game is like, oh, I gotta get out of here, and I'm gonna ask him for this money, he's just gonna give it to me. I need I wanna then at least put it to so or something that you're gonna benefit from later on, yeah. Like, not that the car she couldn't benefit from.
SPEAKER_00:Well, that benefit a to b sometimes the like Amazon. That is it, that's what you benefit from the car. Like for men, uh, there's other benefits. I uh you know, hey, yeah, I'm starting with this, I'm gonna get this is the bait. But for women, it's just like that's it, A to Z, as it should be. Like, you just want to look good in the car. I get that. This is the type of car you want, I get that. But no one is impervious to feeling that way, but asking for 10k and be like, Oh, I feel blindsided, and when he told you, it is alone, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:He did say it was alone, and that and he did lead off with that, and it is just his girlfriend. I mean, I I'm always harping off the it was his girlfriend.
SPEAKER_00:If if my girlfriend wanna agree with that, you want to I had to throw the like your spouse. I had to, I had to if it was our spouse, I had to put that in there.
SPEAKER_03:I I see it as if if my girlfriends ask me for 10k.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you know what? I'm I might actually leave her because why would you ask me if we just boyfriend a girlfriend for 10k? See, it's it's like my spidey senses like she about this is she about to set me up for the uh I don't I I it's just not feeling the same, and I never get my money back. Have you already been feeling this way? And then you're like, yo, I might as well just give like at least a car that I want out of this motherfucker. That's what you gotta think about nowadays. Can you say it louder, please, so we can hear you?
SPEAKER_02:She said if a woman wants to leave.
SPEAKER_01:If she wants to leave, she's gonna leave.
SPEAKER_02:Like, yeah, sometimes they like to leave a gift.
SPEAKER_01:But no, not necessarily the breakup and how bad it is. If she wants to leave, fuck that 10 case you will leave you. She just gonna flat out, leave you, have a plan and a roll out.
SPEAKER_00:I agree. I don't want my money to be a part of that plan though. That's that's all I'm saying. I I want her to leave. I want her, I want her to write a note and leave it on the nice name. I was like, it's not you, it's me. I just don't want my money to be a part of that. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03:You don't uh understand what you're saying.
SPEAKER_01:I'm just thinking if a woman is fed up and she's ready to leave you, ain't no way she's gonna ask you for 10,000 so you that you can come looking for her and before bothering her, harassing her, and even suing her, and taking her to court over that 10,000. If she don't want nothing else to do with you, she's gonna roll out and figure it out.
SPEAKER_00:It ain't nothing to block a motherfucker and move to another state, right?
SPEAKER_03:I've heard some stories of stories. I I asked him for this and I already knew it wasn't working, but he gave it to me, so I and I dipped out after that, and I was like, oh, that's interesting, but okay, yeah. But I mean, if if the relationship is good and she asked me for 10k, it's different. But if I know there's been Rocky, and all of a sudden, I really want this this thing, and I'm gonna get 10k, and then all of a sudden you start you just ghost, and I never hear from you again.
SPEAKER_00:That's like, well, damn, like I already knew we were Rocky, but I'm out of the day off the rip, homie played is smart because the car is in his name. Oh, so he still brought the car. Isn't it? He said I would transfer it over once I get my money back. That's what he said. That's that's that's what he said.
SPEAKER_02:Hey, look, it can't even be mad at that.
SPEAKER_00:He said for if my the car is in my name, which is my security. I told her once she has paid me back, the car will be transferred into her name. That's what he left off with. That's like not an asshole.
SPEAKER_03:That's like 500k. Oh 500, um, yeah, 500k. I just want to get uh another house somewhere. Well, okay. I get that house.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, that'll push it. But you know what you get?
SPEAKER_03:You get 10k.
SPEAKER_01:I need pocket money. That is not if you got little my pocket now.
SPEAKER_00:Why didn't that? Hold up. Why is it not money?
SPEAKER_01:What if I want to go stop and what if I want to have money?
