According To Wes

Hot Cocoa, Cold Streets, And Colder Takes On Cheating

• Wes/Delaw

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A snow day sets the stage for a bigger story about work, home, and respect. We start with the real playbook for winter survival—shovel before sleet, salt smart, and only clear what you need to drive out. That everyday strategy opens into a sharper question: when one partner handles the house and the other clocks in, what does fairness actually look like? We share the unfiltered truth about telework theater, “emergency essential” policies, and why green dots don’t equal real effort.

DeLaw:

She was like, look, it's snowing. I'm I'm watching, I'm I'm I'm watching shit on the big TV. Mm-hmm. You better get all her watching now, cuz when she's done, it's gonna be 2K time.

Wes:

2K time. All this bullshit that you're doing, watch the bad girls club, watch whatever you need to watch on Zeus. Because when 2K time is time, it's time. The big TV got come back to uh to daddy to where it belongs. So it's rightful owner, right? Everybody, welcome to another episode of the According to West Podcast. As always, we have D Law here.

DeLaw:

You got D Law, the shoveling guy, because the wife didn't say she was just like, Oh, yeah, this there's no need to be shoveled. And I just look at her like, Why are you telling me? And then I remember. Are you the man of the house?

Wes:

You got me also the shoveling guy and didn't have hot cocoa when I came in.

DeLaw:

Look, I didn't look no hot chocolate made, no tea, no nothing. Just can you go? Oh, uh, do you mind uh putting my windshield wipers up?

Wes:

What that should have been done like that's that's on you because that should have been done last night.

DeLaw:

I was like, all right, whatever. Uh but when she said it to me in my head, I'm like, go tell, go tell the kid. He tell him all that. Then I remember he ain't come home.

Wes:

Yo, he in between some cheeks. Yo, and that's what I would do if I was his age too. Now, if he face first or just you know, crush first, who knows? Between the cheeks, but hey, that's what I'll be at.

DeLaw:

So I was like, he ain't he, I said, Oh, he never came home. I said, damn it, I guess that means it is me.

Wes:

I gotta do it. Oh, Lord. Well, yeah, like I was saying, uh two, I was up the two hours just because uh I got the uh I got out of uh like the patio area outside the kitchen, outside the kitchen door screening porch area. Yeah, so I wanted to uh clear the snow from there because that area um below is right where the laundry room is at to a degree. So I ain't really want nothing to uh like melt and you know, sit down on a you know, seep down on a crack and stuff like that. Cause that happened before and I've been meaning to seal that up. Uh only happened before, only because I allowed a puddle of water to sit there. Like I had proper drainage and stuff like that, but it was blocked because of uh um what do you call it? Me cutting the grass, the residue and stuff like that, just clogged one of the pipes. So when it backfilled, it puddled the water, you know, puddle some water there, and then it just sat there for like days. I'm like, what the fuck does then it was just dripping? What the fuck is water coming from? But since then solved that issue, but I'm like, yo, I can't afford for the snow to be right there. Clear the path so I don't have to take the trash cans uh to the curb all the way in the snow. So I'm just like, yo, this is the path I'm taking for these trash cans because you know with being cold all this week, that snow is gonna be there for a while. And I'm not oh yeah, I'm not stepping in that each and every every you know, every week.

DeLaw:

I think it's only gonna get up to about 30.

Wes:

20. Nah, I only think 30.

DeLaw:

I saw one thing. But see, that's only gonna be for all that's gonna do is just be able to melt your stairs out. But them big mounds of snow, that should be a little bit more than I just created.

Wes:

Yeah, that's it. That I just created, yeah. What this week looking like? Uh that's Monday. Yeah, just about 30. So it shouldn't be too far, you know, too far of a difference for you know where you at too.

DeLaw:

Yeah, no, it's not gonna be too far. It might be a little warmer, you know. As you get closer, closer into those dense cities, it'd be hot. Yeah, I'm not gonna say hot, hot, but like warm enough, yeah. Like I'll be home, it'd be freezing, but as soon as I get in Baltimore City, I'd be like, Oh, it's not even that cold. It's it's cold, but it ain't cold, cold. Even my you can I can even tell the temperature on my car, it'd be rising, it'd be like 12, it was like 12 degrees Friday. And when I got to the city, it was 16.

Wes:

I was what they say it's supposed to snow again Thursday. I guess not.

DeLaw:

If it's if it's going to snow, I need it to snow until like Wednesday. I need them to keep saying we out of work.

Wes:

Uh they already uh called in for you, I guess. Uh tomorrow. That's what they said. You know what? Let me try. I ain't checking my work phone because I I mean I can't do shit. Like, I'm not going nowhere to do anything.

DeLaw:

So I was told my wife, I said, I because the everyone who's emergency essential, because you know I used to be emergency essential, we would have to go in tomorrow anyway.

Wes:

I kinda am, but it ain't like shit I can do. Everything that I could possibly do would have to be done remotely. I can't you know what I mean?

DeLaw:

Like I can't, but yeah, they they close they closed it for everyone who has to go into the building, except for emergency essentials and teleworkers. So if you telework, you gotta telework. If you're emergency essential, you gotta go in. So imagine everybody who has telework on Mondays, so the good the government ain't closed, it's just you at home, you at home, yeah. Yeah, I'll tell my way I bet you tomorrow.

Wes:

Speaking to all the teleworkers, do y'all really be working? Do you really be giving uh uh if you telework on a Monday? Do you really be giving 100?

DeLaw:

Nah, they probably give the same amount I get when I go in the building, like an 18.