SPEAKER_00:It goes back to what I said. Yo, if I comment to some money, I'm just not saying anything right away. Just not saying nothing right away. Let me take you all as responsible for it.
SPEAKER_01:If you know you hit the lottery or become a millionaire, just go ahead and bless your wife. So that's why you're gonna have no issues at all. I will not protect him from the blessing and just that's it. And then when she asks questions, we like don't even ask no more questions.
SPEAKER_03:I think the best way to bless my wife if I came into a whole bunch of money of millions or billions, uh um, is I pay off all the bills, and when I give her the numbers for how much she owes and she sees as little less, there's your blessing.
SPEAKER_01:No, nigga. That's gonna be the next question. Thank you for paying off everything. I don't even need to know where the money came from. Put you on cash at me. Put it on the cash.
SPEAKER_03:We'll start a save plan.
SPEAKER_01:No, I know not that save.
SPEAKER_00:You just gonna have to do all that on your own and then be like, here's okay, what's just some money? Just give her what you feel like you need to give her. I don't already doing the wrong thing by telling her everything. You already gonna look out for her, you already won't pay bills and this, this, and that. Y'all gonna get a nice, a nice house, and you're gonna set her up with a car and it's we'd have paid off all the debt that we owe.
SPEAKER_03:I put it that way. Then it'll be like, all right, well, let's put my pocket.
SPEAKER_01:That's fine.
SPEAKER_00:Your pocket is the pocket, it's fine. I ain't I ain't got nothing to do with it. I'm not saying you would use this, but at the same time, my rights about some 10,000 is too too little to be like, yo, come on, man. You need to have this.
SPEAKER_01:Let's say if I wanted to fly over to Italy and go shopping over in Italy or something and do some shit I ain't never done.
SPEAKER_02:I'm coming with you and we're gonna figure out I'm on as I will go with you and we're gonna figure out and then it will still come out of I want my own money. Listen, come out of my go.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I don't mind her getting her own money off the chat. I don't mind giving her own money because I understand the the the the the the the feeling of like yo, I'm doing this on my own, not on my own, but the un I don't have to I understand the feeling of her not wanting to feel like she's being uh she's being watched like a child or something like that. So yeah, I am not opposed.
SPEAKER_02:What you mean? Because I'm clumsy.
SPEAKER_01:What he's doing.
SPEAKER_00:What I'm doing. So right, right, right. I don't want I don't want her to feel like shit. I don't want her to feel that way. So yes.
SPEAKER_02:What if I only got four million and 10k is what I'm like, all right. Here's 10k.
SPEAKER_00:Yo, see that's the thing. Four, I'm not giving you a million dollars from four million. I'm just not doing that.
SPEAKER_03:Because by the time I done paid everything off and paid the taxes on it too, it might only be um one point one point five million, and it's like, well, if I give you 500, that's half the money.
SPEAKER_00:Like, I'm I'm blessing my wife. She's not getting half. I'm blessing her though.
SPEAKER_04:How about what about 30k?
SPEAKER_01:I'm walking that type of money, y'all get controlling off of that.
SPEAKER_03:I wouldn't need to be controlling, it would be all right, babe, I did this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this. Now, four I and I say four million because four million is not enough for anyone to quit their job. It's not enough for us to be like, all right, we we we we rich and we made it, we still gotta go to work. We're just now cushion. So after everything's paid to allow us to be cushion and say money, then it's like, all right, well, look, we got this 1.5 that's still here after I paid off everything that we need to make stretch. So me giving you some of it, like 30k, 40k is like, all right, here's 40k for your pocket.
SPEAKER_01:So the rest of this is kind of 1.5 left after paying everything off, right? Right, and we still gotta go to work. Why can't I get like a hundred thousand?
SPEAKER_00:I can give you that. Yeah, so right.
SPEAKER_01:You talking about 10,000. What is that?
SPEAKER_02:Well, because I'm looking at it from a very frugal standpoint, but we're also we're also still the protector and provider.
SPEAKER_01:But I'm looking at both of y'all's faces, so I put it down to 100, but I'll take up the 250,000. Like, you got 1.5.
SPEAKER_02:What you gonna do with 250,000?
SPEAKER_01:You you're gonna get that's called pocket money.
SPEAKER_02:Yo, you know, I turn around and be like, you know what, this ain't working, and now she got it down.
SPEAKER_01:No, no, that's not true. But now I might go get a beat.
SPEAKER_00:You're trying to shame us for trying to be careful with the money that we won to say, you know, you need to be giving me more.
SPEAKER_03:But no, but you gotta understand from our standpoint. We're not saying we don't want to, it's the caution that we have because once let's say we give you the money, and all of a sudden now you know I have this money, you get your startup to go live somewhere else. Oh, I ain't even worried about that. I'm worried about her all that ass.
SPEAKER_00:I'm worried about spending her spending the money and saying, I need some more money. That's what I'm worried about.
SPEAKER_02:I'm just looking, I'm looking at it from every standpoint of all the stories I done heard.
SPEAKER_03:I done heard a woman accuse her husband of cheating, never found out her husband wasn't cheating, but still left him and took half his stuff because he had a lot of money. And it's just like, well, just looking at these stories, I'm just like, if I give you this, you're asking me for, well, what do you want this amount for? Like, what is it in the world for 250,000 that you I get money?
SPEAKER_00:Okay, I I okay, I'll I'll I'll put it this way I ain't win the money, but I'm worth this money. Uh, you you met me and I had this money. I'm just doing well off. You think that I should be giving you 250 a year?
SPEAKER_01:No, not a year. If you have it, so let's you're already gonna be living in that lifestyle with me. But how do you know I don't have some business ventures that I'm gonna start?
SPEAKER_00:Talk to me about it. Don't just say I need the money. Talk to me about it.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, what you're saying, you're saying blindly, I'm like, well, oh, what do you need? Oh, I want to start this thing. Okay, cool. Here's the money.
SPEAKER_03:Like, I'm not saying I'm not saying I would never not let's just like when I said original, I'm like, well, for 10k, I'm not really tripping off of it if I have it. But hey, you know, I kind of want to really ramp up my business that I got, and I think I need about 10, maybe 100k to really be able to market that okay.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, here you go.
SPEAKER_03:Here's the here's the money in the back of it here.
SPEAKER_01:You go So, what's the difference between business money and pocket money?
SPEAKER_00:No, it's the it's the communication part. I don't know what the F it's for. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So I have to say it's for business venture. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_00:You could you could tell me whatever you want to go talk. I want that new Bentley truck. Can it's cost this? Can I have this to get yeah? Here you go. This is all you get. We don't have any more money outside of the Bentley truck. This is you want that?
SPEAKER_01:Hey, I'm just not understanding. Okay, if I say, all right, I want this for my pocket so I can do X, Y, and Z. Okay, here's 100%. But you but you gave me the XYZ. If I get a business idea and I need this, then you'll give it to me if I label it as a business idea.
SPEAKER_00:It better be not label it, it has to be.
SPEAKER_02:What I'm saying is that no matter what you tell me, you could be going use it to use whatever you want to do.
SPEAKER_01:It doesn't even matter, but if I'm asking you for it and I know you have it and it's within reason, why why do I need to say, oh, it's for this versus this? If I ask for it for business venture, you'll give me the most that I'm asking for. But if I say it's this just for my pocket, then you wanna give me 10 grand. You could have said, No, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_00:We're not saying we just give you 10 grand. The 10 grand came about because of the the car. That's how much he gave her. That's how much he gave her. But if it's if we're millions upon millions of dollars, it's gonna be more than 20.
SPEAKER_03:No, we're gonna give you more than 10k. What I'm saying is for him in this article, the way I would have looked at it was I gave you if you're asking me for this money, just outright just saying, Hey, I want this amount of money in my head, like you said, if a woman wants to leave, she's gonna leave. And we said, Yeah, because that's gonna be their startup money. If I've earned this money or won this money, and you're asking me for this money, and then all of a sudden you're gone, that's money lost.