Wes:

I'm gonna tell you so how much 18. Hell nah, 10 maybe I'm at home, I don't even got no pants on. It's Monday. So you already know what type of uh what type of time I'm on. I'm just making sure the uh the team's messaging is up and I reply back to stuff, but what am I really doing besides trying not to get angry on uh 2K because somebody at six o'clock in the morning, seven o'clock in the morning wanted to curse everybody out before you went to work? Like I ain't that's the shit I've been dealing with.

DeLaw:

Man, yeah. I told my wife, I said, I can guarantee you when we go, depending on how Monday goes with the people that got going from our unit, because it's funny, management's the only ones that are to uh who are emergency central. Yeah, so I can only imagine what's about to come down. Like I know my supervisor, she's gonna be, oh, I had to come in here and or you know, whatever, and then find out that the person above her, above her and her boss, he probably ain't gonna show up. It's just gonna be her and her and whoever she answers to.

Wes:

I mean, hey, that's that's how the game goes. Yeah, and then the phone. I'm in here with you. Would you that's how the game go.

DeLaw:

Because I I can guarantee you what's what's gonna come down that. But well, you know, we're we're working on making everybody mercy essential. And the first thing I'm gonna say is, what do I need to be mercy essential for? My job, I can do my job from home.

Wes:

Exactly.

DeLaw:

I said if you wanted people to be answering phones or stuff was going on, you know what you could have did give us all telework and make sure that we can get our work lines come to our laptop and we could have answered the phone.

Wes:

So right, and that's what I was about to say, and that's what I don't understand what these organizations is like, but a lot of organizations made concessions for uh when COVID happened. They was like, okay, here's the emergency uh protocol. We're gonna hand people laptops, people that ain't never had laptops. IT is gonna load a soft phone on their computer so they can do this, this, and this, and we're gonna social distance. So, in times like this, if you already know it's about the snow, let's just say you took them laptops back. IT should be giving the motherfuckers back. Oh, I just use this, you use this in case you can't, you're not coming into the you know what I mean?

DeLaw:

Like that type of man, we all think it on Home Depot because they ain't had no damn salt.

Wes:

All right, listen, I had my shit for like two, three years straight. I'm good. Yeah, we into the next one. I'm gonna have to re-up um soon.

DeLaw:

Yeah, we got a little bit more. We brought I brought some last year and we uh we didn't use it all, and we still got uh just enough that um because um she put some down last night and then I went and shoveled this morning while it was still powdering. Because you know, once it if you don't shovel now, pretty much if you don't shovel now, when that sleek and stuff came down, that shit gets heavy. So I was like, if we if I get it down to to something manageable, you know, low, then you know, when I step out there tomorrow to to deal with it, it ain't all heavy. It's just clean off the front step, you know, clean all, you know, go down the stairs, or the throw the ice, throw the salt down. That's you know, call that a day. Because you know, it's all everything is like a thin, like a thin maybe half an inch of air. So and I tried to time it out just perfectly right before the sleep started. And so the sleek started right eight o'clock. Yeah, was it eight o'clock? Yeah, yeah. The sleep started because I got out there about seven o'clock. I finished at like 7 45, and then I drove my wife's car to the liquor store. And then when I was coming.

Wes:

So you went this morning and you you still feel like you gotta go back.

DeLaw:

Yeah, man, I'm gonna have to go back, you know. Either I got open up some Japanese vodka or some vodka in general. I don't do that. Um, niggas broke out here.

Wes:

We just open up bottles all will and this is the time to do it, but you gotta like when I was at the uh the grocery store uh in the grocery store, I was at the liquor store yesterday. I was like, damn, all right, I can buy me about two five dollar uh bottle of wine, just to hold it. Like, I ain't gonna get no good, good shit. It's just like my wife don't drink some of the shit that I drink, so it's like I gotta get something for her. And she kind of like she drink the one, you know, she drink wine, so it's just kind of like, yeah, all right, shit. I ain't about to, you know what I mean? The good shit is for me when I'm ready to, yeah, you know. I just got some high news. Yeah, I was like, I probably should have got and I probably should have got something like that too. But she'll probably she likes you know, she likes sweet shit.

DeLaw:

So it's just like like I didn't I didn't feel no reason to get anything super high. I was like, I could just open up a bottle and keep it rolling and you know, pour, you know, pour something in there if I'm really want to feel something, but now I was like out of the way, I was like, oh I really want to do that.

Wes:

Yeah, also depends if you feel like going out two times a day, as far as like shoveling that shit. Yeah, well I already committed to not going back out. I'm like, I've done I've done enough. I was like, I'm gonna go ahead and form you a little something. I'm like, I'm done.

DeLaw:

Oh nah, I'm not going back out. That's a that's a dead issue. Cause at the end of the day, I caught it right before it started sleeting. So it was a small layer. So I'm like, in the grand scheme of what am I going out there for? For now the steps to be frozen. Yeah. I said the the saving grace of all this right now was getting up the heavy, the the the bigger snow or how much snow it was while it was still powdery and light.

Wes:

Yeah, getting up the the the the one of the major accumulation uh sessions and shit. Like when I walked out there, it was uh what to my shin? To the beginning of my shin, not the middle of my shin. So I'm like, all right, the places I need to get this shit up at, I'm I'm getting it up at. And that's what I did. It took me two hours. She was like, look, it's snowing. I'm I'm watching, I'm I'm I'm watching shit on the big TV.

DeLaw:

You better get all her watching now because when she's done, it's gonna be 2K time.