SPEAKER_04:That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_01:No one's saying, No, not not true.
SPEAKER_03:We we're not saying you're leaving.
SPEAKER_01:I'm saying that's period. Like you keep saying you take it as startup money and roll out.
SPEAKER_03:That was but that was the thought that we that was the the thought before we actually got into this conversation was what if you gave the money and it was for them to restart their lives and leave? That was that part of the conversation, yeah. Yeah that's how we got into into that, like in us in our heads just thinking when you ask for someone to ask for a large chunk of money. Now, if you're like, hey, well, baby, you know, you're paying off all the bills and everything else, and you you know, it's like, well, I want to go shopping, and I'm I need you to go out of my pockets, it's like all right, well, how much you need? Because at that point, it's not like, oh, here's 200,000, it's well, okay, well, how much you need? Uh, I need about 50k. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01:See, it's one keeps getting lower though.
SPEAKER_02:Well, no, that's just an example of instead of me, you you want me to give you money.
SPEAKER_03:But what I'm what I'm saying is is that if if if I told you today I done won 300 million dollars or whatever, and I paid off everything, and you're like, Oh, hey, cool, you're gonna give me an amount that you want. You're gonna say, Oh, well, let me get about 50k.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, again, that would be a good one. Here you go.
SPEAKER_00:So, my whole thing is like if I won the money, it's still my job to protect and provide. I I'm uh and if I've done a good job with that, I'm gonna do a good job with millions of dollars. So if I already and I'm only going based off of my personal experience because my wife ain't good with money sometimes, and this guy's girlfriend ain't good with money. I'm not giving you a lot of money just for you to be like, I need some more money. Because I'm gonna be like, yo, what the fuck just happened? Oh, I loaned some money to my sister and that's not what it was for. That's my whole thing, so it has nothing to do with how much she I feel like she deserves or not deserves or anything like that. I still didn't make sure that we are good to go because I've been tasked with protecting and providing protecting and foundation. That's all I'm saying. I'm I'm not saying she my wife will not get any money, she's just not getting all that money.
SPEAKER_03:It's not like that 50. You might have acting for 50k next week. Doesn't mean that if you circle back around in a couple months and say, Oh, I seen this and I want to go get this. Can I get 50k? That she won't get another 50k.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:This isn't like a one, all right. Look, this it I know I got, I know I got 200.
SPEAKER_00:At some point, it's gonna have to be a this it because uh we're gonna have to we're gonna need to retire.
SPEAKER_02:Now, if you if you if you come around and say I need a hundred mil a hundred thousand dollars because I want to go on this trip, I'm gonna be like, well, good, we're going on this trip.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. And we're gonna see how we can get this shit under 60. That's the 60k.
SPEAKER_02:There's no reason it's gotta be a hundred K. Like, let look, let me look on the T-Mobile app and see if we get some reduced flight. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, look, protecting and providing, yeah. That's all that's all I'm saying. And I'm only speaking from uh from the standpoint of just my experience, like my wife, for no reason, she she just has the ability to pick the most expensive thing, whatever. She doesn't know it's expensive, I don't know it's expensive, but her first choice is expensive. So if I allow that to happen, that that millions is they that's that's gone soon.
SPEAKER_03:I will say this that I uh if I did come into money like that. Now, if we were good to go out somewhere, I wouldn't be as cruel. I'll just get whatever you want. I'll be like that, but I wouldn't just willy-nilly spend it on just random stuff.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, my wife would though. I I know my wife.
SPEAKER_03:My wife would I mean as you can tell, my wife would too because she she like she said, she's never had that type of money before. So she would want to buy stuff she's never had before.
SPEAKER_00:That's no, so that's so that part is fine, but I want her, I would want my I would want her to be smart with the decisions because it's kind of like yo, once in a lifetime situation we in, we can make this stretch, we can live comfortable. Let's not let's not fuck it up with just buying a bunch of random shit and shit that we really don't need. Like I want, I want to travel, I want to uh eat at nice restaurants, I want to do all those things as often as I can, possibly forever. You know what I mean? So let's figure out how that works. But that doesn't work with like all right, we you going to Paris and you're gonna fuck up Chanel and then Louis Vuitton and then this, this, and this, and I'm out of like what a quarter of a million dollars for stuff for that season, and then the new season comes and you're like, damn, I like that shit too. Nah, that was a once-in-a-lifetime shopping trip. You're done. I didn't even go do that.
SPEAKER_03:That's my whole because that's how I would look at it. It's like, all right, well, we and that's why I said four million. Four million is enough at this point in our lives to live comfortable. We technically, if we spend it right, four million will last us for the rest of our lifetime.
SPEAKER_00:Not lasting y'all for the rest of y'all life.
SPEAKER_03:Technically, it could if you do it right.
SPEAKER_00:Yo, Miss Smith wants 50k. It's not, it's not, it's not last.
SPEAKER_03:I'm saying, I'm just saying, like off the off the strength, you get 40, 40, 4 mil, right?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:After we pay off that house, any other debt that we have, and we're all debt free, right? Then the rest of that, you know, once because now at that point, we have to sell this house and move to another house because that's gonna be our last home. So we gotta go to that, we're gonna sell we gotta sell this house wherever it is, and then move to something that we can, you know, manage. And then from there, it'll be so we won't have any cardinals, it'll just be maintenance on the cars, everything else. Now, could we go and go traveling and all these other things and like it's no like we have no other responsibilities? No, of course not. Why not? Not on four mail.
SPEAKER_00:Well, you're not making your money work for you, and that's what I mean. That's what I mean by like, yo, like you can't just do the shop. I can't even do that. I'm not, you know.
SPEAKER_03:Well, every idea I've given her, like, I was like, Well, if I did win this amount of money and all this other stuff, we should rent this house out that we live in. She said, I don't want to do that, I want to sell it because I I don't want to have to like worry about tenants and the house staying up the car and buy management company. And I'm like, we can get a management company. Well, why would we do that? We're gonna pay. I'm like, so I look at it as instead of us making it.
SPEAKER_00:You can make your money back in a in like a couple years from the house that you would have sold it for, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03:And that's what I was saying. Well, you know, it I've I've done it once when I lived in Bladensburg, blah, blah. I'm like, all right, well, so there goes that idea of making it work for us.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, you can really high interest, high uh yield uh interest yield account. Like you can always do that. If it might require you to sacrifice a mill to sit in the bank while y'all live off of interest, and that interest off of like depending on what's what, you could probably be getting like 50k from that a year. Maybe 60.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So it's kind of like it's one of those things where it can definitely work. It's just y'all gotta be on the everybody gotta be on the same page. But yeah, that's why like even with the the shopping, it's just kind of like depending on how much it is, it's kind of like yo, it might be beneficial to not do all that right now. Maybe the third year into the the money making some money. Now you can have your you could have your uh your spouse for money, like Mrs. Mrs. Wade can have her money because this is the money that's coming off an interest account. And I, you know what I mean? We living off of that. Well, you want a monthly stipend of about ten thousand dollars. Now that sounds more lucrative than like, yo, can I get fifty thousand dollars every now and then? Like, that's why I said the protect and provide shit. Like, let me let me do what I know how to do or what I've been doing, and this is how it's gonna work. You're just gonna have to sacrifice three years of you not getting everything that you want. Let's set this shit up, let it occur some interest, let it you know, compound.
SPEAKER_03:Because I was like, if we get four million, we pay off this house, and we just go and buy another house to go live in, this house could work for us because in the area that we in, we could get two thousand a month off of it, and all we're doing is paying the taxes on it, paying another company to manage the property for us. So they're gonna take what a couple hundred dollars. We would end up making per month and just profits before we gotta file taxes on it. Give or take. Maybe twelve hundred a month. And I'm like, that is that is where all of our other how we pay off other bills and we don't technically have to work, and we could just run our businesses and do it and run our businesses, pretty much, versus having to go to work. But the way I see it ain't the way that she sees it.