Wes:

2K time all this boy that you're doing, watch the bad girls club, watch whatever you need to watch on Zeus. Because when 2K time is time, it's time. The big TV gotta come back to uh to daddy to where it belongs. So it's right for owner, right?

DeLaw:

She better get it in now, bench watching her shows because as soon as she's like, I'm going upstairs, and then she'd be like, Well, how you on that dumb ass game? Be like, I ain't get to play it all day. You want to watch the shows, right?

Wes:

You know what's crazy though when it comes to stuff like that? They expect us to stop doing what we're doing when they do them, finish doing what they're doing. That don't mean I'm gonna stop, right? You don't even know when I started. Number two, I might have been doing responsible husband shit while you just lounging.

DeLaw:

So now you want me to stop because you're ready for me because you ready, you like we can't do nothing because you're on that dumb ass game. We couldn't, we could have been doing something all day, but you had to watch a dumbass show. Which one you want? Pick one.

Wes:

She's picking two, they you know, you know how that go. You know how that go. I don't even argue with that with that type of behavior. Continue doing what I'm doing. I might walk to the liquor store. You crazy as hell. Why? Why? Why you got all your stuff yesterday?

DeLaw:

Well, I did, and then I realized I didn't at first I was like, I'm gonna open up a bottle of vodka. Then I realized I didn't want to open up a bottle of vodka.

Wes:

Yeah, I feel you. You're like, not this one. Maybe I can go get a a Saveka down the street or something for the day, not this one, right? Would you if you asked your wife, you're like, yo, could you you mind helping me uh shovel some stuff? You think she helped me?

DeLaw:

I asked her to do that tomorrow. Oh sure, what you say? She looked at me and she was like, sure. That was her way of saying, like, nigga, why can't you just why can't you just break your back? I look at it this way. If I gotta go out there and do all that, that means I better be coming in the house with some hot cocoa, some tea, and some pussy, all the ease, all in all in one situation, just uh all in one situation, yeah. She was like, Oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna make some breakfast. I mean, I we was sitting in the house for like, well, damn, is breakfast ready?

Wes:

I I think mine would uh help, but I I think at the end of the day, I'll be a little uh like all right, man, I got it. You just in my way.

DeLaw:

Hey, look, I I I I tell my wife like this you take care of what you can take care of. I'll start at the bottom and I work my way up to you. Yeah, and then once that we get we meet in the middle, you put the salt down, I'll deal with the rest of it. Yeah, like who wanna be out there all day doing you know, shoveling? I ain't come, yeah. I mean, I think I was only out there for 30 minutes because I was like, I ain't staying out here all day while it's still snowing. I just wanted to get the shit out.

Wes:

Yeah, I uh yeah, I just I talk with that shit as early as I can, as early as I could, let me put it that way. I already pre uh not pre-game, but I prepared yesterday, put everything in the screen and porch so it's easy to get to. I ain't gotta be going upstairs, going into the basement, doing this, this and that, taking shit out. So everything was in the screen and porch. I just had to throw on layers of clothes and keep it moving.

DeLaw:

I didn't even throw on layers of clothes. I put on my hoodie, I put on my my my young nigga mask. Tystee up. Put a hat on a coat, put my gloves on, went out there real quick, scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop, clear out the spot a little bit so we can get out. Because I don't even um I don't even shovel the the the spot all the way where it's like, oh let's shovel out until you see a cement or some shit. I just shovel enough so that we can get the get the cars out. Yeah, that means if as long as it ain't built up around all the times, you can shovel out the front so that we can ride over it and keep it going.

Wes:

It ain't like it's gonna turn into a sheet of uh ice where even if it did, you could still ride over it, yeah.

DeLaw:

So that's what I did. Because when I took her car, she's like, How'd you get it out? I said, 'Cause I shovel the front where it's coming out at. You didn't shovel everything out? No. Like for what? Right. Just get in and out the car. I mean, what are we doing?

Wes:

Right. So speaking of uh duties of uh a husband and wife or uh two domesticated people living together, this guy he needs so he needs uh specialty D law advice, specialized D law advice.

DeLaw:

Uh advice from me.

Wes:

No, he do, he do, he do. He says uh his wife is 27, he's 30, and they've been married for seven years. Um, and all those in those seven years, they've both been somewhat messy people. He says, I've always been the kind of person that yo-yos in between an immaculate clean house and a level five hurricane where you have to step over random items to navigate to a room. What I can tell before we got married, my wife was similar, and you can imagine that when we began living together, that didn't really change. I've always known that I've that I share fairly equal blame for causing these messes, so I never bought it up with her. I who I am, who am I to ask you to do? Who am I to ask you to be cleaner when I haven't figured it out myself? Two years ago we had our first child and we decided that it would stay at home with the baby and my wife continuing her career. That's your first mistake.

DeLaw:

She's already this meant she was a nigga.