SPEAKER_00:She she brings up a valid point. She's uh, you know, like we talked about it before, like women feel like one once uh the reason why they gotta work is because they don't want to be controlled by a man. It's just kind of like I get that aspect, and some men do that, use money to control a woman, and that's why y'all feel like y'all got to. I would never want my woman to feel that way. However, um I mean that doesn't mean you if that's the case, what makes you think you can control how much I get you? That doesn't even that part don't even make any sense. It's different where it's just like, yo, like I'm kept, I'm not working, I'm this, this, and this. You're just gonna I could be out there working, and it's just like you pay her not to work, but you're already working, right? So you can't have it all.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I mean, I just like I said, I just look, I I look at it from the the same way of she's like, Well, you know, some guys get the money can and be controlled.
SPEAKER_00:I'm like, well, yeah, yeah, I'm control I'm gonna I'm gonna control my money. I I got the it's not like she got it, and I'm trying to control her money through her, you know, through her, you know what I mean? I it's not one of those situations, right? I'm not control I won it or I earned my money, so yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I'm controlling my money, the money that I I had to put into. So yeah, enough I get it.
SPEAKER_00:I know it's a thing, I know it's a thin, not a thin line, I know it's a fine line between something like that, is just my number one fear. Like I'm I'm saying a bunch of stuff jokingly, but my number one fear is just like the fuck up a once in a lifetime situation like that. So I'm gonna be extra careful. I'm not even giving myself 10k to go shopping with. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, my issue is always gonna be you you funding their getaway, them them leaving.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, I do think about that, but it's it's more or less, it's more or less like if that was the case, uh the way I look at it with my wife, if that was the case, not my wife, let's just say a wife, because I won't put my shit like my I don't want to put that out there. If you do that, I'm glad I got rid of your ass. Thank you. Because you was never gonna make me happy in the long run, and something worse might have happened. So if it if it costs 10k, 100k for you to be like, all right, I'm leaving you, that's fine. That's fine.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it's gonna cost you more because now that she knows she's gonna want her half. And that's all that that that was what I was saying was like it's not a well sir.
SPEAKER_00:You set yourself up in a way where it's gonna be hard to do that. I ain't gonna say how you do it. We I've already named some stuff on this podcast before.
SPEAKER_03:My mama's name.
SPEAKER_00:Well, say hey, there's another way. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03:But uh put that shit in my mom's bank account. Mine, don't don't spend this, but it's in your bank account.
SPEAKER_00:It's in your name.
SPEAKER_03:I ain't got no money. Here's my bank records. They were like, uh, man, he's broke.
SPEAKER_04:Well, we don't see it.
SPEAKER_03:All right. But that like, she's like, Well, why would why would you? I said, in in my opinion, I've heard that same excuse from the same woman who who done took dudes to the cleaners. Oh, yeah, now he came with some money. I ain't gonna do that to him. Like, I'm not that type of girl. All of a sudden now, everything going wrong in a relationship, and you you want your coins.
SPEAKER_00:Or it's like he just acting this type of way, like it the money ain't being spent, or uh, most of the money ain't been spent on now. I'm like, yo, money is a tool. I I personally see money as like if I if it's managed the right way, I can buy back time. You know what I mean? Like, I ain't gotta do a bunch of shit. I ain't gotta cut the grass. You know what I mean? I'm looking at it that way. I can try and you I can do things, it's not necessarily what I the stuff I want to buy.
SPEAKER_03:So it's just kind of like and and and not that I think my wife would, but I've already stated that if I I am not an advocate for telling my wife I got that money. And mind you, last year, me and her weren't in a good place anyway. So if I had came into that money, it would have been like, all right, good, I can leave, give me half. And it's like, well, damn, I I made all this money. Now you you set for life, and I gotta probably pay y'all more.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, me and your me and your uh reasons are different, but they're not wrong. I I definitely see your point, and that's probably a reason why I wouldn't either. I'm basing it off of like, nah, she'll still stay because she wants she wants to stay for the rap. You know what I mean? Like, she, you know, she but I just don't trust the words. I just be looking at it like yo, I've seen what she do to money. I've seen like I'm just like, man, hell no. Hell no.
SPEAKER_03:I I I I done seen too many dudes get burnt that way, where it's like they they finally get their big pain job and they good, and they done found, you know, the wife is all happy, and now all of a sudden they're like, oh now we got divorced.
SPEAKER_00:Like I got I got my big pain job, and then like she turned around and like started acting funny, saying I was doing this, and then she's it's like stuff like that that goes to bite them in the ass because it's kind of like how much money you think, how long do you think you're gonna get a certain amount of money out of me? It's not forever. Well, alimony's forever. No, it's not. It is nah, it's for no. If you're I I believe if you're if you're working, yeah, it's reduced, and it's only for a certain amount of uh years that you were married. So let's just say if it was like, yo, she was making more than me, how would she get alimony?
SPEAKER_03:It's it they would base it off her off your net worth.
SPEAKER_00:It ain't that much because she makes more than me. That's what I'm getting at. Once everything I at some at some in some cases, alimony don't even sound right. What you want, a hundred dollars?
SPEAKER_03:Let's see. The length of alimony depends on the circumstance, also the state. Yeah, so if it's in Maryland, general circumstance is uh typically temporary, though it can be awarded indefinitely in rare cases.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So that means she would have to not be working, and kids, probably.
SPEAKER_00:Well that what a spouse, I mean that's uh that's uh uh child support.
SPEAKER_03:That's a different that's a different one, yeah. And that's only that's temporary, that's 18 years. Yeah, but it will be spousal support, like a lot of these women that divorce their superstar boyfriend, husband, whatever, I mean husbands or whatever, they get their alimony and they get the child support, but they don't work. So it never was working, it becomes the indefinite award of alimony the rest of your life.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So my wife works, and even though they be like, okay, well, she, you know, it would be one thing where I would have to get a good turn. Like, yeah, I won this money. I gotta split half with her. Can we come up with an agreement?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I got no agreement, then then yeah, but y'all should be able to settle that out of court, though. My my whole thing is there's no reason to even get lawyers involved. What's fair is fair. So let's just say I won it, right? And I I I know this is uh going against probably what the listeners are probably thinking I'm about to say. If I won it, I mean, yeah. It ain't like I earned it, earned it, have you know, with blood, sweat, and tears and shit. I could see her getting half. You know what I mean? Over whatever it is. Like if if that's what it, if that's what it was gonna be, because I didn't have the money yesterday. Now, if I earned this money, I'm working, I'm stacking, I'm putting stuff to the side, you see the direct deposits coming in, and you're working, and you want half of the money that's in that account that I work for, and you're working, and I'm paying all this other shit, that's gonna be a no-go. That's when I get lawyers involved and be like, yo, it can't be. And if she wanted half or whatever have you, I'm gonna be like, yo, I'm gonna need you to sign this post nup because uh if you're getting half, these are the things you can't come back at a later date and say and do or try to retrieve. Stuff like that. It's just like you can't, it's just like yo, you can't double dip like that. Like, oh, um you can't one minute say a woman and one minute can't say, you know, men like to control uh women with their money, but when things don't go their way, they want his money. So and I ain't even got a bunch of I you know, I ain't got millions of dollars. I'm just saying in general. We ain't even gonna say money, we say assets like cars and maybe the house or some shit like that. But I mean it gets tricky. Like that's I you know anybody in that situation, I just hope y'all can do the shit without the lawyers, because it ain't really that deep. Yeah, sometimes people just be wanting to hurt other people financially, and it's just like oh yeah, that sucks, but it's just like yo, you're supposed to be doing it to be happier with a new prospect, not like, oh, I'ma just clean them out and still be in the same boat emotionally, you know what I mean? Right.
SPEAKER_03:Uh I need these niggas to score some fucking touchdown or something.
SPEAKER_00:On that note, uh don't transfer that car over until you get your money.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:And if y'all break up, that's your car. That's your car. Thank everybody for listening, and uh see you next time.