Wes:

This meant I would also take on the bulk of the responsibilities when it came to keeping the house in order. Cleaning, cooking, all that good stuff. Because we wouldn't because she wouldn't have as much time to do so. I've been happy and content with this arrangement, and I feel I feel that we are fairly we are fairly equally split the load of life between us. That's because he's playing video games, but I get it. This is the part where I uh this is the this is the part where I might be an asshole. Since having a child, I have worked much harder to keep the house in order and consistently clean. And I feel proud of the uh personal changes I've been able to make in doing so, but being the one who mainly who is mainly responsible for cleaning has meant that I am often cleaning up after my wife. I don't have an issue with the idea of cleaning up after her. Um yeah, I don't have an issue with cleaning up after her, but I really feel like she could be putting forth more in an effort than cleaning up after herself, or at least putting things away when she is done with them. For example, when she is done making coffee in the morning, she leaves she leaves with the handle on. Oh, it must be British. Whatever have you, coffee grounds and coffee grounds and dirty unrinsed. In the maker and milk all over the frothing quand. I don't know what a frothing wand is. Must be a what? Yeah. This makes this makes for tough cleanup when I go to clean everything because it's dried and caked on. Leaving dishes, garbage, clothes, etc., all over the house. Leaving plates, cups, cutlery, British, and leaving crumbs or similar food, mess on the couch and other surfaces after eating a meal. Getting a bunch of toys, paint supplies, coloring books, etc., out to play with our son, then leaving it all out. I understand that I have agreed to be the person in charge of keeping our own clean, but it really feels like she could make my job a lot easier with minimum effort. Whenever I have tried to talk to her about these things, which is many times, she agrees, apologizes, and nothing changes. I feel guilty asking her to change this when I have very similar flaws. I also feel guilty because I agreed to be in charge of the state of our house.

DeLaw:

Listen, I uh yeah, my whole thing is he messed up when he decided he was gonna be a stay-at-home dad to take care of the kid.

Wes:

No, he messed up by not putting his foot down when she he noticed that. So my whole thing is yes, I'm still gonna make sure the house is clean. They don't stop you from being an adult and taking a cup over to the sink to put it in the sink. Because if we were both working, you still got to do that, so just keep the same energy. Like, I don't I don't understand that. Like you work, you started working harder. Like, no, right. I stay home. You still working the same type of work you was doing, right?

DeLaw:

Because you are you already know everyone's gonna be like, Well, you know, that's John. That's the same thing that I go through. I'm gonna tell you like this my wife don't go through that okay. He he he ain't he ain't say he didn't have an issue cleaning washing her dishes, he just said bring the shit to the sink, bitch.

Wes:

That's pretty much what he's saying.

DeLaw:

He's like, Look, I don't mind cleaning up.

Wes:

Hold the napkin in the trash after you wipe your mouth, right? Like you just say I'm cleaning up out the two children, that's what it feels like now.

DeLaw:

If you're gonna if you're gonna do it, you gotta say, hey, look, I don't have an issue, I'm here all day, I can wash the distance, I can wash the clothes, all that, but don't just leave a cup by your thing thinking I'm gonna clean, I'm gonna leave that motherfucker right there. Yeah, into the sink. If it's in the sink, it gets done.

Wes:

Nah, she'll probably come home and be like, yo, what did you do all day? Nothing the house isn't clean. If she hit you with that, what you do?

DeLaw:

What do you say? Yeah. I cleaned the house. Oh, you mean your cup you didn't put in the sink that you used, picked up all your stuff in? Yeah, I left it right there until you put it in the sink. That's where I wash it at. I don't wash it up here. What wrong with you?

Wes:

You know what I would do since it's snowing and shit? The roads are reversed like that. Like, yo, you won't have to come home and rake these weeds when you uh on your on your off day. Because I'd be cleaning the house and you're gonna need to do this. I ain't about to be doing the domestic shit and still uh the brunt of the uh the the you know the quote unquote um man shit. Go break them leaves, go shovel them.

DeLaw:

Shove the snow. I'll break your leaves. So I had your hot cocoa ready, your breakfast I will, I sure will.

Wes:

House will be clean, but I'm not going out there. Yeah.

DeLaw:

Man, listen, I uh I don't know, maybe like we'll fold that meat, man.

Wes:

Like, just like yo, you ain't getting like I need some things I'm noticing. You said you'll get it together, you haven't got it together. Um I'm sorry, I'm just so tired that I can't fathom uh doing that at the end of the day because you know, taking care of your kid and this, this, and that. Yo, just flip the whole script like they do to us. I don't have the energy to do that after running around this kid all day and cleaning the house. I that's the last thing I want to do. You tell her that she goes to bed, and then you go downstairs and play 2K.

DeLaw:

That will get her attention. That will get her attention. Am I wrong? It probably would.

Wes:

Probably not the attention that you what something happened.

DeLaw:

It's gonna get some attention, I'll tell you that. Yeah, I don't know this. When I was reading this, I'm like, yo, it's a nice problem to have.

Wes:

Like, she was like, Yeah, I'll go to work because most women ain't doing that. They want to stay home with their baby. And she allows you to stay home. You know what's crazy about that though? Sometimes, like situations like that could be the perfect situation. Like, yo, um, she makes a lot of money. Let's just say both parties make a lot of money. One person is the father of the situation, the man of the situation decides to stay home. Even though this dude is not a bum because he was making a lot of money, because she's working, she'll still resent him. Like he's the like he ain't had like he ain't never had a job. Like he a bum and ain't bring don't bring nothing to the table. It's like, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. I was giving six figures, and we we decided for me to stay home. We're making the same amount of money to cut down on some bills and shit. And you getting at me like I like you mad at me that I'm at home, like I'm lazy or something like that.

DeLaw:

Uh what was that movie, grown-ups? How uh Chris Rox Rock's wife looked at him when he he was cooking.

Wes:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

DeLaw:

And she came home. I don't, I don't want you to feel that way. He's like, You just don't appreciate I cooked and I tried this. I was like, Lord, yeah.

Wes:

Literally, literally that. Literally that. I just think of something in them where it's just like, yo, if they don't see their man doing like you said the shit before, they don't see your other man doing something or whatever, whatever, being uh what is the word, uh busy and active and shit. It's just like what you really doing, but they can just sit down all day and watch it is the weirdest, it is the weirdest dynamic, man.

DeLaw:

They watch TV and talk about I'm I'm taking a break because I be working hard. I don't work hard.

Wes:

Listen, the other day I I came home, I didn't even come home early. I came home earlier than what I normally do because I went out earlier to do something. I come in, my wife's like, You go home early. I didn't clean up anything. And I'm like, what do you mean? She was like, You weren't supposed to be home at this time. I said, Yo, I told you what I was coming home at this time. I'm getting up now to clean up. I'm like, yo, I was like, yo, so you was just gonna clean up all this within what 45 minutes? I'm like, you couldn't do the 45 minutes before before today.

DeLaw:

Like you like. Look, I hate to say that's wise for you because it used to be before me and my wife got to a point where we are now, it used to be, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'ma um, I'ma cook dinner. I'll be, you know, I'm just math medias. Oh, I'm gonna cook, I'm gonna have dinner ready. All right, cool. I done got home at like we close at eight. I get home about 8:30, 8:45. She getting the bed passed out from being high. I'm like, come on.

Wes:

Mine too, y'all like, nah, I was cleaning up and I just needed a nap. I'm like, a fucking nap. A nap. You need no nap.

DeLaw:

And she she'll get home, she would get home from work. So she'll get home like around 3, 3:30, 4 o'clock. And she'd be like, yeah, I'm about to um start on dinner in a in a in like probably like an hour or so. And I'll be in look, I'll call and talk to her. All right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm about to start on dinner, I'm about to start on dinner. I get home. Hey, babe. I I come upstairs. Hey, babe, you put did you put the food in the refrigerator? She's like, Oh shit. Oh, what time is it? Oh yeah, it's nine o'clock.

Wes:

Nine o'clock. Oh, yeah, you said you were working at bad nazium at the time.

DeLaw:

She's like, Oh, it's nine o'clock. Oh shit. I ain't gonna lie, I I ain't gonna lie. I uh I I hit the J and I had to take a nap. Like, oh so y'all just sitting in this motherfucker hungry?

Wes:

Oh my god.

DeLaw:

You know, in my head, I'm like, what the hell am I getting myself into?

Wes:

Like, yo, she living a life, living a life. I wish I could co-hold sleep for four more hours.

DeLaw:

That's it, that shit was crazy. I was like, yo, how are you? I'm like, you told me, and you know, for me, I'm like, it's not that she was sleep because if she said I'm going to sleep and she wasn't cooking, then I know to go get something.

Wes:

Back then, everything wasn't finished to completion before you went to sleep.

DeLaw:

Yeah, I was at home. That and it's like, all right, if I tell you I'm about to get I'm gonna have dinner ready when you get home, guess what's gonna happen? I'm gonna have dinner ready when you get home.

Wes:

Like or there's some there's a there's a really, really good reason why it ain't. Not because I'm like, yo, I need a nap.

DeLaw:

Yeah, but that's that's how I look at it. Like, it's well, you always so always mad. No, it's you said you were gonna do this. I came home expecting this to be done, and it's not done. Because when you come home, if I say I'm gonna have dinner ready by the time you get home, you're gonna walk in the house like, wow, like I'm hungry, and this, this, and this, and the food ain't ready. You gonna you won't give me an ear for about it.

Wes:

You know what you should have said. Like, all right, we're gonna work on that. I'm gonna need you go outside.

DeLaw:

Hey, look, if you shovel the snow, we can go outside.

Wes:

We need to make sure the castle is straight.

DeLaw:

Yeah, hey, look, because you know, because you know, you know, once it hits a certain time, it's gonna be two cake time, so don't be asking me to load nothing. Right. You know, I gotta I gotta get used to this small forward building and shit.

Wes:

So county ain't hit the street yet, so we'll see.

DeLaw:

You know what county not hitting the street, it'll keep the county people from not going in. But uh yeah, y'all stay folks. Yeah, we'll be back in work soon. We'll be back in work soon. You see that uh adrenal sent you with uh Cam talking to his ex? Nah, when do you send it? Oh, I gotta look. You know, I don't be on social media like that too much.

Wes:

Neither do I. And you including everybody be sending me stuff, and I'll be like, I'm gonna look at it, and I never get to it. If I send I didn't say nothing, nothing against y'all, it's just I'll be like doing stuff.

DeLaw:

If I send you stuff, it's like stuff from tonight's conversation, yeah, yeah, and uh and the dumb shit people be putting on there. I'm like, like I saw a clip today, and the chick was like, she's messing with a married man. Oh, and you know, she's not a bad person. It's just something about him being married that turns her on.

Wes:

No, she's like, You won't say that on that front of people, yeah.

DeLaw:

And I'm like, and so now you know you got very different personalities up on that stage, yeah. And you got one person who's like, well, you know, this, this, and this. You got no more. She only speaks out of emotion, she ain't even a real doctor. She calls her doctor something, which ain't even no real doctor, but she only get all emotional. You're this, you're so the guy was like, Well, you know, I'll preach to you this way. You're not a bad person, just making bad decisions. The other person's like, no, she's a bad person because she knows he's married. I'm like, Well, when I really and then when I really thought about it, I said it takes two, though.

Wes:

It's not like uh it's different when he's like, No, ma'am, no, and then she's still trying to pursue things, and yeah, you might actually be, you know what I mean? There's an argument for that, yeah. But two partaking is just like, yo, yeah, I'm yeah.

DeLaw:

I mean, because you know the whole what the whole thing is, dude, dude, yeah, her first didn't tell her that he was married, he he he gave her that good dick, and then now she's stuck. Yeah, he's stuck because like, damn, that's some good yeah. Like, uh, uh, uh, uh if he probably trying to find somebody else, but they ain't doing it like he do it.

Wes:

It's like it gotta be more to it than that.

DeLaw:

Yeah, probably. But as much as women be like, oh, yeah, pussy run the world, I'm like, eh, can't believe that because y'all be y'all be staying with ain't shit niggas having about 50, 11.

Wes:

All the time, all the time.

DeLaw:

All for dick. Not not even you know he ain't shit, you know he bad, you know he don't love you, he been beaten on you, but that dick is too good to be letting go. And then yeah, you be like, well, dudes possess like that too. Dudes are possessive. I'm a we are. But we ain't about to sit and be like, I can't let nobody else have that that dick.

Wes:

No, some I mean, some of them are.

DeLaw:

I ain't gonna I'm not gonna say they know they I'm like, yeah, y'all say dudes make bad decisions over pussy, like yeah, y'all look dude, dude ain't got no money, no car, no job. He got good dick, and you and you're like, oh, I can I can build him up and we can build you got niggas with jobs, car, money can take you on trips that you be messing with, and then cheat on him with a nigga that ain't got shit. It is what it is, it is what it is, you know. But I think the most recent one, what did I see? So it was a chick. So this I don't think I sent this one to you. But a chick got uh met a guy and pretty much he said that he he he he doesn't she doesn't she thinks she's ready to leave the guy, even though he brought her like you know partial freedom from her past life. So she like was in a bad place, dad died, all these people, you know, all these things going on, helped her through the recovery of plastic surgery and all the other stuff, right? Yeah, so she wants to leave him because she says she feels like he's being stagnant where he is. It's like well, he doesn't want to try, I want to travel, and he doesn't want to travel. I just it was like pulling teeth to get him to get a passport. I'm just like I'm just looking at this like I I can't be on this stage. I can't be on this stage and looking at this woman in the face and not tell her, so you get a new ass. Now you need to.

Wes:

And now she she brand new new ass who this. That's that's that's all that is.

DeLaw:

You got you a new ass.

Wes:

Now you want to be, she wanna show it off, right?

DeLaw:

Okay, this nigga stood by you all this time, going through your ups and downs, and now you're mad because he hasn't transformed in the time you have. Well, guess what? He's been helping you continue your transformation and not being a burden on you changing, and now you now you mad. Well, I mean, I try to give him some grace. No, bitch, he stood there with you in the midst of all your trouble, right? And now you got this new body, dudes probably talking. And how I look heard it was all these dudes talking to you, and they got money, and they they really they try and do other things like, oh, let's go travel, let's go with this. And he like, nah, bitch. I'm a hood nigga. First off, you you messing with the hood nigga who don't want to leave nowhere but his block. Oh my you messing with the hood nigga, don't want to leave nowhere but his block, expecting him to want to go travel. He don't know nothing about that life. You he you you you said it right. You're a gangbanger. That's what he said. That's what she said. So he was a gangbanger. So he, you know, she's it was pulling teeth to give him the move out of San Diego, it was Disney. Like, I just got my passport. Yeah, because that's all them niggas know. Them niggas don't know about no traveling outside a block. No, they don't know nothing. Like, that's not that's not the life they live.

Wes:

You know, sometimes uh life is as simple as uh knowing when you're trying to put on shoes that are too big for you or too small. Yeah, as I mean, it is once you realize, like, oh, this might be one of those situations, uh, it might be time for you to find the right pair of shoes, you know. Yeah, it might be time because that's uh if you feel if you honestly feel that way, ain't nothing they gonna ain't no advice they gonna give you to make him and you're trying to make him do you know what I mean?

DeLaw:

Like right, you're trying to change who he was, and you knew who he was the whole time y'all been together.

Wes:

He gotta want to do it. If I wanna do it, I don't wanna do it.

DeLaw:

And maybe he has good reason for not wanting to go do all these things that you wanna do. Maybe, yeah, maybe if he got a passport, oh well, yeah.

Wes:

He if he got a passport, he can travel. He got a passport now, yeah.

DeLaw:

But it's like you gotta, you know, and and I don't think a lot of women see it this way. All right, my wife's saying question, like you want to travel, you want to do this. Oh, that shit requires bread.

Wes:

Time. So imagine let's say he he might not be gangbanging right now, but let's say he's still kind of one foot in, one foot out.

DeLaw:

Oh, yeah. If he leaves, if he leaves, he losing money. Yeah, it's like you gotta you you gotta know who you're dealing with. And like I tell my wife, I said, I don't mind traveling, but with women, women don't give a shit about anyone else around them but them when it comes to when they want to go travel. I want to travel, I want okay, cool. Dudes don't spend money before they get it, and to that chick by account, I'm gonna be like, oh well, this money goes here, this money goes here, this money goes here, this no, let me pay this now. Let me see what I got. Y'all, yeah, they missing payments to go on this trip. Or someone hungry. Mm-hmm.

Wes:

Realize when they get there, everything, uh, the food costs a lot of money to eat out. Because you're not getting no home cooked meals. And now you're like shit, Wittermere's McDonald's.

DeLaw:

Yeah, and like I be telling my wife, I'm like, when we go on these trips, we gotta save up money. And if we don't save up no money, we can't enjoy it. Right. Like it's not like we're gonna, I mean, we've been to one all inclusive place, and it's not like The embassy suites where you can go down there, get your breakfast, eat your breakfast, then go down there, get a whole nother plate for your lunch later on, put it in the refrigerator to get another one for your dinner. They put that in the refrigerator. You can't do all that. It's live these places. You gotta go buy some shit. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? So it's uh I give if you it's it's cool to want to travel, and I don't mind going traveling, but that's just half of it. Do we have enough money to go do this? If you wanted to go on an excursion while we're in Puerto Rico, do we have enough money to go do this? If we wanted to buy some food now here in Puerto Rico, do we have enough money to do this? Getting down there is not the problem. It's how do we feed ourselves? You're gonna go hungry for the two days we're gonna be down there, three days we down there, four days we down there. Yeah, it's like what's the point of going down there if we ain't gonna enjoy it because we ain't gonna get there, right? I mean, I mean, because like when we went to Manhattan the first time last year, we went down there with a little bit of money because we had already gone on two trips prior. We had gone to Panama, right? Yeah, I remember that, and yeah, we went to Panama, and when we were in Panama, you know, we had enough money to do that. Then she wanted to go, she we turned right back around and went to Dallas or Fort Worth to go to the Ethiopian barbecue. We didn't have enough time to build up money for us. So we we're paying for that stuff out of money that we got saved for other shit. Um and then we turned around to go right to Manhattan and we might have gone up there with maybe $200 between the two of us.

Wes:

And you already know. I don't see me personally, I just don't feel excuse me. I don't feel comfortable with uh trying to figure that out. If I'm gonna go anywhere, I'm gonna at least need like $500 between the both of us. I'm sorry, $500 each.

DeLaw:

Well, this time we went up to Manhattan with $800. Yeah. This time we went up, but I also got sick down there too. So we had cheap stuff of like eating soup. And I think we might have got I might have got a steak or something one day, but we didn't eat a lot of other stuff. It was uh like stuff that could be easily digestible because I was getting sick. So it wasn't that bad, it worked, but yeah. But no, they gotta know that they gotta know who they're dealing with. You can't tell a nigga they want to travel, you want to travel and then get mad because he don't want to travel, then go on a trip. Like if you really care about this nigga, it's okay to go on a trip. Bye, see you. He ain't tripping.

Wes:

I mean he might, but he probably not.

DeLaw:

Yeah, just you know, it's not like they if they were married and she was like, Well, I'm going on a trip and I met a guy, you disrespect they married, they're like, Come on, like yeah, you just cause you go out somewhere don't mean you go fucking it while you why you yeah, but let them say let us say that to them, and that shit don't exist.

Wes:

So that means if I go out somewhere, that means I'm fucking bitches. That means uh are you when you go out there by yourself, are you you the ones that give like come on now? Like and he had that argument, yeah.

DeLaw:

Nah, see when I I found that women are the only ones that if a woman does it, there has to be a reason that they did it.

Wes:

But when we did it, there's no reason there's no reason except for that we just horrible like what was it?

DeLaw:

A nice conversation. A dude said that uh his girl, I think his wife or his girlfriend cheated on him. And I forgot what he said, but somebody on the stage was like, Yep, it's probably something you did because you probably weren't paying attention to this, this, this, this, and this. And I'm just like, Did she really just say that out of her mouth that that the only reason a woman cheats is because a man does something?

Wes:

So sometimes they don't really uh sometimes they just don't really like you off the bat, and then they realize they don't like you and you're not gonna change, and they don't know how to let you go because oh, you're still such a good guy, and they don't want to leave a good guy, but they don't want to be with the good guy. Right. To me, I think that's nine times out of ten, that's why most of them kind of do that.

DeLaw:

Look, if if if she's willing to cheat on you, that means she's just a shitty person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm not saying she might be not be, she might not be a bad person, but she definitely she's definitely not a moral person. She's definitely not a person with integrity that she can't just say, you know what, I'm ready to break out with you. You know, it's that like you can't everything can't be like because even me, my wife watched TV. Oh well, she she might have had a reason to cheat on. What's what's what is a reason to cheat on your husband decides to make a beating the shit out of you? I mean, I mean, uh if I'm just talking about in a reality of it, your husband go to work, yes. Your husband makes sure you alright. Do he go out of his way to do stuff for you? Does he do all these things that a husband supposed to do?

Wes:

But what if what if what if, and I'm not condoning it, but what if Shorty be like, yo, he just treat me like he uh like I'm uh like I'm um like all I'm supposed to do is just like cook, clean, and be a sex doll. You don't talk to me on this, and on that. I'm just like there. I'm an object to him. What do you think the nigga that you cheating on with is doing what if that dude, you know how this shit go. What if he playing his party listening to her, saying, damn, that's crazy, girl. He's saying like what if he doing she he doing the bare minute?

DeLaw:

He don't talk to me. Okay, the you're you're looking at her from you confiding this dude. This dude don't give a shit about what you say because he's using you like your husband using you as a sex dog. You just don't have to cook and clean.

Wes:

So what you're saying is so what you what you're saying is she should stay with her husband?

DeLaw:

Yeah, why not? He expects you to cook and clean just like you expect him to do stuff too.

Wes:

So you're telling me that what I'm saying is the uh I guess what I'm getting to is uh sometimes the situations, right? The uh the tasks are uh completed and the tasks are being done, but the actual connection between the two people aren't there.

DeLaw:

Yeah, it might not be, yeah.

Wes:

So that's what I'm saying. And usually women operate off of that, but they don't uh sometimes they don't know how to say it or relay that, like, oh, I'm just there, or this this and that, or the task being done.

DeLaw:

Women are who are worse than men at communicating, yeah. They are worse than men at communicating, they expect you to know what they want before they know it, before they even know it. So you're saying, well, he he he won't talk to me, but are you talking about to him about something that he cares about? Are you or do you want him to listen to the gossip of what's going on at work? Because I don't want to do that, I don't want to do that. Are you talking about something that's relevant to anything that's helping you guys in the house financially in your marriage? Or are you telling me about what happened at the sorority event or what you saw out? Uh me and my wife talk, but between no with me and my wife, my wife, like, oh well. Like if I talk to her about what's going on at work, my wife's like, well, you know, uh, you you're so long-winding. You tell me about saying, Okay, cool. So I don't say nothing because you have now told me you don't give a shit about what I'm saying. If I can't do it in 30 seconds or less, don't say nothing. But then you come home and you complain about the same shit every day. And I'm like, well, you don't ever talk to me. I do, but you told me I talked when I tell you these stories, you heard the story, but I included the story in a month. It's it just so happened to circle back. And I'm telling you, buddy, now you well, you know, you take so long, and like I be tuning out.

Wes:

So I wish, I would wish a man could confidently say that to a woman. You talking too much and it's so long-winded, I just be tuning out.

DeLaw:

Yeah, right.

Wes:

That shouldn't have a fly.

DeLaw:

But that that tells you, it's like well, you you'll never talk to me or talking about things I want I want to talk about. What do you want to talk about? Like, what's going on in in out in politics? I don't really care about politics. I don't really care about politics.

Wes:

Yeah, if it if it's not affecting us here in our current situation, why the only thing we can do, I was talking to multiple people on different things, different aspects of society right now, is be ready so you ain't gonna get ready. Stay ready so you ain't gotta get ready. But uh until it happens, I mean, you know what I mean? I ain't gonna say you gotta live your life like you don't know what's happening, be aware, but don't let it uh you can't like don't let it guide your your feelings and stuff like that right now until it actually happens and you got some time to some bandwidth to actually analyze that. Because if it's happening to you, then that's all you gotta focus on, is that you know what I mean?

DeLaw:

Yeah, because she'll she'll she'll tell me like, oh well, you know, did you hear about what Trump is doing? Did you hear about Trump's done? No. Well, you you gotta you you you gotta pick a side. You you what side are you on? I'm like, what are you talking about? Side of what? I'm like, I still have a job, I still pay my bills. Right. What am I worried about? Right. I keep my ID on me at all times, my social security, my social security numbers on me at all times so that they know I'm a U.S. citizen. They can't just come and detain me for no reason. Like I do what I'm supposed to do until I hear something credible that is like I heard they was in buoy not long ago the other day.

Wes:

I thought I heard they was in buoy like two weeks ago.

DeLaw:

Yeah, they was in buoy. But buoy has a big Spanish population. That I didn't know. Ethiopian, Spanish, Ethiopia with Spanish, Ethiopian, African population, along with they got a huge Asian population too. Yeah, so yeah, they they out in Bowie. I mean, it didn't they was like, oh, yeah, okay. At the end of the day, like you said, you ain't gotta you ain't gotta be scrambling around to get ready if you already ready.

Wes:

So when you feel like this is the time to get ready, then just get ready. Yeah, like when they're and just see what happens.

DeLaw:

When they first like, well, I just detaining black people. Oh, okay. It doesn't bother you. I said, well, when they detain me, they're gonna have to take my license. And when they look in my wallet and see that I have a social security member and they realize I'm an American citizen, now you have to undetain me.

Wes:

Yeah.

DeLaw:

So legally they have to, but you know you can you can take me in and well, they have my ID. I saw them take my social security card and throw it.

Wes:

It's not only that, you have so many things to prove that you are yeah. So I was just like, I'm in US.

DeLaw:

At this point, y'all playing the news, and that's why and that's why they're like, Oh, you know, you gotta be ready for these cops. Okay, they tell me to get out of the car. Okay, what are you detaining me for? Okay, oh, so you arrest me? Okay, cool. Okay, you didn't meet the description. So not only did you arrest me, no Miranda rights, no Miranda rights, you dragged me out my car when I willingly got out. I cooperated. Yes, I'm silly. Like at the end of the day, once you know what you need to do, you're good. Now, if they come out already drawing guns, ready to kill you, that just means they were already having a bad day to begin with.

Wes:

Having a bad day, you felt no, or they felt like having a good day. Yeah, that could be seen two different ways.

DeLaw:

Yeah, yeah. I mean, nothing I can do about a racist person running up on me and trying to kill me. There's nothing I can do about these young niggas out here who are just willy-nilly thinking, oh, if I catch a body and go to prison, I'm gonna have I'm gonna have rap. There's nothing I can do about that stuff because that is the culture they want to live. Yeah, that's what they want to live, that's what they want to be. And if they don't want to be more than just young niggas out here because they think it's cool to terrorize people and not even one-on-one try to fight people, but at a whole gang of people just pulling out guns and you need to start, you need to start looking at your community and find out where the OGs tell them eight and I this ain't cool. Where are the parents at that ain't that supposed to be telling these kids to get your ass in the fucking house? Right. You gotta look at your community, you gotta look at the people around. Like if these kids are going unguided, it starts at the very base level and it starts at home.

Wes:

Right. On that note, um, parents start uh go back to whooping your uh your ass, whooping your kids' ass in school. Yeah, in the school, in the classroom, in front of their friends, in front of their friends, yeah.

DeLaw:

And tell and tell the principal, I dare you, I double dog dare you. Go back to your ass too.

Wes:

Go back to doing that, and uh the world may be a better place. Yeah. Uh thank everybody for tuning in and see you next time.

DeLaw:

See you next time. Leo said bye too. Roll out.